The word of terror is on the tip of my tongue
The sight of torture is in my eyes
The smell of blood is all that fills my lungs
See this is what I'm talking about.
You have the talent the power of words to express with style, but sometimes you're just trying to rythme. For instance, "The smell of blood is all that fills my lungs" doesn't make sense. The smell of blood is all the fills my nossils makes since, but doesn't rythme.
I'm sorry for being so blunt, but like I said you are very talented and you're wasting it on death, terror, pain, etc. Just think of the people you could reach if you put your efforts into more pleasing thoughts. You can still express sorrow, tragedy, pain, etc. without being so depressing. You are not like these others, you are talented.
Try it sometime. Remember all the little birdies on Jaybird Street love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet. Quote the raven, "Nevermore!".
I have been around a long time. I've been there and done that. It's best to learn from the mistakes of others, however, somethings you have to learn for yourself. I won't bother you anymore. Keep writing.
