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It's all getting too serious !!!

howie50
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howie50
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Posts: 63
06/14/2001 9:02 pm
Anybody know any good music based jokes such as:-

Q How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb ?

A Two...Two....Two....Three....Four..........

or

Q How do you stop a guitarist from playing ?

A Put some music in front of him ?

Let's get a bit lighter round here.
It takes 3 chords, 2 fingers and one asshole to play rock'n'roll
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# 1
space ace
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space ace
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06/15/2001 12:12 am
Why is the drummer always late for gigs.

because he always off screwing the guitarist's wife.
Lane Hunter
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# 2
Fly Boy
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Fly Boy
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06/15/2001 12:20 am
I heard this off a great pianist friend of mine, it's not true or funny!!

how do you vonfuse a guitarist?

give him sheet music

ha ha
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# 3
PeptoB
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PeptoB
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06/15/2001 3:14 am
This is an old one but what the heck,
Q:How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the light bulb and three to discuss how Clapton would've done it.

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# 4
Fenderblues
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Fenderblues
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06/15/2001 6:19 pm
Brilliant, keep em coming
While I'm sat here, Playin', I'm tryin' to free my mind!
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# 5
Raskolnikov
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Raskolnikov
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06/16/2001 12:52 am
What's the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead drummer in the road?
The skid marks come before the cat.

What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
The savings bond will one day mature and earn money.

You're lost in the wood, and eventually come across an in tune bassist, an out of tune bassist, and santa clause, who do you ask for directions?
The out of tune bassist- the other two are hallucinations.
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 6
Willdridge
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Willdridge
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06/16/2001 8:18 am
Ahem...

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
Took him four hours to get the drummer out.

How do you know it's a drummer at you door?
He doesn't know hen to come in and the knocking gets faster and faster.

Last one:-

What's the difference between a chiropidist (spelling) and Ginger Baker?
A chiropidist bucks up your feet.

There's a funny one about Yngwie, but it's a bit long winded so I'll save it for later.
Don't worry too much about me, ignore me long enough and I'll go away.
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# 7
Alan Moorhouse
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Alan Moorhouse
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06/17/2001 8:44 pm
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.
;) Reelin' in the years...
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# 8
billcrawford
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billcrawford
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06/17/2001 9:10 pm
What do you call a drummer with a claimed IQ of over 10?

Yeah, you guessed it - a liar!
"Its what you DON'T play that sets you apart from the mundane."
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# 9
MajinMojo
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MajinMojo
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06/19/2001 3:40 am
I have never heaerd any of these before, the drummer ones are hilarious.
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# 10
space ace
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space ace
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06/19/2001 10:57 pm
Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson.

A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to land on the moon and Michael Jackson ****s little kids up the ass.
Lane Hunter
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# 11
Raskolnikov
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Raskolnikov
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06/19/2001 11:15 pm
that's a little grey zone I think... you might want to delete that post. I'm of course not a moderator, but I think I know what they'll feel about it.
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 12
Christoph
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Christoph
is Super Fabulous
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06/20/2001 2:39 am
Originally posted by space ace
Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson.

A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to land on the moon and Michael Jackson ****s little kids up the ass.


Yeah I'd call that a difference. However, I think you failed to read Howie's original post - music related jokes.
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# 13
Joseph
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Joseph
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06/20/2001 4:55 am

As a musician, I take just everything very seriously, when it comes to my music, and how others re-act to my overall approach. But still, whats most important is how you feel pertaining to your efforts, and a few harmless jokes never hurt anyone. I think we all need to sit back and laugh every once in a while, especially with the hectic schedule that every hawrd working musicians has to endure.

Q. What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
A.He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

Q.What does a guitar and a hooker have in common?
A.They both have a G-string


-Joseph

www.ragmagazine.com
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
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# 14
Lordathestrings
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Lordathestrings
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06/20/2001 5:39 am
Q: What do good women and good guitars have in common?
A: To get the sounds you wanna hear, you gotta stroke 'em just so. :D

Lordathestrings
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www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 15
Raskolnikov
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Raskolnikov
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06/20/2001 9:25 pm
How many jazz pianists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Screw the changes, we'll fake 'em.

What's the range on an Ibanez guitar?
The fourth row if you've got a good arm.
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 16
Alan Moorhouse
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Alan Moorhouse
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06/20/2001 10:32 pm
What do you call a guy who hangs round with musicians?

A drummer.

I wonder if drummers have a website where they do guitar-player jokes?
;) Reelin' in the years...
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# 17
space ace
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space ace
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06/20/2001 10:57 pm
[]

Yeah I'd call that a difference. However, I think you failed to read Howie's original post - music related jokes. [/B][/QUOTE]


Hate to ring on your parade but Michael Jackson is a singer there smarts.



wooooooo!!!!!!!!!


And as a truly talented musicians you should all laugh at him and his fans as much as you can.
Lane Hunter
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# 18
Joseph
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Joseph
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06/21/2001 3:53 am
Originally posted by Alan Moorhouse
What do you call a guy who hangs round with musicians?

A drummer.



Hey, If could just find a solid drummer down here in South Florida I swear I would never make these jokes again...

-Joseph
www.ragmagazine.com
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
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# 19
Christoph
is Super Fabulous
Joined: 03/06/01
Posts: 1,623
Christoph
is Super Fabulous
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Posts: 1,623
06/21/2001 6:45 am
Originally posted by space ace
Hate to ring on your parade but Michael Jackson is a singer there smarts.



And what does his messing around with little boys have to do with music, genius?
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# 20

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