The only time Jolly McJollyson has discussed his personal problems


Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/25/2006 4:28 am
Guitartricks community, today was spent admitting to people I know that I have a problem. Technically, my issue has sometimes been apparent on this board, so I feel I need to let you all know.

I have an anger problem, and I've been in denial for basically my whole life. I'm just getting it out there and letting you all know what's been going on with me. If at any time I seemed snappy to you, I was out of control, I probably didn't even mean what I said. While my anger issues don't excuse anything I may have done, they can help explain.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 1
R. Shackleferd
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R. Shackleferd
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10/25/2006 4:44 am
Hmmm...I'm not a super frequent browser of every corner of the forums, but I appreciate your frank bluntness and saracasm at times. I'll take your word for it if you say you've gone too far at times, but I think it's good to "ruffle some feathers" every now and then.
[FONT=Palatino Linotype]"Bust a nut!" - Dimebag
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Einstein
[/FONT]
# 2
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/25/2006 5:33 am
Originally Posted by: R. ShackleferdHmmm...I'm not a super frequent browser of every corner of the forums, but I appreciate your frank bluntness and saracasm at times. I'll take your word for it if you say you've gone too far at times, but I think it's good to "ruffle some feathers" every now and then.

Frankness, bluntness and sarcasm can all be good things, they're part of me and part of my sense of humor. However, when they (specifically sarcasm) are used as an outlet for anger it can be a little hurtful.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 3
HDJ
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HDJ
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10/25/2006 5:55 pm
I'll admit I've felt like you've "attacked" me in the past over some of my opinions. I would usually just ignore it though. :D

I have anger issues too related to my anxiety problems, but over time I've learned to control it. Been put on meds which I've mentioned in other post, but overall, the one thing that has helped me control my anger is to think rationally before I'd respond to whatever ticked me off....
Check out my band:
Havoc Din
# 4
earthman buck
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earthman buck
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10/25/2006 7:10 pm
I too enjoy your sarcasm at times, but I have to admit that when it's directed at me I feel like an idiot. I can deal with that sort of thing, but I don't know if others can. I think it's good you're putting it out there.
# 5
acapella
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acapella
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10/25/2006 7:13 pm
The thing with me is, I never held it against you because you were always right. The really weird thing is that just today I wrote about you in a Catcher in the Rye assignment we were doing. I compared you to Carl Luce and said basically that you're both impatient and intolerant of stupidity, and say really smart stuff. I'll show you if you want but that was basically it. Yeah, I still likes ya.
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
# 6
jiujitsu_jesus
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jiujitsu_jesus
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10/25/2006 7:46 pm
I admire you for having the courage to admit it to so many people. Well done, my friend. :)
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

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# 7
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/25/2006 8:07 pm
Originally Posted by: JFRICKthe one thing that has helped me control my anger is to think rationally before I'd respond to whatever ticked me off....[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'm aiming to do some cognitive restructuring, as is the technical term for a lot of that kind of thinking.

Originally Posted by: earthman buckI too enjoy your sarcasm at times, but I have to admit that when it's directed at me I feel like an idiot. I can deal with that sort of thing, but I don't know if others can. I think it's good you're putting it out there.[/QUOTE]
Exactly, that's the problem. Sarcasm is hilarious, but I need to use it in a dry sense, not directed towards someone in an agressive manner with the purpose of demeaning.

[QUOTE=acapella]The thing with me is, I never held it against you because you were always right. The really weird thing is that just today I wrote about you in a Catcher in the Rye assignment we were doing. I compared you to Carl Luce and said basically that you're both impatient and intolerant of stupidity, and say really smart stuff. I'll show you if you want but that was basically it. Yeah, I still likes ya.

That's really flattering, actually. I would like to see how you worked that into an assignment... Seems like it would be pretty difficult to do smoothly. But whether or not I'm right in my statements, it's the manner in which they're delivered that can hurt others. Not only that, but even when I don't lash out, the fact that I get very angry about mundane, ludicrous things is a problem that hurts me as well, by limiting my ability to function.

[QUOTE=jiujitsu_jesus]I admire you for having the courage to admit it to so many people. Well done, my friend.

Thanks for the support, but don't worry about admiration, haha. Honestly it was hard to admit it to myself. But I found it incredibly liberating to admit to others once I acknowledged its existence. I've never brought personal problems on to this board, just personally don't think it's an appropriate place. I tend to take up anything personal with people I know and can talk to face-to-face, because I think it's a matter of perspective. However, since at times I've been very passive aggressive and even snappy on the board, I figured you guys had enough perspective on the situation for me to say something about it.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 8
hunter60
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hunter60
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10/25/2006 11:53 pm
Honestly Jolly, I never really saw it as being mean-spirited or angry. I always thought it was more sarcasm delivered in a very, very dry way. I guess I never noticed it because I tend to do the same thing at times. But congratulations on being up front and open about a personal issue. It really is the first step to resolving it.

I sometimes wonder if we're not just a little too sensitive in this country and that's what leads to these sorts of things. I mean, we spend so much time trying to avoid offending people that eventually it just spills out into other areas and other ways.

Again, kudos to you. Outstanding on stepping up, seeing a potential issue and being willing to apologize. That's a very admirable thing to do. The only draw back is now I am going to spend the rest of the night sitting here wondering if I've offended anyone? :confused:
[FONT=Tahoma]"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan [/FONT]
# 9
ericthecableguy
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ericthecableguy
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10/26/2006 1:48 am
Originally Posted by: hunter60
I sometimes wonder if we're not just a little too sensitive in this country and that's what leads to these sorts of things. I mean, we spend so much time trying to avoid offending people that eventually it just spills out into other areas and other ways.
[/QUOTE]

Ha, was gonna quote this before i read pony's post...

That is one of the most sensible things I've heard in a long time. It sucks always having to watch what you say and be sensitive. You're supposed to feel bad when you say merry christmas to a muslim, you have to avoid certain issues around certain people...and ugh...like Hunter said it 'spills out into other areas and ways'.

Good job on the apology. It definately doesn't come off (I hope) in these boards...but I'm just like that. Sarcastic towards what I deem to be idiocy and getting burned for it. I've been confronted several times about...I guess I just feel that i refuse to act dumb for people like everyone else.

The time when ripping on things people say becomes negative is when people become too afraid to say anything for fear of being laughed at. It really bars creativity and whatnot.


*****Unrelated Point*****
[QUOTE=PonyOne]
I think that people confuse political correctness with politeness. You can refer to someone's ethnicity or culture or gender or whatever without being impolite or rude, and IMHO we should celebrate differences and not shy away rom the reality of them, and because of that, political correctness is by and large worthless. We should focus on being civil, not on being retarded.


Ya. But...ha you have to agree they did go a little far on the new Survivor, when they seperated the tribes by race. What am I supposed to do? Sit infront of my tv and yell "White Power!" or "Down witht the Chinese?"
It just seems funny to me.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

METOOB
# 10
elklandercc
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elklandercc
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10/26/2006 2:16 am
I've never seen you personally attack anyone, only (like everyone else) used sarcasm to correct people, which can be taken as an insult to some people.
"During this line, the kid acted like he was pushing buttons on a calculator in the air. The kid played ******* air-calculator!"

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# 11
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/26/2006 3:35 am
Originally Posted by: PonyOneNow, back to our regularly scheduled Jolly McJollyson... :)

My scheduling has been anything but regular as of late, haha. I pop in for the sporadic posting here and there, but recently haven't done much aside from making sure music theory doesn't get too out of line.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 12
aschleman
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aschleman
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10/27/2006 2:49 pm
I've never really felt like you've "attacked" me in anyway... But I see myself as more of a composed person... I generally don't take anything that anyone says to me in an opinionative discussion to heart if it contradicts my own beliefs... I realize that we have a lot of people on this forum, most of which are all familiar with each other enough to know what sense of humour (or lack there-of) they have. In most cases I'm sure your sarcasm has been taken as just that. Even when you've seemed to use it in a demeaning, or otherwise, way... But with a diverse group of individuals comes diverse personalities... all can't be as passive or apathetic as mine. It's nice to see that you have taken notice to that and have made a step forward!!

In the future however, if I ask for criticizm... or mention something that contradicts your beliefs, I give you permission to use whatever outlet you must to convey your message. I'm not a Sensitive-Sally... and I don't get upset at most things. But I think we're alike in the way that ignorance is one our biggest pet-peeves.
# 13
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/27/2006 2:53 pm
Originally Posted by: aschlemanIn the future however, if I ask for criticizm... or mention something that contradicts your beliefs, I give you permission to use whatever outlet you must to convey your message. I'm not a Sensitive-Sally... and I don't get upset at most things. But I think we're alike in the way that ignorance is one our biggest pet-peeves.

Yeah, my problem isn't necessarily that I lash out. I just get angry at nearly every minor inconvenience I face, and lose the ability to deal with problems logically do to anger.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 14
earthman buck
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earthman buck
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10/27/2006 8:39 pm
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonYeah, my problem isn't necessarily that I lash out. I just get angry at nearly every minor inconvenience I face, and lose the ability to deal with problems logically do to anger.

Well frick, son, if you find a cure for that, you let me know. I also get angry at slight inconveniences, but I lash out. Every time I'm changing strings on my guitar, for example, I'm pretty much guaranteed to break something out of frustration. One time I punched a hole in my wall. When I changed strings just last week, I slammed my fist on my desk so hard I'm pretty sure I nearly broke my hand. I don't know why, but changing strings just gets me super-pissed at everything.
# 15
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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10/28/2006 6:04 pm
Originally Posted by: earthman buckWell frick, son, if you find a cure for that, you let me know. I also get angry at slight inconveniences, but I lash out. Every time I'm changing strings on my guitar, for example, I'm pretty much guaranteed to break something out of frustration. One time I punched a hole in my wall. When I changed strings just last week, I slammed my fist on my desk so hard I'm pretty sure I nearly broke my hand. I don't know why, but changing strings just gets me super-pissed at everything.

There is indeed a cure, it's called cognitive restructuring. I love the glorified name; they should just be honest and call it "changing the way you think." Guess that sounds harder than if they tell you it's a new-fangled technique called "cognitive restructuring."

http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 16
PRSplaya
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PRSplaya
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10/29/2006 6:49 pm
Originally Posted by: PonyOneI used to be really angry, very quick to yell at people, berate, threaten, etc., and had a friend who'd had the same problem; he has a good decade on me, and I listened to his advice: just take two seconds before you react, before you say anything. Just give yourself a couple seconds to ask yourself if there's really any point in being angry, pissed off, flippant, sarcastic, snotty, etc in the situation you're in. I guess part of it for me was that I went through the earlier part of my currently-brief life just not really talking to other people if at all possible, and then only really started being outgoing when i felt threatened (which was mainly a result of my introversion). So the only time I really dealt with other people unless I really had to was when I wanted to make it clear I was not someone to mess with.

I think that people confuse political correctness with politeness. You can refer to someone's ethnicity or culture or gender or whatever without being impolite or rude, and IMHO we should celebrate differences and not shy away rom the reality of them, and because of that, political correctness is by and large worthless. We should focus on being civil, not on being retarded.

I have never agreed with you more about anything! I too tend to be very introverted, unless provoked. However, I tend to lash out in a hurtful way without thinking about what I'm saying. I've hurt and offended a lot of people because of this. Taking a few seconds to think about what you're going to say is one of the hardest things to do for me, but I try. I get stressed out very easily, and during that time is when I'm most likely to go way overboard. I also apologize if I have ever offended anyone on here. It was definitely not my intention. :o
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>HERE'S WHERE I AM NOW<
# 17
z0s0_jp
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z0s0_jp
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10/29/2006 6:53 pm
i like it...it gives you a John Lydon quality ;)
"Dammit Jim!! I'm a guitarist not a roadie...so haul my gear"
# 18

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