Tell Me What You Think Please

Your blabbering about this sh*t
And it really makes me sick

Your talking about how you want me
And how much that you love me
But all that sh*t really doesn't matter

Your blabbering about that sh*t
That really makes me not want to sit
And stick around

You've got diahera of the mouth
And i can't seem to get away
From your constant talking
Boring me with these random words
About love and how were ment to be together

Drowning me with your constant talking
Next time please just give a warning
So ill know
When to walk away

Still with the blabbering of the mouth
Wont somone please take me out
And get me away from you

(this is my first song EVER!!!)

Man thats pretty good. I would work some more on it, but I can relate to those lyrics a lot.

thanks man do you have any suggestions on how i could improve my writting skills cause i am VERY new and inexprierenced with the whole writting lyrics thing

I think writing personal lyrics are the best, they seem to relate to people better.

Like Incidents Happens always says, stay away from that: "I'm trapped in my cage, all of my rage, inside this maze,....." Blah, blah, crap that most nu-metal is putting out.

Being personal is the best in my opinion, but that's not saying everyone else will like it.

yeah im not into all that slipknot stuff i need to hurt someone kinda stuff anyway. i want to be able to write stuff that is meaningful and catchy at the same time.(every writters dream) but would you have any tips on my song or like on how to continue writting songs

I like a lot of Corey's lyrics in his songs for Slipknot and Stone Sour. Course some are whack, but I find that with every songwriter. Man, all I can tell you is write with feeling, what your feeling, involving your emotions. As long as the lyrics are emotional and have feeling to you than I would be happy with that. A lot of good nu-metal (which is hard to find) can have some really emotional lyrics. I don't really consider them nu-metal, but I would suggest listening to some of Cold's music. All 3 of their cds are very emotional and it is easy to find truth in the lyrics, which is hard to find today.

Originally posted by Bhe5

You've got diahera of the mouth
And i can't seem to get away
From your constant talking
Boring me with these random words
About love and how were ment to be together

(this is my first song EVER!!!)

"You've got diahrea of the mouth"
hah! I haven't heard that phrase in sooo long!

The concept is good, but your wording style is way too harsh for my style. That's what writers try to get....Concepts. Once you find the concept, its half the battle...This is the scenerio i took from the lyrics;

Man and Woman (lovers?) get in a fight, or maybe the man is fed up with the woman, and she irritates the hell out of him. I can see this as being an inspirational point for a song, but in the way of your words, it sounds like you took each line, and said "hm.....what will work on this line.....", which most writers do (and get away with), but its a bad habit...I like how you pretty much stayed on one concept (alot of people want to tell the whole world every thought they have in one song), but re-word it so its nicer on the ears (unless you are still going for that lame nu-metal tone....)

Best of luck.

Yeah cool lyrics. In my opinion they need some work, not so much in the lyric (since that's your thing) but the structuring. A good tip since your looking for catchy but meaningful lyrics is to try writing the chorus foremost, then let the verses reflect on the what the chorus is about. A chorus itself should be something that is catchy and that everyone can relate to, and best sing-a-long to. A good idea is to take a prevalent social phrase and say it in the chorus. Like this, "when it's all said and done, I'm not the only one." Now everyone has heard someone say, "when it's all said and done" at some point in there life. Then "I'm not the only one" reflects the meaning of the song. The song is about my high school years where I put up with a lot of B.S. but in the end I still had friends and everything worked out good. I think a lot of people can relate to that. Well anyways there's my tip for ya. Best of luck to you.

its good, however u seem to have a obsession with 'sh*t' i'd try not to use too many reaferances to crap in my songs.:D

A lot of your "your"s should be "you're" (you are)

It doesn't matter; that's a simple grammatical error, you couldn't tell the difference if he sang it.

the word "Blabbering" sounds like hell in music, however. I recommend changing that.

~Incidents

I agree with b_hoves...if a song has a chorus revolving around the s word...it get's a little too...Limp Bizkit.

This song could use some work. I think you have the concept of what you want to say down, but I'm sure this isn't quite the way I would deliver. Also, if you're going to accuse someone of having "diarhea of the mouth" try not using cus words. I know when I read the song... I thought that mean "potty mouth", so it confused me. That was pretty good for a first song I must admit.