Man that cucumber thing makes you look like you are walking around with a boner all the time. Use a tube sock... It gives it a longer flaccid look.

As far a sex pickup lines go... you guys all play guitars...you don't need pickup lines. It's a statistical hairbndrckr fact that 90% of the women in the first two rows of the venue you are playing want to be treated to the one eyed trouser monster, sock or not.... the other 10% want to have sex with you AND the chick next to her....

So why aren't you getting laid more people?

Also to make this thread the absolute longest thread in guitar tricks history... I see we haven't touched on sex in public places... what...you all scared?...

You know those glass elevators some of those large shopping malls and some hotels have? Stop one of those and hike up the ol ladys skirt in one of those... of course if there are passengers, ask if they wanna join in on the fun... :)