Twilight Terror

Twilight Terror
Raven Xalus

Demons days a sour mind
Is plotting our downfall behind our backs
I know this because Satan told me
He is gonna drain us in fear

The rennaisance of space draws near
The end of existence is nearing now
Across the horizon the sun dissapears
Never to come back again to sound the signal
And foreign eyes are watching our every move

It's twilight terror as night sinks in
And foreign animals from Hell take root
And one said to me
Your time is running out mortal fool

Time is up and the flood is near
We're waiting for our death
Who will save us from certain doom?
This is the final test

I'm working on these a bit, there a little weird sounding im working on a new version HOPE U LIKE IT :D

okay heres the new version of the song LOL that one just sucked up there!

Twilight Terror (New Version)
Raven Xalus

Terror strikes through the midnight skies
The angels burn while I reach for this hope

Now wrecking havoc the firey doom that I foresaw
This is twilight terror and it's forever that we moan

The dead angels fall from the fire lit sky
They die forever while I watch the battle rage

I look back as this battle rages inside me
I'm a torturer to myself cause I'm my own enemy

All the ashes of the dead are snowing
The reaper is working hard to relieve the agony
I know why this is hard to overcome
How much I hate myself, just set me free!

The dead angels fall from the fire lit sky
They burn forever its terror fire they burn in their own hate

I watch the northern lights shine
On the wings of devils and angels

Flying for their life
Fighting for their final breath

I look back as this battle rages in the skies above me
I'm a torturer to myself cause I'm my own enemy

Does anyone have any other ideas for a BETTER title for this one? :confused:
When I get my pedal back so i can record, im gonna post this song.

god...can i get a LITTLE feedback please???? free rep to those who give me some pointers and critisism (spelling?) and praise and **** like that, not just "real good kid, keep writing...." god this post has been up for weeks!

okay, maybe not weeks, at least one week. But guys....

I NEEEEEEEEEEED SOME FEEDBACK!!! I GO CRAZY WITHOUT IT!!!!
Oh yeah, just so u no, this song is melodic death metal. I'm planning on posting it in the listening post when i can record again.

Ya, go ahead and think that i think the world revolves around me, but tell me what you think of the dang song!!!

i think the title suits fine...the vivid imagery is great! im not a death metal kind a person so i really dont know what else to say... :o

its cool thanx for the reply

I am sadden that you would take a God given talent to write such depressing stuff.

Life is what you make of it. Enjoy it! Unless you are searching through garbage cans for you next meal, I suggest a more cheerful approach. Lighten up.

I would never buy such depression crap.

Of course, everybody has their own opinion. Who am I to critize anyone, however, you asked for a comment.

The "final breath" I used in a poem I wrote many moons ago. It was about waiting for the final breath, but it wasn't as depressing as your song. You are "your on enemy". For sure!

I do believe you have a natural gift, but you are wasting it. I my opinon.

Songman, have you ever been a....therapist before? You seem to know a lot about life and living it to the fullest. I wrote this song about a battle I had between me and my conscience. The real situation i was in wasn't actually very depressing, but it was a tough decision to make, so I wrote a song about it. Songman, you seem to get on my back every time I write a song terribly depressing or about something i haven't experienced. It's my style, and I find it easier to write crap I feel and about history and stuff. Come on, dude, thanks for telling me I have a gift, but let me use it the way I want, not the way you want.

Well, I probably shouldn't say anything, BUT being that I'm in the mood I am, I'm going to. You really shouldn't post a song on here if you aren't going to be willing to tolerate criticism. That is the purpose for posting a song I believe, not just sharing but for constructive criticsm. I think the lyrics are decent and I'm guesing it fits your genre, bbut understand a lot of people just don't get that type of stuff. Not to say its bad. The quality of music and lyrics all comes down to a personal opinion.

If you're writing for yourself as therapy, than go for it.
But if you are writing for the enjoyment of yourself and others, to enlighten, to sell your songs, to reap the benefits, then start enjoying life and show it in your music. I'm sorry if I offended you, but I didn't know we were running a therapy session. I thought we were trying to write songs.

I'm only trying to get you to realize your true gift and use it to its fullest potential. You are too good to write that junk. Everybody has problems in life. If you are using your talents just to cope, you are doing yourself a great injustice. You will erase all of your sorrow when you know people are buying your song!

I'm not telling you to not to write about your feels, just don't be so depressing. And keep writing!

All the birds on Jaybird Street love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet.
And raven quotes, "Nevermore!".

Bye, nevermore.

*grabs caramel coated popcorn

Originally Posted by: iihollyWell, I probably shouldn't say anything, BUT being that I'm in the mood I am, I'm going to. You really shouldn't post a song on here if you aren't going to be willing to tolerate criticism.

holly, cmon. of course i could tolerate critisism, but songman is trying to tell me how to write the way he wants me to. I'm gonna write with my own style and nobody gonna change my style of writing. I'd only add a few tweaks to my writing when somebody tells me something they think could be better in a few ways. I dont like when therapists like Songman go around "write about happy things that youve experienced. How can you write a song about something you've never experienced?" and also they say "Life is what you make of it. Enjoy it!" I am enjoying it, thank you very much. Those are just statements trying to get me to have a writing style overhaul. It's like trying to change a persons personality. Its not easy and you can't walk up to someone and say "instead of being completely sullen you should happy and quirky!" it just wont work my friends. Even if the person agrees, cmon, you can't make him have a complete personality overhaul. Trying to change someones style of writing is NOT criticism, and if it is, I've been missing out on criticism class.

The voice of death whispers in my ear
The word of terror is on the tip of my tongue
The sight of torture is in my eyes
The smell of blood is all that fills my lungs

See this is what I'm talking about.
You have the talent the power of words to express with style, but sometimes you're just trying to rythme. For instance, "The smell of blood is all that fills my lungs" doesn't make sense. The smell of blood is all the fills my nossils makes since, but doesn't rythme.

I'm sorry for being so blunt, but like I said you are very talented and you're wasting it on death, terror, pain, etc. Just think of the people you could reach if you put your efforts into more pleasing thoughts. You can still express sorrow, tragedy, pain, etc. without being so depressing. You are not like these others, you are talented.

Try it sometime. Remember all the little birdies on Jaybird Street love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet. Quote the raven, "Nevermore!".

I have been around a long time. I've been there and done that. It's best to learn from the mistakes of others, however, somethings you have to learn for yourself. I won't bother you anymore. Keep writing.

Well people can criticize your writing style/subject as well. Like if someone wrote a lame cliche song about puppies in bubble gum... wait that'd be kind of funny... but like a Backstreet Boy song I'd feel free to criticize them about the choice of their topic and writing style. And if you don't like his criticism you are free to disregard it, but you can't really say constructive criticism is wrong in any circumstance as long as the person is offering your opinions.
And the fact is some people just think the content of pretty much any death metal (or whatever) is over done and cliche. As are a lot of subject and styles of lyrics I suppose.
But as I've said already don't post lyrics if you don't want people to criticize the style of them. Writing is not only about the order of the words its also about the content of the words.