What's the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead drummer in the road?
The skid marks come before the cat.

What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
The savings bond will one day mature and earn money.

You're lost in the wood, and eventually come across an in tune bassist, an out of tune bassist, and santa clause, who do you ask for directions?
The out of tune bassist- the other two are hallucinations.