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GuitarPsy
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Joined: 10/19/04
Posts: 511
GuitarPsy
Full Access
Joined: 10/19/04
Posts: 511
04/30/2006 11:04 pm
hehe, I do that as well sometimes, helps me sleep

about your story, for some part, same here, really screwed up my studies, now I'm fighting to get it on the right track again, got internship next year and chances are 50-50 I'm gonna make it before that

well I gave everything for her, if I said I needed time to study she got mad and said I didn't take time for her or that I could've studied in my own free time and that it's obvious I didn't care for her since I didn't study in my free time (sorry for that but I'm sane enough to realise you really need time for yourself otherwise things will go bad real fast)
and when I took time for her and screwed up my study she got mad and started yelling that I couldn't take care of her in the future if I didn't finish my study etc. etc.
offcourse I didn't do everything for her, I had my dignity, but I did a lot if she became happy because of it, or so I thought..

how did she feel and her reasoning? well, she said couldn't become happy while being with me, I made her feel insecure, I was the cause that she didn't take care of herself more, in short everything was my fault, she never did anything wrong and she was always right (and that's coming from a girl that thinks that all the stars in the universe are planets and even I can't convince her it's not, astronomy is quite a hobby is mine, on the chemical level)

I can say one thing, it was hopeless, there was one problem: communication, which she lacked, resulting in me getting the blame for everything, I'm selfish, I can't communicate, i'm hopeless and she even said that I had to change a whole lot if I ever wanted to become happy with a girl

everyone's saying the same thing, glad she's gone out of your life, well I'm partly glad but part of me knows that if she opens up to me I can make her understand that you gotta live with a broader perspective in order to understand things and interpret it the way it's meant, but chances are slim she ever will

I'm not gonna change myself because some girl can't handle it, I will be more cauteous but I won't deny my emotions or my will, if I want to make her happy at the cost of my own, I will, because it's my gift to give and my choice to make, I realise that I'll be hurt a lot more times but if that's what it takes to keep to myself it's a price I'm willing to pay
= good music is good drinking =