first two songs

I wrote two songs, here they are let me know what u think (i already know the names and lyrics are a little sucky!)plz let me know what u guys think!!

The Thunder Inside (of me)

It was a nice day till' i walked outside
guitar- progression of power chords scaleing up 4 times -,-,-,-

Forecast was for sunny skies
-,-,-,-
Dont know why and i dont know how
-,-,-,-
Oooh but i felt it within
E chrd. (let ring)

It was the thunder inside of me
E ch. Progression up 2 times -,-

the thunder inside of me
E ch. -,-

I felt it from my head to my toes
-,-,-,-

i felt it chatterin' in my bones
-,-,-,-

just like sticks and stones
-,-,-,-

it must be.....yeah it must
E ch. -,-

It was the thunder inside of me
E -,-

the thunder in side of me

Guitar solo(very simple very short)

Thunder inside!!
-,-

it didnt feel good but it didnt feel bad
-,-,-,-

it didnt make me happy it didnt make me sad
-,-,-,-

it didnt make me mad either
-,-,-,-

couldnt describe it, and i couldnt hide it
-,-,-,-

you already know what it is...
-,-,-,-

screamed: you already know what it is !!
Ech. -,-

the thunder inside of me
Ech. -,-

thunder inside of me
Ech. -,-

it made me crazy it made me wild
-,-,-,-

it made me jump around like a phsyco child
-,-,-,-

it made me itch and it made me twitch
-,-,-,-

so come on down and see the show
-,-,-,-

i hope it never ends
Ech. -,-

it was the the thunder inside of me!!
Ach. cut short w/ drum smash.

2nd song- Crazy

drum intro 10 sec.

Guitar- Pentatonic scale starting at 12th fret up and down (really really fast)
a few times, then some blues/rock at 3rd fret. zakk wylde lick at 5th fret(start out slow) then my sped up lick then z. wylde squeal on 3rd fret finish w/ Ech.
My drummer steve's wild solo

then drum and guitar solo at same time for 1:30 SEC.

some body reply!!! :(

well the lyrics are ok. And just describing the song doesn't really help anyone judge how the song would be. Like when you say "there's a solo here" it could be a really ****ty solo or a really good one, we don't knw so telling us all the musical directions doesn't really do anything.

As or the lyrics, as far as originality and interest go, no offense but their nothing special. They work, and if the music is good then it could be a good song. But like I said we can't hear the music.

Judging it on purely lyrical level, like I said, IMHO not much there, but it seems like it works.

On a much more opinionated level, these lyrics might actually detract from my enjoyment of the song, simply becasue it just really doesn't seem like there is anything there. Most people don't care though, and it seems a lot of people prefer these types of lyrics, so I think you'll be alright as long as the music is good.

Well, looks like you're covered for songs in E.... :)

Hard to put together. Record it and put the result in the listening post... you'll get more of a response. For the lead bits, instead of blasting through a pentatonic scale really fast, try playing something simple and phrasing it well. It'll sound better than going through a scale.

Also, don't know if you saw the newsletter, but this scale of the month article is on Am Pentatonic. Sorry for blatantly plugging my own article - if you shift the ideas up to the 12th fret from the 5th - you're in Em... There's nothing crazy in there - but just an idea.