What a difference a day makes


Azrael
Gargoyle Instructor
Joined: 04/06/01
Posts: 2,093
Azrael
Gargoyle Instructor
Joined: 04/06/01
Posts: 2,093
11/04/2010 8:37 pm
It has been a long time since i started a thread here on GT.
This time, the reason is a rather sad one....

About 12 years ago i was struggling with my guitarskills and a friend of mine introduced me to a, what he called "very good teacher". This is how i met Ingo. He tought me how to play the guitar propperly. He introduced me to a larger universe of musical diversity than i had known before. He gave me inspiration and new ideas for my musical career as he apparently did to alot of people. He had a very fine way of teaching bringing forth the individual strenghts of his students rather than demanding a certain developement. After a few years he was very proud of me, saying that i was one of his best students he had in his 30 years of teaching.

Around the year 2000 he invited me over to his studio telling me stories of his old band and all the gigs they performed and what a gread variety of excellent musicians he was fortunate to have had as bandmembers over the years. At that point he had retired from playing live on stage and focused on creating a monumental piece of music called "Green Hitler" - a twisted story about various gods (no it actually has nothing racist in it - its a metaphor). He planned the project to be a 5-CD album holding some 150 songs - and he chose me to be the guitarist of the project. With this decision he introduced me to the world of studio recording and improvising. Over the past 10 years we have been working on the project and i have learned alot in the process. I owe alot of my musical skills, views and knowledge to Ingo.

A few months ago I received a call from him after i have not heard anything from him in weeks. He apologized and explained to me that he has been brought to hospital and diagnosed with cancer. He had a small tumor in his lung and 3 metastases in his brain. He had some severe treatments and i was visiting him in hospital. 4 weeks ago he called me, telling me that hes doing better and that his response to the treatment was rather good and that we could meet soon to discuss about the project.

Well.. on monday, Jan, our singer, called me telling me that Ingo has lost his fight to cancer 5 days after his 60th birthday.

Today, the cremation ceremony took place, which of course i attended.

But that was not all - five minutes after the ceremony i was walking to my car with 2 friends. We wanted to drive to Ingos favourite restaurant where the funeral feast would take place. That was the moment when i received a call from my mother, telling me that my grandmother just died.

So i cancelled my visit to the feast, picked up Neomae and we drove to my parents place. I dont know much to tell you about my grandmother. She was 82 years old, lived through the second world war and came to austria as a sudeten german. Since i was little i always remembered her as a white haired woman sitting in a comfortable big chair infont of a TV-set. I cannot say, that - in the last 15 years or so - i have had a very close relationship to her. Not that i didnt like her or she didnt like me, but she was just like the old lady that was complaining about the people passing on the street, fearing that i was a satanist because of my black clothing and music and giving the young me underpants for christmas and birthday. She was a nice woman from what i have known of her. Nevertheless it is very strange loosing a person that you have known for so many years. Same with Ingo.

I have to admit, today was a rather demanding day. The whole week was, actually. I have not been to many funerals in my life so far. My grandfather died when i was 1 year old. The death of my grandmother is the first death of someone of my family that i conciously experience. I am left with a feeling that i can hardly put into words.

Well.. i guess life goes on nevertheless and death is a part of it. It will never cease to suprise us in even the unthinkablest moments. I think our society has failed to accept death as a part of life. I think we have very much lost contact to the "circle of life" by deliberately ignoring deaths very presence. So much the worse is the emotional impact when it reminds us of its existance every now and then.

I guess one realy must learn how to die to realy be alive.

PS: Sorry for my bad english

[FONT=Times New Roman]Holiness is in right action and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves. What you decide to do every day makes you a good person... or not.[/FONT][br][br]

# 1
SebastBerg
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Joined: 02/01/10
Posts: 421
SebastBerg
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Joined: 02/01/10
Posts: 421
11/04/2010 10:39 pm
I think you said it all in one sentence

"I think our society has failed to accept death as a part of life."

That dosnt mean we cannot cry someone's death but accepting that everyone die's someday, old or young, is the first step to not feeling so horrible.

Also, funerals shouldnt be all dark clothes and staying silence. It should be colorfull with music. Lets celebrate the departure of someone dear to us as they make there way to the next step (whatever it is...based on our beliefs).

But like they say, sometimes it takes a slap in the face to understand.

Expressing your thought's and emotions to people is the right way to go, I think.
So keep doing what you do :)
# 2
hunter1801
Registered User
Joined: 01/27/05
Posts: 1,331
hunter1801
Registered User
Joined: 01/27/05
Posts: 1,331
11/05/2010 12:06 am
I was always comfortable with the whole death thing. I'm 24 and I have been to more funerals at my age than a lot of people go to their entire lives. Mostly family members. That's one drawback of having a big family that is close. Lost a cousin and my grandmother to cancer. Another cousin and my uncle beat their cancer though. The biggest toll it takes is on the family of the person. Always hard to lose someone close, but as you said, just a part of life.
# 3
GuitarPsy
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Joined: 10/19/04
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GuitarPsy
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Posts: 511
11/15/2010 12:37 am
what a story.. I'm sorry for your loss, I understand how that must feel confusing since I haven't lost a lot of people close to me either

what you said 'I think our society has failed to accept death as a part of life' really shook me to realize that it was exactly what has been bothering me for a long long time..!
but I think that life itself lost a lot of meaning to many people, we're all searching, since most of us aren't raised by the same faith or believes our parents or grandparents did before us and we are living in a totally different world. The world has changed and it has gotten humanity lost in endless possibilities. I notice the people of today are trying more then ever to find meaning and purpose, whether it is in faith, values or goals.
I do not believe there is a single reason for all to live by. I believe every one of us needs to find their reason and dare to believe in it and live by it. Taking life in your own hands is what makes life. I think the confrontation with death or loss is the trigger to realize this.

regards,
Psy
= good music is good drinking =
# 4
bobby_t
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Joined: 04/24/10
Posts: 40
bobby_t
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Joined: 04/24/10
Posts: 40
11/15/2010 2:33 pm
I've been to many funerals. Some older like my grandparents and others who were much younger and partially due to the lifestyle and usage that comes with alcohol and drugs. I guess I learned about it pretty early in life, but I have come to believe that people aren't taken from us, but rather given to us for a period of time to make the best of while they are part of our lives and to learn how to be decent human beings from each other. Or we can take the natural occurring life event of death as something personal and miss the whole point of what makes life special. When someone's passing is troubling to someone else, I try to be there for them in case they need to talk or to simply put a hand on their shoulder.

You know, at any given moment, the cells in your body are ones that you didn't have about 7 years prior. I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul with a body. Sure maybe people dance to the music, but it's really what happens in your soul that moves you. And while my knees get worse and my eyes are starting to get worse, I look at them as losing a hubcap or a bumper getting dinged up. They're just parts. So death, to me, isn't necessarily what I might have once thought it was.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
# 5
Azrael
Gargoyle Instructor
Joined: 04/06/01
Posts: 2,093
Azrael
Gargoyle Instructor
Joined: 04/06/01
Posts: 2,093
11/16/2010 11:02 am
Everyone has his/her beliefs about what death is and what will happen afterwards. Thats perfectly fine and each one of us is bound to find out about it sooner or later anyway.

I still think that we, as what we call "civilized society", have sortof banned death from our lives. You don't talk to little kids about death. You don't talk about death when taking a walk with your girlfriend. Most of us seem to have to look death in the very eye to start spending some thought on it.
I think realizing that death is there and will eventually take all of us away from this very plane of existance and realy spending some deeper thought on it is a vital part of learning to appreciate the gift of life. Too many of us take being here and taking what they have for granted. It is not.
It can be over in the blink of an eye.
Helping our kids develop some kind of deeper thought about themselves and the world they are living in .. thats, i think, where we fail.

[FONT=Times New Roman]Holiness is in right action and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves. What you decide to do every day makes you a good person... or not.[/FONT][br][br]

# 6

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