SEX!!!

but sex doesnt have to be fast and furious !

I'm a mr. nice guy. It's really crap. I'm not interested in a woman unless I can form a good friendship with her first. Then, by the time we're friends she knows me well enough not to fancy me! I can't stand the ambiguity of friendships with females. Once they know me they think I'm a nutter and maybe I am, I've lived through some ****ed up times and thought so long and hard about many things it makes them difficult. For instance, if you tell somebody you love them isn't that kind of like emotional blackmail? It's like saying "If you don't love me I'm going to suffer". If you tell somebody you love them then it also becomes their duty to look after themselves, cutting down short term solutions like drugs and alcohol or suicide. But then whose right is it to deprive the alcoholic or the suicidally inclined of a guiltless path towards self- anhilation? If you really loved such a person wouldn't you leave them to it and respect their wishes beyond a self-interested desire to keep the emptiness of grief out of your life?

On the other hand love is such an ambiguous word; you love your friends right? I do. So love can be returned on a non-physical basis, this makes it easier for a person who is not physically attracted to return love. So, to say "I love you" isn't necessarily a big guilt trap, it's easy to return love as a friend. On the other hand there's nothing like physical contact to express affection. Physical contact of any kind could spark sexual jealousy, once this "friend" takes another, a lover, you're left aside so your GTI doppleganger can enjoy a more complete "Friendship" with your friend without becoming jealous.
Perhaps the most important practical difference between friendly and erotic love is jealousy. Erotic love has an element of jealousy, we're happy to share our friends but not our partners. There's a genetic reason for this, genes which code for jealousy and "protection" of a propogator of fit genes outcompete sharing genes that respect the freedom of another more completely.
Perhaps mass swinging could reduce jealousy, if everyone shared perhaps nobody would be so fussy and mingers wouldn't be so deprived of happiness. Things would end up like some big commune, perhaps it would allow a greater de-coupling between the concepts of friendship and of erotic sensation bt perhaps then resultant children would have no particular paternal parent to call their own. Tons of unwanted babies would turn up, loads of STDs.
So, you can't win. Nobody does. Then we all die.

Man that cucumber thing makes you look like you are walking around with a boner all the time. Use a tube sock... It gives it a longer flaccid look.

As far a sex pickup lines go... you guys all play guitars...you don't need pickup lines. It's a statistical hairbndrckr fact that 90% of the women in the first two rows of the venue you are playing want to be treated to the one eyed trouser monster, sock or not.... the other 10% want to have sex with you AND the chick next to her....

So why aren't you getting laid more people?

Also to make this thread the absolute longest thread in guitar tricks history... I see we haven't touched on sex in public places... what...you all scared?...

You know those glass elevators some of those large shopping malls and some hotels have? Stop one of those and hike up the ol ladys skirt in one of those... of course if there are passengers, ask if they wanna join in on the fun... :)

I never shared this before, mainly because it's beyond embarassing, but when me and my girlfriend were getting nasty inside the backseat of my car once, all of the sudden these bright flashing lights came out of nowhere. Keep in mind we were on a gravel road in the boonies and it was pitch-black out. We were like 'what the hell??'. Our car windows were all fogged up and someone knocked on the window. My woman rolled down the window and it was a police officer. Talk about embarassing! I thought she (female officer) was going to make us get out of the car naked. The officer was really nice about it and said she was just checking to see if everything was alright. I guess our car looked suspicious parked on the side of the gravel road in the middle of nowhere. I still remember her saying, 'Having a little loving, eh?'. My girlfriend and I were petrified. Definitely one of the most awkward moments I've experienced.

hey finger cruncher thats bad. She could of just said sorry as soon as she realised what was going on and just left you alone.
I've actually had a more embaressing thing happen to me involving a girl and her mum !
I will talk about that later in this thread though :)

one new years eve, me and a girlfriend were in her room having sex, and she had my hands tied to the bed post. Well, next thing I know her mom and drunk step dad walk in on us hands tied up and all. luckily the lights were off and they didn't cut them on. they basically walked in on us to give me their blessing to screw their daughter (not exactly what was said, but it was the basic point). to make things worse they stood their and talked to us for close to 30min. Talk about being uncomfortable, try being tied up with your girlfriend riding the hell out of you and her whole family walks in on you. needless to say, it was all she could do to try to get me to rise to the occasion again.

Originally posted by xxkp89xx
Has anyone ever felt a burning sensation after they attempted to staple their penis another guys' penis?

DUHHHH!!!!!!

why would u staple your penis with another guy's penis in the first place?

Because painful porn like that can sell for a lot of money. And I do mean a lot. Some of the more extreme videos like that can sell in the several thousands even after being copied so many times they're all fuzzy and they're severely damaged. There are some very wealthy perverts out there.

i have seen peeps splitting their members in two halves and stuff like that. each to their own.. *shivers*

Guitar/Sex fact:

Ya know, shredder guitarists are exceptional masturbators because of the extremely fast technique they've developed through years of alternate picking discipline.



:P

i do economy and sweep and sometimes two-hand wanking *LOL*

[Edited by Azrael on 03-01-2004 at 05:02 AM]

Originally posted by finger_cruncher
Guitar/Sex fact:

Ya know, shredder guitarists are exceptional masturbators because of the extremely fast technique they've developed through years of alternate picking discipline.
:P

I agree :) Thats seems to be true for me.

Originally posted by aiwass
It's the other way around. Masturbation is the reason so many beginners pick from the elbow.

LMAO@that!!!!!

What a mindless thread. All people seem to talk about is the length of their dicks. A porn star, Asia Carrera, said that she and many others in her line of work don't like doing guys with big dicks and that a normal sized one hits the g-spot fine and that's all she needs. And as for the clitoris, well, stimulating that doesn't need a dick at all.

This is all stupid.

well if you think it's stupid, then don't come back to this thread.....duh. btw...lmao @ Az'

Originally posted by u10ajf
What a mindless thread. All people seem to talk about is the length of their dicks. A porn star, Asia Carrera, said that she and many others in her line of work don't like doing guys with big dicks and that a normal sized one hits the g-spot fine and that's all she needs. And as for the clitoris, well, stimulating that doesn't need a dick at all.

This is all stupid.

Ask her which videos make more $$, the ones with impressive equipment or the mediocre ones.

Penis size - females vengence on feeling insecure about their breasts size. Just like a pretty face. Everybody wants one or to have one at their side until it gets old and then it's terribly depressing. Physical attributes, in my opinion, are a way to make money and not to be discussed seriously or by intelligent people.

Mind you, when a bit of cash comes my way, I'm going to extend my tongue 4 inches and get a 13 incher installed. And then I'm not going to associate with female who doesn't partake in anal activites and if it hurts, I don't care. If you feel no pleasure, who cares! You're only a female and an object of desire right? Trophy bitches and fame whores for me.

Asia Carerra says that crap because all she does all day is get plowed by anacondas. It's kinda like doing work at home. You go to work and use the industrial equipment all day, and when you come home to do stuff, you pull out the light-duty equipment cause you don't have to work as hard at home as you do at work.

Any woman who says "Size doesn't matter" probably has already "been there and done that, brought the t-shirt home"... They don't want the "average" male to feel insecure and be deprived of the nookie, cause they truly want it more than men... so they LIE... Yes gentlemen, they LIE.... Men are from Mars, and women like PENIS...large that it....if they didn't, penile implants wouldn't be offered on the plastic surgery menu...

Man some of you people are lame... where are the good public sex stories.... ok ok here is one of mine....

Back in the olden days of hair (80's to the yung'ins out there), my girl and I skipped school to check out the first week of Spring Break in Daytona... This was back when you could actually drive on the beach... Well, my girl and I were sitting behind the car watching the people drive by, and it was packed... She threw a towel over us and started in with the hand... then she ducked under for a little pole polishing... Needless to say a lot of folks were honking and waving and cheering her on... a lot of "chug, chug, chug" being chanted also for some reason ;)

Originally posted by basics
... Trophy bitches and fame whores for me.

Of course, this assumes you will achieve fame.... :rolleyes: