Paranoid or Smart?

So a while back I got a message from this dude on myspace who lives in a town bordering my town. He listened to my tunes, liked what he heard apparently, and wanted to know if I'd like to jam. Hes a drummer, wants to start a band, and such. Hes 44 years old, hes got a wife and kids, I believe hes a mechanic at a college, and he owns a home.

So we chatted back and forth for a while. Sounds like his style is similar to mine, so we were planning a jam. I run the idea by my parents, and of course they're skeptical, like any parents are. I'm talking to my sister, and shes feeding me the stupid crap about "what if hes a murderer?" and such.

So this all pissed me off a bit and really just made me wanna go just to spite their stupid paranoid thoughts. I mean, what are the odds of getting murdered by someone you meet online? I've checked this dude out , and it would seem hes legit.

So, what do you guys think? My personal take is, are you really gonna pass up opportunities due to the .000000001 whatever percent chance that this guy is a whack job and wants to kill you? Have any of you jammed with people you've met online before?

Just silly stuff. Maybe I'm being naive. But thats not how see it. I mean, shnikes, I'll be 20 next week, and they're still being this protective? Let me off the friggin breast already.

Sorry for the rant. Many would call me naive, but I don't think thats the case. Its a chance I'd be willing to take, because theres such a small probability that I wouldn't come back from that place. Especially with a cell phone on me and address to the guys home.

Hopefully I can find a friend who wants to take the ride sometime, or get the guy over to my town to jam.

Originally Posted by: grizzlymint
Hopefully I can find a friend who wants to take the ride sometime, or get the guy over to my town to jam.

Either of those would be ideal, IMHO. As you said, the chances that this guy is in fact a nutter are fairly slim. My personal philosophy regarding internet meetups is that, no matter what the chances are, always take a precaution just to be on the safe side. The have-a-friend-along idea is particularly good, not only for safety in the unlikely event that he's a whacko, but because, in the overwhelmingly more likely event that he's just a fellow muso who wants to jam, the more the merrier. If you invite him over to your town, I suggest inviting a friend along as well, so you get the best of both worlds. But you're absolutely right not to get overly paranoid about it.

normally I would say go for it...but I would say come to your place or take a victim..errr friend with you. When I read this I thought of the movie "Wolf Creek" and last night I watched "High Tension"...so I'm afraid to check my mailbox. On second thought don't listen to me :rolleyes:

I'd err on the side of caution. Definitely take a friend, and inform people of where you're going. Have your parents drop you off so that one of them can at least meet this person and let it be known in a subtle way that they're aware of where there son is. It'd be a good idea to have a cell phone with you or a way that you can call your parents to assure them you're ok. (or they can call you if they don't hear from you in a reasonable amount of time)

99% of the time, you're probably going to be fine. However, there's always that 1% of idiots who want nothing more than to start up some kind of relationship with an inexperienced teen.
Trust your gut. If something feels out of wack, get the hell outa there asap.

Even after a long period of time goes by, an experienced predator can trick you into a false sense of security.
ie, you've been going over there for 6 months and feel real comfortable.. hey, maybe the guy even lets you drink a few beers or whatever..
He invites you over one weekend while his wife's away. Offers you a drink.
Next thing you know it's 8 hours later and you have no idea what happened.
(he spiked your drink with GHB and has been playing around with you for several hours while you're passed out)

Just be real careful and always make arrangements to call somebody by a specific time. If they don't hear from you...it's time to wonder what's going on and find out where you are and what you're doing.

You're almost twenty. Trust your gut. If you 'feel' that this guys is legit, go for it. **Of course, take PRECAUTIONS** Take a friend, make sure someone knows where you are and arrange a time for you to call and if they don't hear from you, to come looking. I am also a BIG believer in carrying a little 'something' with you. I don't leave my house without a blade or a set of knuckles.

If you get that feeling that something isn't right when you walk in, just turn around and walk away. You can play 'what if' in any situation. What if the guy is nuts? What if is looking for something other than 'jamming?' I guess it's possible. Unlikely but possible. So be aware, be prepared and go in with eyes open. Just be smart about the situation. I've gotten myself out a number of bad situations solely on just listening that weird vibe.

But again, take PRECAUTIONS and be smart about it.

Having done the whole internet meet up - and benefited from it.. I'd say go for it. But be smart about it. Check this guy out... look him up. If you are planning on meeting him at his house.. look up his name for a listing in the phone book etc... Anyone on the level will be pretty transparent..

And of course let people know where you will be... and if you get there and things don't feel right, just leave.

I got on a plane and travelled to a different country to be with a man I hadn't met in person before... and it worked out, and am so glad I took the chance.... lol Different circumstances than you, but same type of risk.

Go have fun...

i've met some genuinely awesome people throug the internet of all places, but i wouldn't discourage you at all. if he wanted to chop you up and kill you, he probably wouldnt have been in the market for a guitarist...he would have been on a brittney spears message board trying to start a boy band.

but what do i know? the only thing i would think about is the practicality of jamming with someone twice your age or whatever. not that things like that dont work, but unless you guys have some ideas brewing for songs or whatever, i would save yourself the awkwardness and at least write some **** so you dont have to sit there empty-headed if there's no juices flowing.

bring your fiddle :p

I decided to err on the side of caution, and hold off until I could get somebody to make the trip with me. The guy even offered to have my whole family over. I am almost certain he isn't dangerous, but I guess almost isn't good enough.

We gotta get a bassist or another guitarist there anyways. So its for the best.

Great question you pose. I sell things on craigslist from time to time and I always wondered what type of nutjob I was giving directions to my house to. I've started meeting people around the corner at the local shopping center since.

My wife met a girl at a industry type social event and the girl expressed interest in meeting with her to discuss how she got started in her own business and some of her design tactics, etc. They met at a public park in the middle of the day and we even went so far as to record the clothes she was wearing (she can be a little paranoid), 6 months later, the new girl and her husband are great friends of ours.

You're probably going to be fine, but I believe you made the right choice in waiting until someone else can accompany you.

Bro... I meet my girlfriend on Hi5.com, we are gonna get married next year... when we first met she said where (a coffee shop she goes every wednesday with her friends)... I thought that will make her feel safe, and some of her friends called during the date... hope you get the message, being carefull it's never a wrong thing, even when the situation seems cool.

You made the right choice, take the trip with someone, in your case, it's difficult to go to a public place to jam :D

Just be carefull, take a few upper hand situations in your advantge and bring your cell and all would be alright.

Rock on

No need to repeat whats already been covered so when you do go have a blast!

BC

Originally Posted by: grizzlymintI mean, what are the odds of getting murdered by someone you meet online?

you would be surprised.
if you go, bring some.. security.

Originally Posted by: pureyou would be surprised.
if you go, bring some.. security.

I highly doubt I'd be surprised. But I'm taking precautions anyways. :)

I went and hung out with PRSplaya and everything turned out wicked good. My personal take on it is that most of the people you meet on the internet are just normal people (or as normal) as you are. The rest end up on dateline :D!!

Originally Posted by: Leedogg The rest end up on dateline :D!!

Well I found Chris Hansen to be a very nice man once we met in that kitchen for lemonade and cookies... [FONT=Garamond]*kidding...*[/FONT] :)