i have a drinking problem

i agree.. we all shall have ice tea and mashed potatoes to mark my celebration...

there best be some good gravy on top of those potatos. :p

it's 20.48 here, I'm having dinner, consists off fries, vegetable mix and beef, didn't know I could cook this good :D

think I'm gonna have caramel liquor with milk with it, really nice if you don't drink more then 2 glasses, otherwise you get sick

so how are you doing jeffhx? still having in there matey?

ok so i had arnd 3 drinks last night..just to pass time...but i swear that was it...totally in a controlled situation...i was drinking in moderation...i guess ive gotta start somewhere..

drinking to pass the time? were you alone? or in company?

I'm gonna be straight forward with ya, at this moment I feel really f****d, why? because about a month ago my girl dumped me after 2,5 years, to explain how that felt like.. we had plans to start living together, and in the long run getting married, have children etc. so you can guess.. right now I feel frickin' lonely and I have a big urge to grasp for some beer or anything stronger to pass time and make me feel good for a short while, she was my life, I didn't have that many friends or hobbies beside her because I gave everything to her (I know, really stupid, don't even be that kind/dumb even if you think the person deserves it), so what I'm doing right now is to give myself 100% for anything in reach, try not to be lonely, it screws with your mind and before you know it, you're down on the bottom of the pit where you came from

why am I telling this? well first of all I needed it off my chest ;) second, I think it applies to every situation, if you feel bad go hang out with some friends or find a hobby which costs you quite an effort and gives you results which in the end make you feel even better

Cheers!

Originally Posted by: Andrew Sadrinking to pass the time? were you alone? or in company?

was alone and bored...and i was waiting to fall asleep

psy dude...that blows...breakups are the shiznits...2.5 years is a pretty long time...how did she feel? what was her reasoning? so maybe u made a mistake by giving too much to her...well ppl learn from their mistakes...i certainly learnt that...now i cant be bothered to do much for a girl...maybe im lazier this time around but who knows, subconsciously im not doing it cos its not worth it...maybe next time when we have a secure job or something when we can feel comfortable in leading a married life then maybe...cos it depends on the girl as well...if ur happy and shes happy...that's all there is to it...right now for the moment im just focused on my studies and hoping i dont screw up...in my previous relationship, i got too distracted with her and i eff'd up my studies big time...it didnt hit me as to howserious it was until i received and showed my parents my so called 'results'... the minute they say em they gave me the silent treatment...i just hated that..so im afraid that the same thing might happen again..whichreally shudnt had been a problem..it could also be i was a pain and i just had so much fun i didn gave a hoot about anything else but fun...but yeah...its a pain being in a relationship..u get its goods and its bads...

firstly, Psy dude, thats tough...I'm sorry brother.

next Jeff bro, if you think you have solved this problem because you only had a few drinks then you are mistaken.
Drinking alone is a clear cut sign of alcaholism. Alcahol is a social drug/stimulant and any use of alcahol in private, like you did, as far as I'm concerned shows an addiction.
Yeah, if you are at home, a beer as you watch sport on the tv is not too bad, but three drinks by yourself to pass the time?

it may be an improvement man...and fair play to you for it...but this still has a long way to go.

hehe, I do that as well sometimes, helps me sleep

about your story, for some part, same here, really screwed up my studies, now I'm fighting to get it on the right track again, got internship next year and chances are 50-50 I'm gonna make it before that

well I gave everything for her, if I said I needed time to study she got mad and said I didn't take time for her or that I could've studied in my own free time and that it's obvious I didn't care for her since I didn't study in my free time (sorry for that but I'm sane enough to realise you really need time for yourself otherwise things will go bad real fast)
and when I took time for her and screwed up my study she got mad and started yelling that I couldn't take care of her in the future if I didn't finish my study etc. etc.
offcourse I didn't do everything for her, I had my dignity, but I did a lot if she became happy because of it, or so I thought..

how did she feel and her reasoning? well, she said couldn't become happy while being with me, I made her feel insecure, I was the cause that she didn't take care of herself more, in short everything was my fault, she never did anything wrong and she was always right (and that's coming from a girl that thinks that all the stars in the universe are planets and even I can't convince her it's not, astronomy is quite a hobby is mine, on the chemical level)

I can say one thing, it was hopeless, there was one problem: communication, which she lacked, resulting in me getting the blame for everything, I'm selfish, I can't communicate, i'm hopeless and she even said that I had to change a whole lot if I ever wanted to become happy with a girl

everyone's saying the same thing, glad she's gone out of your life, well I'm partly glad but part of me knows that if she opens up to me I can make her understand that you gotta live with a broader perspective in order to understand things and interpret it the way it's meant, but chances are slim she ever will

I'm not gonna change myself because some girl can't handle it, I will be more cauteous but I won't deny my emotions or my will, if I want to make her happy at the cost of my own, I will, because it's my gift to give and my choice to make, I realise that I'll be hurt a lot more times but if that's what it takes to keep to myself it's a price I'm willing to pay

Originally Posted by: Andrew SaDrinking alone is a clear cut sign of alcoholism. Alcohol is a social drug/stimulant and any use of alcohol in private, like you did, as far as I'm concerned shows an addiction.

I disagree. If none of your friends drink and the local bar sucks or if you're underage drinking alone isn't a sign of anything.

Originally Posted by: GuitarPsy
I'm not gonna change myself because some girl can't handle it, I will be more cauteous but I won't deny my emotions or my will, if I want to make her happy at the cost of my own, I will, because it's my gift to give and my choice to make, I realise that I'll be hurt a lot more times but if that's what it takes to keep to myself it's a price I'm willing to pay

Good for you, mate. :) If she's not happy with you when you're being yourself, she's not the right one.

Originally Posted by: GuitarPsy
I'm not gonna change myself because some girl can't handle it, I will be more cauteous but I won't deny my emotions or my will, if I want to make her happy at the cost of my own, I will, because it's my gift to give and my choice to make, I realise that I'll be hurt a lot more times but if that's what it takes to keep to myself it's a price I'm willing to pay

Finally! Someone I can relate to. You're you. You've been you all your life, and because some broad wants you to change that, you know better.
I've got a friend who changes for girls, and I expose him to himself every time and make him realize how much of a dink he's being.
Then again-I could be totally wrong about everything....

Wow, every time you think you have problems, you read some stories like these. I can't believe how young and inexperienced I feel right now. I better enjoy this feeling while it lasts! It just goes to show you you never really know a person, huh? That's one reason I love this place so much, it's like I know you...people are so open on here, and supportive, it's amazing. I wish I had some physically present friends like that. Okay, acapella, enough of the emo stuff. Alright...one more hug for everyone.

fair enough..andrew has a good point...but also ud need to consider the average amt that i take..ok guilty..so maybe i found it alot tougher than i thought it would to completely just stop..but i am cutting down...whether or not its effective i dont really have a clue...but maybe this is just the way im handling it..hmm..makes me think...im still at the stage where when i start i can hardly stop..theres no such thing as a 'only one drink' thing for me...but now i am aware of my drinking and i keep it watched...when i start to feel a little effed up or any sign that shows a possibility to effing up, i'd stop...not that i have been testing this since i declared i have a drinking problem...cos its too short of a notice... but yeah i feel much better of a person..at least i dont go to school with a terrible hangover or still feeling high anymore..thats an achievement to me no matter how subtle it is...i wud definitely hope that things wud return like the days where i drink during social functions....but i dont think that will happen anytime soon...maybe ppl wud say that 'hey, try to do something else to get ur mind off it'...but for me its a really tough thing to do...its pretty much like smoking cigarettes...im addicted to it now and whenever i have nth to do..i smoke even more...i try to think of other stuff but really..even the process of thinking of doing other stuff makes me wanna smoke..lol...i guess im fortunate that i havent reached the point where i might be totally hooked on it and that i rely on alcohol to actually live...all i can probably say now is that im trying here... and so far there has been a tinge of improvement...that i am satisfied of...and i hope it wud progress even more...maybe slowly but gradually...i guess its just the reason that i have shifted from overseas to australia where alcohol is so damn cheap...so i drink more...smoking now is bad enough its costing me heaps...and i wud appreciate it if alcohol doesnt do the same to me...worst...the more i drink...the more id smoke...im pretty determined to stop drinking before it gets too late cos i reckon im that kinda person that wud get addicted to stuff like these really fast...thank god there'sno drugs arnd me all the time...i can only imagine if i was a junkie for all...id be sleepingby the streets and not be talking to u fabulous ppl right now...i feel grateful for all ur support really to be honest...as ive said before ive never felt so engaged and related to everyone in this forum...it tells me that ppl care...altho we've never met each other before..but it gives me that nudge saying 'hey, ure doing something wrong...work on it' feeling...it feels great... i agree with u acapella...maybe its because of that or its just the fact that i have nth better to do with my life..but i wudn agree with that..its just how some ppl see it..the way i see it... this is an amazing place to hangout and talk abt problems or just abt anything..we here have amazing guitarists...that are way better than i can imagine myself to be...i learnt heaps here...honestly...being in australia ive suffered cultural shocks, the differences...coming from an asian background and before this never had left the country...im really grateful..all i can say is.. thank you guys..thank you...:)

Originally Posted by: Server Message You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to jeffhx again

Blast...

Jeff, I don't know what to say. The way you can speak about yourself so openly like this is inspirational - I mean that. I sincerely admire you. :)

In contrast to what I said before...well done Jeff! if you are noticing a change and consider it an improvement, then that is a start to solving the problem. Perhaps we could look at your three drinks the other night another way...you started drinking that night, and were able to willingly stop before you got hammered! that must show shome self control right?

I still reckon that the way to do it is not to have any alcahol in your fridge at home at all.

anyway dude, I see you are not from Austrailia originally? where are you from?

probably ishudn have anything inthe fridge in the first place yeah thts probably a start...im originally from malaysia and have only been in australia for abt a year..

Originally Posted by: ericthecableguyFinally! Someone I can relate to. You're you. You've been you all your life, and because some broad wants you to change that, you know better.
I've got a friend who changes for girls, and I expose him to himself every time and make him realize how much of a dink he's being.
Then again-I could be totally wrong about everything....

Since we're all being really honest about everything, why not, I couldn't always be completely me in the relationship. I got a form of Autism(look it up if you wanna understand ;)) which also gives me problems in social life, and whenever the pressure was too high my mind went shut, since she often forced me to say something because she wanted an answer right away I rarely could tell what I really felt or thought since my mind was clouded, if I was given time to give things a rest I could really clearly explain everything though.
she never understood it and also didn't show appreciation when I was myself. She couldn't handle with me having Autism, she often said 'you're normal, there's nothing wrong with you, stop saying that s**t', well.. the facts were clear I did have it and living with someone who can't accept it is not a good proces to learn to deal with it, I can honestly say that no one in my environment even has the slightest idea that I have Autism, and that is a compliment I often get when I do tell people this. Fear ruled my ex-girlfriend's life and I feel sorry for her, unfortunately I've come to accept that I can't help her anymore, especially since I've managed to overcome my own fears.

but after reading the story of PonyOne, I haven't got anything to say about my own problems really, how did you manage after the breakup? respect that you got out of there allright, always bear in mind 'it's for the best'.

respect for jeffhx indeed, same as ericthecableguy someone I can relate to, compared to being open about personal issues. It's a sign that you're beginning to accept your own demons, now deal with them!

well for me my guitars and music are my girlfriend for now..they dont complain, they keep me company..they dont require atention..they make incredible sounds..i reckon..wat more would u ask for? lol..im an introvert myself..always have been and always will be...maybe more to egoistic issues...but of course i have my fair share of problems in life..i get depresed from time to time when things dont go the wayi'd expect it to...then ill start writing (which i love to do)..i love to write alot poetry...and i do photography as its the best way i can express myself i feel...with the help of alcohol it boosts inspiration and imaginations...

cud we be just sad people? coud we be ppl that really have nosocial life? lol...nah i refuse to believe so..its just a past time as maybe most of us are pretty through with our social lives in the past and have become more isolated... thats how i percieve myself at least...alatho i make songs that make ppl suffer dearly due to my horrible voice but i get anintense amount of satisfaction..i try to write great lyrics but its not as easy..maybe it takes time.. but yeah most of the time alcohol makes me think and write more..it sucks cos my guitar skills suck big time as well as my vocals...but i never really cared...its just the matter of expressing myself...ppl wud probably hate what ive done but i dont care...i might be making a fool out of myself but hey..i feel much better as a person...at least im no pop musician that does it for the sake of fame and fortune..tho im not saying all pop stars do that but the majority...perhaps...hardly anyone writes their own songs now in the music world...in the past we wud have heaps..complicated...hmm..i dont even know what to think anymore..

Originally Posted by: jeffhxcud we be just sad people? coud we be ppl that really have nosocial life? lol...nah i refuse to believe so..its just a past time as maybe most of us are pretty through with our social lives in the past and have become more isolated

I have a totally unsocial life. The only place I ever see people is at school. Once I graduate and go off to live on my own, no one's gonna know I even exist. It's the sad truth. I would go out and spend time with people more often, but to be honest, I don't really like most people, and they don't like me. So I figure, why bother? GT is an exception. I like everyone here a lot. That probably has something to do with the fact that it's all on the internet, though. Anyone can be friendly on the web.