The *Official* Music Related Joke Thread

How many bluegrass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

:D Four-One to screw it in and three to complain about it being electric :D

Now post people!!!!!1

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

:p A flat miner!

What do you get when you throw a piano into an army base?

:p A flat major!

How many Lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?



Answer: Only one, the guitarist holds the light bulb and the earth revolves around him.

I'm pretty sure I posted these in some other joke thread, but I think they warrant a comeback.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

>None, they prefer to cry in the dark.<

How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

>Twenty; one to screw it in and 19 to tell him what a sellout he is.<

It's funny because it's true.

Originally Posted by: earthman buckI'm pretty sure I posted these in some other joke thread, but I think they warrant a comeback.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

>None, they prefer to cry in the dark.<

How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

>Twenty; one to screw it in and 19 to tell him what a sellout he is.<

It's funny because it's true.

Haha that's good!

I see this around myspace a lot...

I wish my grass was emo so It'd cut itself.

How do you make a bassist to play more quiet?
Put a note paper in front of him...

How do you make him play even more quiet?
Write notes on the paper...

No offense, bassists, it is yust a joke. Or is it? :D

what similarities does coffee share with Ginger Baker?
They both suck without cream


and...how do you know if someone is the lead singer in a band?
He'll tell you, he'll tell you

and one I'm sure I've posted here before:

Someone is knocking on your door, how do you know its your drummer?
the knocking speeds up and he forgets to come in

This would be better if you could see it, but I will try anyhow.
Dude walks in the pub, nice pub, a guy playing keyboard, few couples around and so.The guy is slow, you know, below average inteligence. Far below. he orders a coke and goes to the toilet. Bartender, knowing him from before, decides to play a joke on him. The guy comes back and the bartender says:
Dude, while you were away, someone put a d*** in ypur coke. Seriously? Yeah! Well, who? I dont know, says the bartender, ask people around.
So the guy walks around and asks people, like, do you know who put his d*** in my coke? everybody says no and laughs at him. So, finaly, he comes to this guy playing keyboard. He asks him, dude, do you know who put his d*** in my coke? And the guy answers, of course! Strikes a f major and starts;
Who put his d*** in my coke... la-la-la... :D

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




Answere -4 , 1 to screw the lightbulb in while the other 3 say they can do a better job :D

Well, when you work 15 hours per day, you are bound to have some time off...

Okay, so, these two sharks are talking. First one asks the other, what did you have for breakfast? Oh, it was a nice breakfast. I had a big, heavy, fat, retired german, it was so greasy, fat and soft. And you? Oh, I had a musician.
What, a musician? But they are so skinny and weak, no meat on their bones!
Yeah, but you should see the size of their livers!!! :D :D

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

>5... 1 to screw it in while the other 4 discuss how Neal Pert would have done it better<

What does it mean if a drummer is drooling outta both sides of his mouth??

The Stage is perfectly level

Q: How do you know when your lead singer is at the door?

> A: You don't. She can't find the key and doesn't know where to come in. <

:p

Q: What's the definition of a polite southern gentleman?

> A: Someone who knows how to play the banjo, but won't. <

:p

There's a scientist researching something in deepest, darkest Africa. He's been accepted by the native tribe he's studying and every night he talks to the chief about things. One night he asks him, "Chief, every day and night that I've been here I can hear drums in the distance. They never stop. What does it mean? Is there a war somewhere?" The chief replies, "Drums good! Not war. When drums stop--very bad!" The scientist presses him for more details, "What happens when the drums stop, Chief?" But the chief is so upset by his question that he can't get an answer. This makes him a bit nervous, but he lets it go.

After living with them for two weeks the drums have still been going constantly and he still doesn't know what it means or what bad thing happens when they stop. So one night he goes back to the chief determined to get an answer. He just sits down to ask when all of a sudden there's silence. The drums have stopped! He looks at the chief and his face is a mask of horror. The scientist is totally freaked out and he demands, "What now, Chief? What's happening?!" The chief swallows and looks at him, face pale. "Oh, no," he moans, "This very bad! When drums stop, then bass solo starts!"

What do you call someone that hangs out with musicians?


:D


A drummer...

What do you call the smartest drummer in the world?

>Mildly retarded.<

What are the three most difficult years in a bass player's life?

>Second grade.<

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?

>Drool.<

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

>One. Five. One. Five.<

What's the difference between a Bassist and a rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?

>One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.<

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"



Ah. Take that, rhythm section.

Originally Posted by: The AceWhat do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

:p A flat miner!

What do you get when you throw a piano into an army base?

:p A flat major!

My music theory teacher told us both those jokes today. Random thought. I don't have any jokes. It was weird though, because no one got it at first and we're all music ed majors.

[QUOTE=Mark Pav]Q: How do you know when your lead singer is at the door?

> A: You don't. She can't find the key and doesn't know where to come in. <

:p

QUOTE]

Of course it had to be a girl lead singer. :mad:

What does Drum really mean?

>Doesn't Really Understand Music<

Whats Black Blue and lying in a ditch?

>A drummer who told too many guitarist jokes!<

Right before a Gig, the lead singer goes backstage and see the Guitarist and the Bassist fighting with each other. The Singer pulls them apart, calms every one down and asks "Why are you too fighting?"
The bassist replies "The guitarist detuned one of my strings!"
Singer: "So? just tuned back up"
Bassist: "The Bastard won't tell me which string!"

Originally Posted by: iihollyOf course it had to be a girl lead singer. :mad:

it's not about whether it's a guy or girl..... singers in general really just don't know when to come in!!!