Tell me what you think

This is okay, but nothing special, tell me what you think:

Puppet Show

(Starts out as almost a classical ballad)

The curtain goes up,
The lights go down,
And now we commence the show.

Puppets in dress,
Puppets in gown,
Puppets dance to and fro.

But the interesting thing is who's holding the strings
And the man who does that is controlling the play!

But who is this man who has puppets in hand?
For the puppets will echo the things he will say!

Puppets will dance
Puppets will prance
Puppets to...entertain,
but the man who's behind it is quite single minded
and all of us do all the things he commands!

Puppets all twisted
For puppets resisted
But puppets don't last very long.
For the man who controlls it proceeds to unfold it
And then we realize we aren't in our own hands.

(Suddenly gets a lot faster)

The puppeting man raises puppeting hand
removing his veil to reveal who he is
And though it may shock you, it truly will rock you,
Only he can decide who is passing the quiz!

The puppeteer, with an evil leer
Rejects every one who tells him what to do.
And ironically it is I who called he
When the true puppet dancing had really begun.

Puppets dance to and fro?

Don't like that part.

The rest of it is ok. Some of the words seem like they were only used to complete a rhyme. There is no overall rhyme scheme and that gets a little awkward.

It's ok.

Yeah!!!!

[growl]MASTER!!! MASTER!!![/growl]

Oh, wait a sec...

Not bad but it was done 25 years ago by Supertramp......


The actors and jesters are here
The stage is in darkness and clear
For raising the curtain
And no-one’s quite certain whose play it is
How long ago, how long
If only we had listened thein.
If we’d known just how right we were going to be.
For we dreamed a lot
And we schemed a lot
And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart.

If everyone was listening you know
There’d be a chance that we could save the show
Who’ll be the last clown
To bring the house down?
Oh no, please no, don’t let the curtain fall

Well, what is your costume today?
Who are the props in your play?
You’re acting a part which you thought from the start
Was an honest one.
Well how do you plead?
An actor indeed!
Go re-learn your lines,
You don’t know what you’ve done
The finale’s begun.

If everyone was listening you know
There’d be a chance that we could save the show,
Who’ll be the last clown
To bring the house down?
Oh no, please no, don’t let the curtain fall.

Originally posted by iamthe_eggman
Yeah!!!!

[growl]MASTER!!! MASTER!!![/growl]

Oh, wait a sec...

LOL!!!!

Digit - I dont think the guys lyrics are that similar to the song you mentioned!!
Hey man nice idea, like the whole metaphor idea other than a simple story. I think you mention the word 'puppet' too much tho, perhaps thing or another word to use also.
Kriss

WERE GOING FASTER!!!!

OBEY YOUR MASTER!!! MASTER!!!

okay the lyrics are okay, not bad but then it could be better....hmmm the subject ofpuppets has sorta already been taken...but hey i guess u could use it again as long as it ain't too much like anything else...MASTER!!!!

Hey guys, stop stealing my shtick!