Originally posted by Bhe5

You've got diahera of the mouth
And i can't seem to get away
From your constant talking
Boring me with these random words
About love and how were ment to be together

(this is my first song EVER!!!)

"You've got diahrea of the mouth"
hah! I haven't heard that phrase in sooo long!

The concept is good, but your wording style is way too harsh for my style. That's what writers try to get....Concepts. Once you find the concept, its half the battle...This is the scenerio i took from the lyrics;

Man and Woman (lovers?) get in a fight, or maybe the man is fed up with the woman, and she irritates the hell out of him. I can see this as being an inspirational point for a song, but in the way of your words, it sounds like you took each line, and said "hm.....what will work on this line.....", which most writers do (and get away with), but its a bad habit...I like how you pretty much stayed on one concept (alot of people want to tell the whole world every thought they have in one song), but re-word it so its nicer on the ears (unless you are still going for that lame nu-metal tone....)

Best of luck.