I went through a serious bout of depression for about 4 years, and have just recently came out of it this past year. One thing to remember is that no matter how many drugs you take(legal) things are alway's going to go down hill at some point. Thats just life unfortunately. I've been off medication for about a year now and still have some pretty bad moment, but I've come to terms with the fact that that's going to happen, and try to find things to keep myself occupied. Having understanding friends also helps out a lot. If it weren't for them, I probably would have pulled the that trigger or jumped off that cliff. It's a scarry feeling when you have a gun to your head with finger on the trigger, and suddenly come to your senses. I also have anxiety dissorder, though I'm working on that. Joining my band has helped me be better at the whole being around people thing, because it's not like I could hide in a room off stage and play while the rest of the band is up there having all the fun. Remember, we're (GT community) alway's going to be here for you, and you can e-mail me anytime you want or need to talk about anything, and though hard to believe sometimes, God will never throw anything at you that you can't handle. ;)