Rubbish humour

Today I nearly died laughing. It's very windy here in Aberdeen and, as I waited at a bus stop, I saw a woman pushing a large 4 wheeler bin down the narrow bus-stop layby. She explained that she thought it was a traffic obstacle and that "Knowing my luck I'd hit it if I was driving past". I gave her a hand parking the thing but neither of us could get the brake to work so I decided that it would be better off on the pavement and pushed it up the layby and activated the traffic light, allowing me to push it over a lower peice of curb and onto the pavement.
The next thing I knew the great metal carcasse was charging like a bull elephant in musk! The slope of the pavement sent it flying. It's lid had clearly flipped (literally, it acted like a sail in the wind) and it charged into the road. I wrestled the thing to the side of the road. Well, someone nearly was. my conscientious effort to shift the bin had nearly turned it into a half tonne pizza, newspaper and bottle eating killer.
I got the bus shortly after and kept cracking up. People must have thought I was completely mad. When I got off at the stop I phoned the police and grassed the vicious bastard up, I see it's been moved now.
It's been very windy the last few days. I was told by a guy at a bike shop that his wife crashed into a windsurfing bin yesterday (my words not his).

I am 100%, completely, thoroughly, entirely, baffled.

Sorry. Oddness isn't it?

Wind + Bin = spastic cataclysm. Death and destruction
Moral of the story = do not park bins on precarious pavements in windy weather.

Yeah! Trashbin.

By elephant in musk I meant in must. Musk is perfume derived from the scent gland of the musk deer, its full of pheremones (sexually attractive smells) and some people claim that pheromones work on people. Maybe it smells nice I don't know.
When an elephant is in must it means it's a very hormonal male. Such sexually pro-active males are very dangerous to anything within site. It is during musk that the people who handle elephants for indian religious cermonies (Ganesh is an elephant God, forget that she's got many ARMS but she's still an elephant OK?) must be very careful. An elephant in musk would be a bit odd I guess; a very effeminite elephant with expensive tastes. Sorry for any confusion (unless being confused is fun for any of you).

Originally posted by u10ajf
Yeah! Trashbin. ...Sorry for any confusion (unless being confused is fun for any of you).

I should also point out that to North Americans, "pavement" means the road. What you call "the pavement" is known as "the sidewalk" over here.

Great tale, BTW. :D

I shall have to bear all this in mind next time I try to talk to Americans about adventures with trashcans on the sidewalk! I believe you also call backsides "fannies", In Britain that means a c*nt, a p*ssy, etc. And you keep missing out "u"s. Damn colonials! (not serious)

Originally posted by u10ajf
... And you keep missing out "u"s. Damn colonials! (not serious)

Believe me, I understand. Here, in Canada, we are forced to educate the spell-check feature of our word processing software packages. As text messaging becomes more popular, fewer and fewer people know what correct spelling looks like! :eek:

Well, ujaf1604tjoijnio (I think I've got your name right), your face seems to be changing in COLOR over our crazy colonial habits. Like driving in our TRUCKS and going up and down in ELEVATORS. And being pulled over by POLICE OFFICERS. aka lorries, lifts, and bobbies. Our words are cooler, look at them. Gonna buy me a Ford Lorrie cruisin up and down the road? That just sounds awful. "Help him Arnold! he's stuck in the lift shaft!" LAME. "Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do? whatcha gonna do when bobbies come for you?" LAME as well. ;)

hey man that's cool! I don't mind Americanisms.