Need some advice

So,I like/liked this girl. We were friends in 6th grade(im now in 9th), and I asked her out. That was a stupid thing to do, because she said lets just be friends, but of course we weren't anymore. So now I keep trying to talk to her, just trying to become friends again at least. Everytime I talk to her on AIM I end up saying something stupid or nothing at all and she just goes away in the middle. What happened yesterday is, my friend gave me some really stupid advice. She had just gone away out of nowhere and he told me to say " whats your problem, every time i try to talk to you, you go away, if you don't want to be friends just say so". Somehow he convinced me to say it, and I did. She didn't say anything. I feel like a complete idiot, this is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done. If I had even a -7 out of 100000000 chance of even being friends with her again I ****ed it up.

Gah, I'm trying not to sound too emotionalish but anybody good with this stuff? What should I do now? Say sorry or something?

If I was in that exact same situation, I'd probably just sit tight and not take any further action. You asked her a perfectly valid question, she owes you an answer.

Id walk away form that one. If she is worth her salt, or you stand a chance, she will come back and talk to you. If not, well you have lost nothing anyway.


Relax dude, be cool and confidant, don't force the issue and let them come to you ! The ones that do are interested (and interesting), the ones that don't aren't !

She was prolly a lil weirded out regardless of the subsequent confrontation. But I wouldn't regret it. Trust me...it's way better to get rejected than to have never asked at all and wonder years later, what could've been.

"if it smells like trout, get the F**k OUT."



its relevant, trust me.


drunkeness prevails.

Yeah man, just leave it alone... she'll be back... and if she's the kind of friend you want it won't take long.

I'm not sure that what you did was all that stupid in the scheme of things, so don't beat yourself up about it. Next time you see her, ask her calmly for an answer to your question.....

I don't think we can say at this stage if it smells like trout, but that advice is certainly worth keepinng in mind...

Yup. Say nothing. Take no further action. It is always semed to me that these sort of things tend to continue to build on the last thing. In other words, if you say something else (at this point), it's just going to sound wrong to her. Let it go.

In situations like this, I have always tried to remember the words of Evelyn Waugh who said "Never apologize and never explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway..."

If she's your friend, then she'll be back. If not, what have you lost? Not much.

Much thanks for the advice, I think I'll just forget about it then(and go play guitar).

Originally Posted by: guitarfreak141Much thanks for the advice, I think I'll just forget about it then(and go play guitar).

Yeah...like Jimi says..."that's allright, I still got my guitah!"

Either that or..."if my baby don't love me...I know her sista will!" :D

Don't worry bout it dude, if it's meant to happen it will, if not it wont, simple as, and anyway, there's plenny more fish in the sea :) well, except trout cause they come from rivers n lakes, oh and cod, they're in short supply in the north sea at present :eek: plenty of haddock tho :D

I had a similar experience where a friend of mine thought I asked her out (long story) and wouldn't believe that it hadn't been what I was trying to do, we used to go for walks every day and talk about stuff but after that she avoided me...I didn't even know why until somebody told me that she had told them that I asked her out, and I finally got the whole story. She still apparently thinks that I did, and that was like three years ago. Anyway, after that happened I realized that she wasn't really much of a friend after all. I realized that she was really just using me for her own amusement, when she thought things were getting serious, she abandoned ship. Think about it, if it was the other way around and you didn't want to go out with the girl, would you still be friends with her? I know I would. She isn't really your friend. When you get older things will seem a lot simpler...I know in grade 9 how it feels, you think you're in love and you'll die because she's the greatest girl and now she doesn't talk to you anymore, and all that. But you'll get older and you'll realize she wasn't worth the trouble or the worry. You'll find someone who's SO much better, and you'll never think about this girl again. I promise you that.

Originally Posted by: strat-manDon't worry bout it dude, if it's meant to happen it will, if not it wont, simple as, and anyway, there's plenny more fish in the sea :) well, except trout cause they come from rivers n lakes, oh and cod, they're in short supply in the north sea at present :eek: plenty of haddock tho :D

Speckled trout live in the sea.

But yeah, I think we've all been in similar situations. No use in getting worked up over just 1 female at your age. Now, if this persists for years with multiple women like it has to me, thats when you start to panic.

But your young. Go eat some speckled trout and burbot (freshwater cod). Deep fried are delicious.

Originally Posted by: acapellaI had a similar experience where a friend of mine thought I asked her out (long story) and wouldn't believe that it hadn't been what I was trying to do, we used to go for walks every day and talk about stuff but after that she avoided me...I didn't even know why until somebody told me that she had told them that I asked her out, and I finally got the whole story. She still apparently thinks that I did, and that was like three years ago. Anyway, after that happened I realized that she wasn't really much of a friend after all. I realized that she was really just using me for her own amusement, when she thought things were getting serious, she abandoned ship. Think about it, if it was the other way around and you didn't want to go out with the girl, would you still be friends with her? I know I would. She isn't really your friend. When you get older things will seem a lot simpler...I know in grade 9 how it feels, you think you're in love and you'll die because she's the greatest girl and now she doesn't talk to you anymore, and all that. But you'll get older and you'll realize she wasn't worth the trouble or the worry. You'll find someone who's SO much better, and you'll never think about this girl again. I promise you that.

wow, I couldn't have said how I was feeling better than you did. I felt exactly like you said, right up until now. That really helped, thanks a lot.

Originally Posted by: guitarfreak141wow, I couldn't have said how I was feeling better than you did. I felt exactly like you said, right up until now. That really helped, thanks a lot.

No problem buddy. I'm glad I could help you out some.

Yeah man... just back off a bit and be confident. Instead of always being the one that says "hey" to her on AIM or something try to see if she ever says it to you first... Chances are she won't... becuase she's probably the kind of girl that wants to be wanted and chased after... like every other girl... Just back off and let her dictate where it goes. Like I said though, be confident and be yourself and everything will work itself out. You'll find the girls play a lot of games and it's pretty important, as a guy, to learn how to get through the smoke and mirrors and down to the real stuff... Very rarely will you find a girl that isn't filled with tricks and drama between the 9th and 11th grade... so just sit back and watch your friends get torn apart by the female species and wait for a girl that you really click with. No use in trying to force anything.