scary realization

Kinda freaked and need advice.

So I'm driving my dad (age 87) to the store today & right in the middle of talking to me he goes "wait a minute..."
I look over and his head is down in his chest...
I'm kinda freaking asking what's going on etc.
Anyways, he lifts his head acting really weird and says he just had a blackout.

My mom is constantly having dizzy spells and can barely walk.

Basically, both of them are entering the ends of their lives and I'm kinda freaked.
I still think of their deaths as coming 20 years from now, but after this morning, the scary realization is hitting me that the death of one or both of them could happen at any time.
I got no clue what to do if one or both of them suddenly dies...

Any advice?

if there is anything you ever wanted to ask/tell them, or they never told you, now is the time. u dont want no regrets 4 not knowing something only they could tell u

thats just wat i would do.. i guess i really wouldnt know until its my situation.

I don't think there is anything out there that can prepare you for the loss of a parent.

I lost my mother when I was 26 and she was only 52. She had been battling cancer on and off for six years... so we knew her death was coming. Didn't make it any easier.

The only advice I have to give - is enjoy every moment - even the things they do that annoy you now. Because you will treasure those memories the most once they are gone.

I can kinda understand. I have older parents, both with health issues so I think I know what you mean. You can never prepare for the loss of someone you love. Never. Like Tonja said, just dig every moment with them and make sure you tell them all those things you've meant to say or haven't said enough. Even if the situation doesn't happen for another twenty years, it'll make those twenty years all the better. It's something that I've been trying to do as well.

I guess realizing that they're at the age where they could go at any moment is the first step. Once you get yourself used to the idea, it'll be less of a shock when it does happen.

Like Tonja said, there's nothing that can really prepare you for the death of a parent. I lost my mother when I was 18. It was an extremely sudden and unexpected death. I'm out hunting one evening, and when I get back to my truck, I've got like 20 missed calls from people trying to get ahold of me... Next thing I know, we're hauling ass up to Memphis because my mother was having heart problems... get to Memphis, find out she has 99% blockage in one of her arteries, they decide to put a stint in to open it up, everything went fine, but then all of a sudden her body rejected the stint, went into cardiac arrest, and then died... just like that *snaps fingers*.

It was (and still is at times) very hard to deal with, being so sudden and all. I'm just glad that she didn't have to suffer long before the Lord took her home... and I'll leave it at that.

Just know that we're here for ya big guy, and that you're not alone in what you're going through.

anybody know what steps you're supposed to take?
I mean if anybody here has been through this, who do you call.. what do you do? etc etc.. I mean physically who to call, what to do etc..

I guess this morning kinda shocked me into realizing that either one or both of them could suddenly drop dead. (I've been kinda anticipating my mothers death because of her health recently, but my dad is a total shock. I'm suddenly realizing he's lost a lot of weight recently and doesn't remember one day to the next).
I suddenly realize that the last words he said to me might have been "wait a second".

I guess this is one of them things you can only find out by doing. Funeral arrangements, cancelling credit cards and pension.. holy crap man

Ya, Im 21, and my parents are 55 and 60. I don't even like thinking about when "that time" comes. In reality, they can go at any moment even now, and its scary to think about everything that Id have to do.

Actually, most funeral homes will have what they call a "planner", that has everything that would need to be done in a check list folder. Having gone through it there is a lot of gov't bs that has to be dealt with (especially if they are collecting pensions or have RRSPs etc), and I found the planner quite helpful. It would be good to keep track of all the important documents... will, deed to homes, property, safety deposit box keys, where all their bank accounts are etc, and usually there is a place to record this stuff in the planner.

If you know where they want to be buried when they pass on, I would start there. Now Funeral homes are a business just like anything else, so they will probably try to sell you a package of somesort... which is easier to think rationally about why they are still here. My mother knew what she wanted, and where she wanted to be buried - so I just followed her wishes. She even wrote her own obituary, if you can beleive that.. lol

I know it can be hard to try and think of these things now, but its twice as hard to think about it after they are gone.