ok yeah so sex stories, alright here we go. this one time i was.... oh screw it I'm a virgin. but I'm only 15 so I got some time, but my fricken parents have to have me home schooled (which is the most BORING thing ever :mad: ) so the only place I can really meet chicks is at church... needless to say I get no lovin from those girls, they are such hardcore christians that they think like making out is wrong, they don't even kiss you till you've dated them for a month. it's just wrong. hopefully next year I'll get a job, then I can meet coworkers, and since I live in california ALL the girls here are hot, well like 9 out of 10 grils are hot, whereas in other parts of the country i've been it's like 4 out of every 10 chicks you see are hot.
and btw the thing about guitarists being expert masturbators, well I was already an expert masturbator then I started playing guitar and could play really fast to begin with... ;)
SEX!!!
# 1

Originally Posted by: 6strngs_2hmbkrsok yeah so sex stories, alright here we go. this one time i was.... oh screw it I'm a virgin. but I'm only 15 so I got some time....
LOL....
Don't worry, you have plenty of time to screw your life up chasing women.
Peace,
-Rick
Play what you hear
Listen to what you play
Does it sound good?
Listen to what you play
Does it sound good?
# 2
I know what you actually meant was make your life ten times better... so i'll just let it go.
# 3
Originally Posted by: iihollyI know what you actually meant was make your life ten times better... so i'll just let it go.
HA! Yeah, sex is great, but women suck major ass. Sorry, babe, but your kind seem to run out after four or five hookups, and if they don't, they're SO much work that I have to get the hell out of Dodge. I think I'm gonna just be gay. I think the trade-off of gay sex for no nagging is almost worth it...
# 4
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollyson... I think I'm gonna just be gay. I think the trade-off of gay sex for no nagging is almost worth it...[font=trebuchet ms]LOL. My gay friends bitch about their partners as much as my straight friends do.[/font]
# 5
Originally Posted by: AkiraI'd rather have the nagging, I don't like the idea of someone invading my poopy space.
OK, it's official. I have the sense of humor of a 4-year-old child. When I read the "invading my poopy space" I swear to God I laughed for almost 5 minutes.
# 6
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonOK, it's official. I have the sense of humor of a 4-year-old child.
There are soooo many phrases that could go in place of "sense of humor" for Jolly. Hmm.... first one that comes to mind is "maturity level"...lol!
Hey, lets start a new thread called Jolly has the (insert phrase here) of a 4 year old. I'm sure there are plenty of people on this board that would enjoy that. :D
# 7
Do you allow someone to put your love rod in their poopy shoot though?(A girls!) :p
Try once,fail twice...
# 8

RESURRECTION TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
As a comedian once said: Having girls as a friend is like having $19 in the bank and looking at your ATM Card ... (for you Euros $20 is the minimum withdrawal at most ATMs)
STORY Time:
So me and my ex were getting kinda frisky and she threw me down and we start rasslin .... while removing our clothing ... not sure how it happened, but it did. So, we're throwing each other around and such, gettin' all frisky-isky and i pick her up and throw her over my shoulder onto the bed, and all you hear is "CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by a thud and an "ow" ...... when you look up, she had crashed her foot into my light fixture and torn it to shreds, then fell to the floor. Our friends in the other room came running in to find us half naked with her on the ground and glass shards EVERYWHERE. So I grabbed the vacuum, cleaned up the glass, then we agreed not to wrestly anymore that night. After all this, we still decided sex was on and the rest is .... well ... sex (Note, we saved the biggest shards and wrote our names on them for memories sake)
I've got more, but I'll save them for a later time
For the record: I'm 19, and I've been smitten with the burden of giving the beef to 7 different females to this point ..... with more on the way I'm sure.
As a comedian once said: Having girls as a friend is like having $19 in the bank and looking at your ATM Card ... (for you Euros $20 is the minimum withdrawal at most ATMs)
STORY Time:
So me and my ex were getting kinda frisky and she threw me down and we start rasslin .... while removing our clothing ... not sure how it happened, but it did. So, we're throwing each other around and such, gettin' all frisky-isky and i pick her up and throw her over my shoulder onto the bed, and all you hear is "CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by a thud and an "ow" ...... when you look up, she had crashed her foot into my light fixture and torn it to shreds, then fell to the floor. Our friends in the other room came running in to find us half naked with her on the ground and glass shards EVERYWHERE. So I grabbed the vacuum, cleaned up the glass, then we agreed not to wrestly anymore that night. After all this, we still decided sex was on and the rest is .... well ... sex (Note, we saved the biggest shards and wrote our names on them for memories sake)
I've got more, but I'll save them for a later time
For the record: I'm 19, and I've been smitten with the burden of giving the beef to 7 different females to this point ..... with more on the way I'm sure.
# 9
Originally Posted by: PRSplayaThere are soooo many phrases that could go in place of "sense of humor" for Jolly. Hmm.... first one that comes to mind is "maturity level"...lol!
Hey, lets start a new thread called Jolly has the (insert phrase here) of a 4 year old. I'm sure there are plenty of people on this board that would enjoy that. :D
hahaha, BRING IT ON!!! But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.
# 10
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollyson... But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.[font=tebuchet ms]I'm guessing a six year old Clydesdale stallion would give you some competition.[/font] :D
# 11
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonhahaha, BRING IT ON!!! But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.
Except on day's that end with y right :cool:
# 12
Originally Posted by: Lordathestrings[font=tebuchet ms]I'm guessing a six year old Clydesdale stallion would give you some competition.[/font] :D
Psh...Maybe if it we're NINE Clydesdale's put together!
# 13
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonPsh...Maybe if it were NINE Clydesdale's put together![font=trebuchet ms]End-to-end or side-by-each?[/font] :D
# 14

sorry to revert this thread back to an infantile playground for the sexually deprived but I would like to bring the whole science of penis size v guitar players into a new light.
Now as we have proven beyond doubt, the average male gt member(take that as you will) is at least 8inches, but to remove any scepticism about these outrageous discoveries I must ask, what of the female users? So far we have only discussed male genitalia so, could the dimentions of the females over the shoulder boulder holders reveal the one missing link between endowment and guitars?
While reading some of the earlier posts on this thread a little whisper echoed through mind, as I read more it became louder and clearer until words started to form and I realised what was being said, "song" it said to me "one inch" and it hit me, A song about a one inch penis man the grandest song to have ever been created, created from the depths of insanity. I shut up now.
"That one inch penis mannn, ya know he's doin the best can"
Sorry to destroy everyones good job of resurecting this thread but I dont know how to turn the voices off.
Now as we have proven beyond doubt, the average male gt member(take that as you will) is at least 8inches, but to remove any scepticism about these outrageous discoveries I must ask, what of the female users? So far we have only discussed male genitalia so, could the dimentions of the females over the shoulder boulder holders reveal the one missing link between endowment and guitars?
While reading some of the earlier posts on this thread a little whisper echoed through mind, as I read more it became louder and clearer until words started to form and I realised what was being said, "song" it said to me "one inch" and it hit me, A song about a one inch penis man the grandest song to have ever been created, created from the depths of insanity. I shut up now.
"That one inch penis mannn, ya know he's doin the best can"
Sorry to destroy everyones good job of resurecting this thread but I dont know how to turn the voices off.
# 15

Woman are a distraction?
"I'm good looking and have yay sized scwhanger"
we can see where this is all going!
u GUYS are trying to pick up other GUYS on a guitar forum????
i rest my case, go get a social life or do sumthin about it! and yes whoever posted last this is a very sad topic
i shudder at the thought of ever being addicited to this forum!
edit: thats funny the last page i was reading wasn't the last page so the last person to diss this post gets props from me. But its rite after the whole " i have yay sized .... etc "
"I'm good looking and have yay sized scwhanger"
we can see where this is all going!
u GUYS are trying to pick up other GUYS on a guitar forum????
i rest my case, go get a social life or do sumthin about it! and yes whoever posted last this is a very sad topic
i shudder at the thought of ever being addicited to this forum!
edit: thats funny the last page i was reading wasn't the last page so the last person to diss this post gets props from me. But its rite after the whole " i have yay sized .... etc "
real tyte bro \m/
# 16
Yeah,a guys 'size' has much more to do with bragging among your own sex than impressing any girls.
Try once,fail twice...
# 17
Never had a boob job...wait...I think I read that wrong...you mean getting silicon...oh.
Natural is best.Fake boobs are just too fake.
Natural is best.Fake boobs are just too fake.
Try once,fail twice...
# 18
Originally Posted by: PonyOneit really depends... anyway yeah this girl got implants, so, basically, she's this super-cute 5'1, 105-lb thing with no hips and a tiny chest with two really big breasts that don't seem bounce or jiggle right and are up too high. but she was exactly what you said, a 32AA (read: beestings). now she's a 32D, which looks... weird.[font=trebuchet ms]Weird? At least! That's not 'enhancement' - that's grotesque! :eek:
Part of the post-op recovery is the need for frequent massage to ensure that there's no buildup of rigid scar tissue. That sounds like a dream assignment, but it really makes you aware of how unnatural they feel. And, especially with gross over-compensation like your co-worker underwent, the breast can't support the extra bulk, and within a year or two, she'll need more surgery, because her breasts will look like beach balls with 1/3 of the air let out. That's just all-round sad. What a waste.[/font]
# 19
natural is definately better, I would much rather have a girl with a cute face and A cups than a girl with DD and a not so good looking face. actually I think smaller breasts look better on most girls, if they are really skinny and an overall small person than smaller breasts just fit better. and that's the kinda look I'm attracted too. now I wouldn't say no to someone like Brooke Burke either :p :p :p
# 20