To whom ever it may concern.

For those that which to read this, go ahead just give me your answer and (or) your opinion. (yeah this is hard for me to put it on here for you guys to read.) but still..
Hey what’s up every one? I’m 21years and this is just partial or my life’s story as a kid.
Few months back (like 8months back) I haven’t been able to think clear, or a less have a clear mind. It seems like there is a big black cloud on top of my head, and it wouldn’t go away or something
I have been thinking a lot with my life and well to say the truth I think or maybe I need a councilor, not that I’m crazy or anything it just that, there are a few things I just don’t know how to deal with.
Funny, BUT IM SCARED, is this a natural filling? ….I just don’t know. I don’t know if it’s for me; make me wonder if it’s going to actually help me. I don’t want to go to some **** like that and not help me and feel like a fool.
Some of you are probably wondering, what are something’s that are troubling me. Well first of all, I haven’t told anyone about these things, not even my family. So please this is hard for me to type
(Makes me wonder why I’m doing this, o well)
It just wasn’t easy for me growing up as a kid. Ummmmm when I was around 10 years that’s when all my problems started. I was a Hispanic kid, so you can only imagine growing up and not knowing how to speak English and the teachers at school always treating you differently, putting you aside(taking you out of the class room), not even paying attention to you. Back then there were no ESL classes as today. I even tried making friends but it just didn’t matter how hard I tried, if they didn’t understand you what was the point of even trying, maybe because felt lonely, like an out cast. The only good thing at i enjoyed was watching cartoons by my self.
(Man, I’m feeling dizzy)
That was just school, the real problems were at my house. And to say the truth every time I think off it or when it just comes back me, it makes me laugh. Like one of those laughs that leaves you wondering, why did that happened to me?
Where should I start, with my parents? Ummmm, they were having marriage problems, my father was cheating on my mother, whom I saw him actually cheating and my father denied it all to my mother even after I saw him. So you could say I didn’t had much help with my parents, plus my father always use to beat me so (**** him), I don’t really truth my father to this date, I can’t even have a normal conversation with him. Also the other fact that he f****n left me stranded in the middle of some highway in the middle of night (I still want to know why he did that to me) and my older brother turning his back on me for nothing (F****). (Which I still remember the place) I was about 10 years.
Another thing that is messing me up with my manhood, this is probably one of the hardest things I’m going to say from me. I don’t know how to put it. In simple words --------- some retard sick moron, toke advantage over me (sexually), he was probably around 20 or more when I was just 10 years, damn I did know what to do, but still I knew it was wrong, only if I could go back and kick his ass. Another thing that really gets me going is that that his one of my family members…..oiashngoianlkgndsjf
An uncle………………………………..
So u can only imagine how much anger builds up in me and how mad I get when I see him, it just makes me sick. I know he remembers what happen, damn if I remember he should too. I feel every time he sees me he laughs from in side of him. I can’t do anything I just want to pound his face to the ground and keep beating him until I get tired even then ill keep going….. This is one of those things that is so fu…..n hard for me to get over especially when you keep seeing the people that, did you wrong….

I don’t know why I’m typing this, maybe because I just had to get it out. It’s been inside of me for 11 years and it feels like this happened yesterday. Maybe I do need some counseling what do you guys think.
I need a good response, please.
There are many other things, but I think this is enough for me (for one day).
So I guess I’m pretty mist up in my head. Only if I could get my head cleared and a few answers.
thats why i like music so much, that way i can express my self.

Hey dude, hang in there.

First up Im not a MD but a PhD so Im not a professional carer.

However we all go through the mill to greater or lesser extent.

Sounds like you have seen more of life than anyone your age should be expected to deal with and if you feel like you want some help, there is no shame in getting some counseling. The sooner you get your self sorted out the happier your life will be and the more able you will be to get on with making your self and those around you happy.

Best of luck man and don't be afraid to stop by the forum any time, there is usually someone around.

Going to a counselor does not mean that you are week!
I think it actually takes a stronger man to admit he needs help and to seek it. Everyone has problems are issues in their lives, and everyne deals with those issues differently. Counselors help you find ways to deal with the things going on in your life. I am very grateful for the rough life that I have had. All the trials and issues that I have had to face have only made me a stronger person.

I fully agree with the good Dr. I've had my fair share of problems in life, not quite like your's, but equally disturbing non the less. My biggest problem, and still is today, is not being able to talk about things. It's like there's a barrier between my thoughts and the rest of the world. 2 things that helped me were finding a friend that was able to work with me to get some of those horrible things out of my head and off my chest, and talking to a doctor about it who put me on antidepressants/anti anxiety meds. I would suggest doing some research on doctors in your area and finding one to talk to and help you sort things out. If nothing else, talk to a very close friend and let them know something's really bothering you, and it's hard to talk about. Hopefully they will be like my friend and be able to help you get it out, and be a good listener.

If you ever need to talk on a more personal level, feel free to send me an e-mail or catch me on msn messenger or AIM.

Take care buddy!

im 20, im hispanic, i grew up speaking english and didn't have to deal with your spanish speaking problems but my family is just as ****ed if not worse than yours. long story short, my father shot my mother and she still lived (while i was a child in her hands!!!). now you want to put problems to problems, i dunno how many people could live with that in their head and be able to talk about it. ofcourse more things happened but for the sake of this entry, i'll forego them. but hey we all have problems, and no one can really put what degree each one of us go through. its all relative to you and only you, with your problems being the reference point. you don't need a councelor, you need to help yourself.

if you can't figure it out, then no one else will figure it out for you.

Originally Posted by: joshersyou don't need a councelor, you need to help yourself.

if you can't figure it out, then no one else will figure it out for you.

I'm torn on that comment.....You can only help yourself, BUT, a counselor will show you how to help yourself. I believe your problem's are too overwhelming for you to handle on your own. Find a good therapist and let them help you help yourself, if that makes sense....

While I do have problem's myself, mostly Anxiety, I never had any trauma as a child, so I can't really give any advice other than to seek a therapist.

Originally Posted by: joshersyou don't need a councelor, you need to help yourself.

if you can't figure it out, then no one else will figure it out for you.

What works for some may not work for others. Seek counseling eddy, you're going to need some help.

the councelor isn't really solving the problems, if anything WE are acting as councelors for him right now, by listening.

I think it took a tremendous amount of courage to talk about your problems, I hope this is a beginning to you feeling better. Not to be a bible beater but I know years of depression, violence, and drug abuse are now behind me and taking Christ into my life has really helped me get past all of that, maybe teh church could be another avenue for your healing along with a counselor.

Keep Strong.

listening is the best thing someone can do. Councelors/therapist help you be able to talk about things you normally wouldn't be able to talk about. They don't try to "solve" you problems for you, they act as a guide. Here's an example: Say you go to a wildlife reserve where there are a lot of wild animals. They are all approachable, but only in a certain way. They are also scattered out all over the reserve and you don't know where to look for them. So, you hire a "guide" who helps show you how to get to the animals, and once you're there, helps you learn how to approach them. That's kind of how a councelor/therapist works.

[font=trebuchet ms]A couple things I learned along the way...

• Your problems are never too small to be worth the effort to deal with them. If something bothers you enough to be a problem, then it's big enough, and real enough, to do something about.
  



• You are not alone. The human race has a lot of people in it. Any trouble you have has been experienced by someone else, somewhere. You may have to look around a bit to find someone who can help you find a way to deal with a situation, but never doubt that such people exist.
  



• Counselling helps. There is work to be done, and they can't do it for you. But they can show you what you need to do, and they can help you to work out ways to get it done.
  



• You are only responsible for what you do. If people around you do bad things, that's because they made bad choices. That isn't your fault.
  



• Learn the meaning of the word "appropriate". Appropriate reactions to situations. Appropriate attitudes. That one word can help a lot with the choices that everyone has to make in life.
  



• Sometimes talking things over is not quite enough. Sometimes you need to find the right kind of medicine to give yourself enough inner peace to start making the right choices. Sometimes it takes a prescription and some counselling to get things rolling. If that's the way it is, go with it. Whatever it takes to get well is worthwhile.

[/font]

Hey EDDYG,
You and I may not have had the same exact problems growing up but I sure recognise the feelings you are describing now. I did'nt have a language barrier getting in my way, I had a shyness barrier. Not to mention that I was allways the tallest and skinnyest in my classes. So being the "strange looking one" at school made me the target of every bully and wise ass in the school. I definately felt like the outcast. I did'nt have any friends because noone wanted to hang out with a geek.And the teachers were no help they even stood by while two classmates hung me out of a third story window by my ankles. I had that dark cloud hanging over my head for years and even tried suicide when I was twelve.
I was a very smart kid, But that did'nt matter because I felt worthless. Then I realised at 13 yo that I could easily fit in with the stoners, All I had to do was drink beer and smoke some s**t and suddenly I was cool. I had "friends" to hang out with. So began 22 years of drug and alchahol addiction, Rehabs, Suicide attempts and Mental hospitals. All because I was depressed and noone bothered to take notice of it. I wish I had gone to a therapist when I was young. When I finally did go to one three years ago he showed me how to deal with all the crap that went on in my life when i was younger. (it was alot more than just being friendless) I realised that I had depression and that I was NOT crazy. depression is a disease and can be treated, Believe me I know.
You asked for opinions. Heres mine.
Give yourself a break and talk with a therapist and see what he/she has to say. It don't mean you are crazy or less of a man,(In fact I think it takes a real man to ask for help.)
Have faith that things will get better. If you need to talk privately Click my MSN link on my profile, OK?

It's good to share your problems with us. Just remember to always keep on talking, and never to keep stuff inside.

I have to thank you all for you advice and your consideration for taking your time for reading this.
I feel a bit more relax, its like finally getting through and being accepted
By whom I actually am from the inside and not by, some lame flame trying to be someone else (I’m talking about my self). Anyways everyone had some cool thing to say.
Thanks again to everyone. Well I’m off to find a shrink (therapist).

Take it easy Dude, hope it all works out !

Good Luck man and remember that you will get out if it what you put into it

Originally Posted by: joshersim 20, im hispanic, i grew up speaking english and didn't have to deal with your spanish speaking problems but my family is just as ****ed if not worse than yours. long story short, my father shot my mother and she still lived (while i was a child in her hands!!!). now you want to put problems to problems, i dunno how many people could live with that in their head and be able to talk about it. ofcourse more things happened but for the sake of this entry, i'll forego them. but hey we all have problems, and no one can really put what degree each one of us go through. its all relative to you and only you, with your problems being the reference point. you don't need a councelor, you need to help yourself.

if you can't figure it out, then no one else will figure it out for you.

I disagree with this 100% - sometimes it is helpful to have someone look at these situations from an objective position, and it is always helpful to have someone who you can tell it all to with no fear of repercussion or judgement, not to mention a professional therapist.

Seek help. It does not make you weak- burying these problems and emotions is dangerous, and talking it out is what helps you see it differently and release these feelings. Often emotional distress will be manifested in what are called psychosomatic illnesses- i.e., your mind makes you physically ill with no toxocoligical or physiological reason for doing so but every bit as real as if it were a physical illness.

I dunno man, I say get help, but if you need somebody to talk to- feel free to write. A'ight?

peace

I'm impressed with your command of the English language.
Memories are handy for helping us not to make the same mistakes,
Every moment I dwell in the past, is a moment i'm not looking to the future.
Tomorrow is coming for all of us.
As for talking to someone - you already have............

Originally Posted by: paradymeI disagree with this 100% - sometimes it is helpful to have someone look at these situations from an objective position, and it is always helpful to have someone who you can tell it all to with no fear of repercussion or judgement, not to mention a professional therapist.

Seek help. It does not make you weak- burying these problems and emotions is dangerous, and talking it out is what helps you see it differently and release these feelings. Often emotional distress will be manifested in what are called psychosomatic illnesses- i.e., your mind makes you physically ill with no toxocoligical or physiological reason for doing so but every bit as real as if it were a physical illness.

I dunno man, I say get help, but if you need somebody to talk to- feel free to write. A'ight?

peace

i do agree with the fact that you can disagree with me. by all means its ok, but the point im trying to get across is the fact that a therapist is a position that isn't really needed. therapy is all around you, you just have to find it. i think he was wise to come to this forum to try to explain whats in his head. its a good start. communication = key!

its all difference of opinion, and atleast in my opinion, he should get a full spectrum of ideas and thoughts, instead of the usual, visit someone who'll listen to your problems.

oh and by the way eddyg, i hope everything goes well with your decisions in the future. remember life is....(you fill in the blank).