Depression...

Depression.It f**** sucks.I just want to frigin die today...erghhh.It would feel so good to just destroy everything in my life right now...everything...just smash everything I own to pieces then grieve over it all... :(

Its days like these I wish my creator was incarnate so I could give him pain in equal parts of what I feel.......

Anyone have depression?

I have periodic bouts of very,very severe depression...the only thing that keeps me from killing myself immediatly is my family and fear of the unknown.I'm really only hanging on to life by those threads...

Just demolishing my possessions would be such a relief...to grieve over myself and cry very bitterly...it needs to get out of me.

Hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere today.Its genetic,not circumstantial....everything is actually ok in my life...my body just lacks certain chemical qualitys(at least thats what science has shown thus far).

Actually...no,things are not good in my life.I barley leave the house,I'm a mess physically(to my mind anyway),I have ZERO friends,no g.e.d,live month to month on SSI.I'm a LOSER to put it simply...ive been a loser my whole life.I'll be 20 in april with NOTHING accomplished...absolutley nothing.

I'm also really tempted to pick smoking back up again...I coped much better with nicotine a year ago.

Originally Posted by: chucklivesoninmyheartHit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere today.Its genetic,not circumstantial....everything is actually ok in my life...my body just lacks certain chemical qualitys(at least thats what science has shown thus far).

Actually...no,things are not good in my life.I barley leave the house,I'm a mess physically(to my mind anyway),I have ZERO friends,no g.e.d,live month to month on SSI.I'm a LOSER to put it simply...ive been a loser my whole life.I'll be 20 in april with NOTHING accomplished...absolutley nothing.

I'm also really tempted to pick smoking back up again...I coped much better with nicotine a year ago.

Hey man, for what it's worth, you aren't a loser. You may not yet have accomplished the things in life that you might feel you need to, but you aren't worthless. No one is. You're a historically signular entity- there's never been anyone precisely like you up to this point in history, and there will never be another, so on that basis, I would never consider someone to be a loser.

I can't pretend to understand how you feel directly, since I've never experienced long-term bouts of depression, but I will say this: no matter what your circumstances in life are, if someone tries to look down on you for any reason, they are wrong to do so. No one deserves to be judged by anyone else, and if someone tells you otherwise, I for one respectfully beg to differ with them. As another human being on this planet of ours, you have basic human dignity that should always be respected, and no matter what this superficial and materialistic culture tells you, you are not a loser.

I dunno, for me, sometimes the answer lies in picking up my guitar, smoking way too many cigarettes and letting it out. No matter how it sounds, I just let it out.

For something this serious, I always encourage professional help, and that doesn't make you weak or bad or whatever, it means that you understand that there are things in life that require the help of others to get past. I just hope you feel better.

peace

everyone deals with depression, to the degree and extent is purely dependent on yourself. can't really gauge your depression to the next person, same thing to happiness. only advice, ride it out, find something you like, do things that you like. everyone has up and downs, so you'll finally get out of your slump sooner or later, time and yourself will only tell.

it always helps to talk it out and advice will always be there to follow you, its your choice if you want to follow it or not.

I'm on zoloft and klonopin and see a psycyatrist regularly....

last time I went to a gym I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life(yeah,I'm slapped with anxiety/panic disorder too)...I don't leave the house very often.Unless I have to go out,I'm always inside.I know thats unhealthy...havn't figured a way around it.

Originally Posted by: chucklivesoninmyheartI'm on zoloft and klonopin and see a psycyatrist regularly....

last time I went to a gym I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life(yeah,I'm slapped with anxiety/panic disorder too)...I don't leave the house very often.Unless I have to go out,I'm always inside.I know thats unhealthy...havn't figured a way around it.

[font=trebuchet ms]Try to find some kind of low-impact, preferably outdoor physical activity. I'd recommend cross-country skiing, but Tampa just doesn't get enough snow. It helps to get something going that allows you to 'zone out' in a way that lets your grim attitude fade away. The main thing is to get out of the house!!!

Something one of my doctors (there have been many over the years) explained to me is that even the best medication and therapy can only help to keep you centered - you still have to do the work involved in making those social connections and 'getting a life'.

hmm... advice from the guy with over 3000 posts...[/font] :o

I really should find some good support(friends) around here...tough to do so when you never leave the house so,yeah thats my biggest problem.

And I really don't have time for this kind of crap...need to get going in life.I'm missing out on alot...

Thanks for all the advice...I think that 'wave' is gone.

Originally Posted by: Lordathestrings[font=trebuchet ms]
hmm... advice from the guy with over 3000 posts...[/font] :o

THAT was a moment of total genius!
:)

Excellent!

dance! :)

first off
my bro takes a buncha pills cus he is missen chemicals same with my dad
they walk around high all day so if you can get that stuff that would make you feel much better :p anyways
i have no social life either i go to a private school. it ant mixed
you arent supposed to fratrinize with women unless you plan on marrying them (and since my school is a highschool there will be none of that hehe)
so this will help you have a perspective of how bad others got it ok
i start my day at 6 45 AM on a bus thats not heated in Canada and i walk to my stop which is about 10 minutes away and its cold in the mornings k
we will even skip the day itself ok
i get home at 8 45 PM and walk home
if you do the math minus even the walks i am away at school for 14 hours AND my class is 9 people
and if you want me to describe my class o it gets worse
so hey at least you ant me!!!

dude i get all depressed all the time and i probably should take the pills my dad and bro take, and wen i get depressed i feel the same way, so just know whenever you are depressed
that, one, you ant alone cus you got ppl who have gone through it and have faith that you will make it through also(like me! i belive in you dude!)
And ,two, it always could be worse
you could be me....
seriously my life is pretty bad but my whole 'thing' is to sorta flip the coin and try the other side
o and wen it fails(the flipside that is) i hit the ground hard so hehe whatever man
sorry to hear about your depressen and remember my two easy tips to help ya out
1. we are all there for you dude!
2. you dont suck as much as me! and other worse-off people
its all good man :cool:
rock on! just get back up and ROCK ON!!!

I went through a serious bout of depression for about 4 years, and have just recently came out of it this past year. One thing to remember is that no matter how many drugs you take(legal) things are alway's going to go down hill at some point. Thats just life unfortunately. I've been off medication for about a year now and still have some pretty bad moment, but I've come to terms with the fact that that's going to happen, and try to find things to keep myself occupied. Having understanding friends also helps out a lot. If it weren't for them, I probably would have pulled the that trigger or jumped off that cliff. It's a scarry feeling when you have a gun to your head with finger on the trigger, and suddenly come to your senses. I also have anxiety dissorder, though I'm working on that. Joining my band has helped me be better at the whole being around people thing, because it's not like I could hide in a room off stage and play while the rest of the band is up there having all the fun. Remember, we're (GT community) alway's going to be here for you, and you can e-mail me anytime you want or need to talk about anything, and though hard to believe sometimes, God will never throw anything at you that you can't handle. ;)

CHuck, check your PM dude !

I am not sure what to say but I want you to know I relate. I also suffer from panic attacks and bouts of major depression. In fact I had a panic attack the other day that nearly lasted all day, I just kept getting waves of them... The people in my life all try to be supportive but I don't think they really understand. Most people are in the mindset of "well what made you feel bad or what are you paniced about".... It's not like that, it just is with no rhyme or reasonings ... you just get some overload of chemicals in your system and whamo...
I don't know what the answer is for you but some of the things that have helped me are: Being outside, especially around moving water, prayer (not going to preach here but when I feel nobody else understands, God will), Physical activity (I know you don't feel like getting up to even go to the bathroom sometimes but you gotta get up and move to release some of those good chemicals), watch your diet (sometimes not having a steady blood sugar level will cause havoc) and stick to as normal of a sleeping pattern as possible.... also, take your meds but keep in mind that is only part of the solution it's up to us to rebuild our lives when in "remission"...

*Big Hug*

Oh, write some music... sometimes depression makes for some killer lyrics

Originally Posted by: Lori_B.... also, take your meds but keep in mind that is only part of the solution it's up to us to rebuild our lives when in "remission"...

*Big Hug*

Oh, write some music... sometimes depression makes for some killer lyrics

[font=trebuchet ms]Nailed it in one!

I suspect there's a link between being an artistic type and susceptibility to depression. You can learn to turn that sullen intensity of emotion into a positive form of expression. The old lemons into lemonade thing.[/font]

Originally Posted by: Lordathestrings[font=trebuchet ms]
I suspect there's a link between being an artistic type and susceptibility to depression.[/font]

Either that or being that we are the "expressive" type we just let everyone know about it... I can't say I have ran across too many depressed mathmaticians tho.

I suffer from mild depression and Generalized Anxiety disorder, been taking Lexapro for about a year and a half, and Xanax for panic attacks when I need it, which is about every day. Dude, it'll get better although it seems like it won't right now. I've never gone into a deep depression, so I can't comment on that, but I would have if I hadn't seen a doctor about it and started treatment when I first realized what was going on. I have more anxiety problems than depression, I would lay in bed at night and couldn't go to sleep, then thought's would start running around in my head, and there were many times I thought I was having a heart attack b/c of the thought's and constant worrying....

Just take it one day at a time, it'll get better.

Originally Posted by: JFRICK been taking Lexapro for about a year and a half.

Lexapro made me feel 1000 times worse. I went through 5 different meds, and never found one that really worked very well. Paxil worked the best, but I had trouble staying awake during the day while on it :( . Now I'm trying to cope without meds, which is, and will probalby alway's be, a work in progress. One day/one thing at a time.

Hey mate just wanted to throw my 2 cents in, for what it`s worth.
I`ve suffered from severe depression for the last 12 years, brought on by kidney failure, also suffer with panic attacks, I`m fortunate enough to have a wonderfuuly understanding wife and 3 very beautiful kids, but sadly I`m not able to be a "real" dad, ie Pizzahut dinners, walks in the park even shopping, all these things are a no go for me, I`m lucky if i get out of the house once a fortnight.....and that`s period, it`s not something that comes and goes.
The guy who mentioned exercise or gym is soooooo right, you are, if only for a while, lifted out of the depression and feel "normal" again, another thing you might wanna try is meditation, stop fekking laughing lol, it does work.
All you gotta do man is find the things that make you happy and build on them, if you can discover the "trigger" to your depression then ya half way there.

Good luck man and think positive.

Thanks doc,and everyone for all the support.The bout is gone and I feel a bit better. :)

I'm surprised so many others have acute panic attacks and general anxiety.I also have Xanax for attacks that slip thru my 'klonopin and Zoloft' barrier

Panic attacks can be triggered by receptive senses and sudden awareness(certain smells and realizing your heart is beating fast e.c.t)
Your mind and body kicks into the 'fight or flight' syndrome which is meant for survival(if your being attacked by a bear or something),but when your just relaxing on the couch,it gets bad.

When its triggerd,your adrenal glands dump their load.Blood is rushed to your vital organs and muscles which causes tingling in your extremities.Lost perception of time(things go franticly fast but feel like forever).Faint feeling,tingling and racing heart beat are often mistaken as a heart attack or stroke.Feeling of imminent death are common.No one has EVER died from a panic attack(something I had to assure myself many times).

I was having roughly 10 full blown panic attacks daily till I got medication.Generalized anxiety is an even bigger struggle because meds will only do so much...you have to expose yourself to the enviroment you fear gradually,so it can be difficult.