well the lyrics are ok. And just describing the song doesn't really help anyone judge how the song would be. Like when you say "there's a solo here" it could be a really ****ty solo or a really good one, we don't knw so telling us all the musical directions doesn't really do anything.

As or the lyrics, as far as originality and interest go, no offense but their nothing special. They work, and if the music is good then it could be a good song. But like I said we can't hear the music.

Judging it on purely lyrical level, like I said, IMHO not much there, but it seems like it works.

On a much more opinionated level, these lyrics might actually detract from my enjoyment of the song, simply becasue it just really doesn't seem like there is anything there. Most people don't care though, and it seems a lot of people prefer these types of lyrics, so I think you'll be alright as long as the music is good.