Something new


Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
08/31/2007 5:08 am
I've been doing a ton of writing, music and lyrics, lately but of course my mic or something is broken.... frustrating. Anyway this is something I finished today. Part of a series of songs based around a concept, perhaps if I can ever record again some sort album may start to form over the next year or so...

I need to start writing lyrics around music I think, but hopefully I'll be able to work this stuff in without sacrificing any music quality.

Blasting through a stratosphere
Bleeding tears,
I'm out of here
A hole through psyche panic tears
ego lose,
my manic steers
Purple light lost in the fog
I'm in awe,
I'm just a cog
A female voice in silence talks
striped of thoughts,
my epilogue
Words that brain makes into sense
lacking voice,
my mind's past tense
A jester sings as message sent
remake me,
rip down the fence
They want help as I come to
they point down,
as I fall through
They won't say what they will do
They won't say,
but I still knew

hope you enjoy it. Crits more than welcome.
# 1
LDPGuitarist27
Registered User
Joined: 09/15/07
Posts: 11
LDPGuitarist27
Registered User
Joined: 09/15/07
Posts: 11
09/15/2007 4:58 pm
Whoa, that should go with some music! But What is the song about?
Hvy MtL
# 2
Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
09/15/2007 5:33 pm
Well it is part of a series like I said, it's kind of a story that I wrote around a concept I thought up one day. In this part the protagonist (or antagonist it depends on how you look at it I guess) is in a hospital after collapsing and going into a sort of coma. Any way he wakes up and this is the part where he is contacted by extra-dimensional beings (who caused his collapse to begin with) and they come in the form of this intense "hallucination".

It's kinda a weird story I know but I like the concept behind it. I will probably post the other pieces of the story pretty soon, if anybody cares. This forum has been kinda dead lately.
# 3
looneytunes
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Joined: 10/02/07
Posts: 249
looneytunes
Registered User
Joined: 10/02/07
Posts: 249
10/05/2007 7:22 pm
I think it is too complicated. My suggestion is to tell the story and stop beating around the bush. When I listen to lyrics, I don't want to try to guess what the writer was trying to get across. I just want to listen and enjoy. And I enjoy it because of what it does for me, not what the author's intent was.

You do have the knack of rhyme, which means you could probably write any style of music you put a mind to. It is very interesting, but as I said earlier in other threads, it's not for me.

Keep writing. I think you have talent and what you wrote maybe perfect. It's just not what I care for. I would like to hear some of your music. Although I like the country side, I do listen to inner city as well. Hey, "The Country Side" sounds like a good title!
# 4

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