I got the Blues

Hey guys, Just feeling a bit blue lately...

Well I recently sold my old effect unit and bought a new one.

My wife doesn't understand. It's not that expensive and by the way i used the money from the one I sold to buy it. Why does she have to be so angry with me??? :confused: What's the big deal??

I even told her before I bought it thats wat i do, but when i bought it, she got furious :o

She hasnt been talking to me for days, just because of this.

That's all see ya

You know, I been playing guitar since i was lil kid. It's my passion.

I guess she doesnt understand my passion for guitar.

It's a part of me

The way she acts is as if, playing guitar is just a waste of time.

It's like not just playing for me. It's me... If I have no guitar I'd not be complete. But it seems as tho she wants to break me apart with my music :confused:

You know I've been waiting a long time for this. I'm all setup to record my 1st solo album.

I got all the equipment I need now. But what good is this stuff if you're not motivated to do anything anymore.

I mean God, why doesn't she just understand me and be with me throughout my journey to fulfilling my goals......

hmm maybe shes having hard time with her own life...have u guys tried talking it out? she should understand that it is indeed ur passion and support it...but there are quite a number of people that think of music as a incompetent career...i say just go with what u wanna do...

hmmm... an old girlfriend of mine used to threaten to smash up my guitars while I was practicing.... she must have felt neglected... maybe your wife does too... If it's at all possible that she doesn't get what it means to you, it's worth explaining again.

Aside from that, it's the reason I swapped brackets on the wall to hang my guitars on for racks - I can sneak more in without her realising I've bought more! :D

There used to be a deal that I had to sell one before I could buy... but my collection has increased by 6 and she hasn't noticed... Also, if any new gear does get noticed I've either swapped it with a mate or got it for nothing off ebay... whatever it takes for a quiet life. I don't know if that's good advice, but it works for me....

Buy her some flowers. That usually shuts em up. :)

Yeah, she probably feels (why, I have no idea) that ALL of your passion should be directed at her and that the guitar has a peice of you to which she has no access. You were playing before you met? If so, then she knew going in how important this is to you. Does she have something that means as much to her? Do you support her in that? If so, remind her of that ... gently...cuz' you don't want to get her feathers ruffled any more than they are now.

As a divorced guy, I am in no real position to over relationship advice but I would say this, it's a good thing to compromise in a relationship when trouble arrives. It's NEVER a good thing to capitulate on something that makes you who you are. It's virtually impossible to get over the resentment that comes from that sort of thing.

Best advice of all; just talk about it.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by: maestro shazHey guys, Just feeling a bit blue lately...

Well I recently sold my old effect unit and bought a new one.

My [U]wife[/U] doesn't understand.

Do I need to say any more?Would you understand if yhe was to buy new curtains, although the old ones are perfectly fine, not torn or pail?
They are from Venus.And we are from the bar, so... ;)

I would say it's time to sit down and find out what's behind her anger. She may feel your neglecting the family, her or things around the house. Maybe she's afraid if you make this album it will do so well you won't want her or be around for her. Bottom line: Take her to dinner or do something she likes and get her to open up to you about this problem. If you can find common ground she will be happy and you will be able to put a better album together.

Well that's how i'd handle it anyway.

Originally Posted by: maestro shazWhy does she have to be so angry with me???

I think that's how wives are supposed to be. :D

I agree with the other guys though, your playing is a part of your attention span (and if you're like most of us, it's already very limited) that she has no access to. Try and find out why she's so jacked all the time. If you used the same money from old gear, then you know it's not a monetary thing. Perhaps she's just dipping from the communal well of female neuroses??

Originally Posted by: KrunekDo I need to say any more?Would you understand if yhe was to buy new curtains, although the old ones are perfectly fine, not torn or pail?
They are from Venus.And we are from the bar, so... ;)

Curtains are not the same thing. If it was a diamond necklace or expensive perfume.... something that can and only be used by her. Even though women tend to decorate the home - it doesn't mean that what they buy for the home is just for them. But that is a whole different subject.. :rolleyes:

I think it probably has nothing to do with the gear. I agree it more likely has to do with attention... You can be passionate about music but if the passion for music outweighs your passion for her... She could feel that your playing is at her expense. Its all about balance.

My Friend I have "Been there and done that" with my wife and I can tell you what I did. It wasent guitar ...it was semi pro tourny paintball... but it has the same affect. I did everything for this team. Formed it, got us scrimiges, sponsers, was captin, and even set up for tournyments. I was all about my team and the sport I realy excelled in. I fell so in love with my sport that all my time, money (ohhh my got talk about an expensive sport), and effort went into it. Well the wife dispised it. I mean I went to Shreveport, L.a. and placed 2nd out of 54 teams and you would of thought I raped and pillaged a village while i was out by the way my wife treated me. Well it turns out she did all our money. I didnt have anything to do with it. She was soooo stressed over bills and money and my constant removal of money from the account she looked at it like my belovid sport literly was going to put us into bankrupsy. I was like you and could not understand why she would not support me in something i loved and to be honest was damn good at. Well the sad point of this story is we did devorce over it. I havent played in over 7 years and to be honest I soo miss it. I am on my second try (marrige that is) and i am older and wiser from the expierence. I am sooo lucky for the fact my wife is totaly thrilled about my guitar quest and supports me (actualy pushes me) in it. The big thing I have done different is. I buy nothing for my hobbies/fun from the family money, and I make time for my wife. Bud I honestly dont think she has a problem with your goal. Speaking from expierence there is more to this. You my friend are going to have to sit down with her and find out what it is. Weather it is money or attention... both are very important in keeping a stable relationship with your wife. You my friend are going to have to find the source of the problem. I wish you all the luck.

Yeah... females suck. I'm all about the curtains and the flowers... or even flowered curtains. :rolleyes:

Next time you buy new equipment just don't tell her, unless it's something she's going to notice. Dishonesty is the best policy.

Originally Posted by: Bar Chord NickI would say it's time to sit down and find out what's behind her anger. She may feel your neglecting the family, her or things around the house. Maybe she's afraid if you make this album it will do so well you won't want her or be around for her. Bottom line: Take her to dinner or do something she likes and get her to open up to you about this problem. If you can find common ground she will be happy and you will be able to put a better album together.

Well that's how i'd handle it anyway.

I second this. Every time someones pissed of at me, i ask them why. I find out. Once everyone talks about and puts it all out there, and everyones mature about it, you should feel better.

I think it's a good investment...the effects. I was listening to your stuff yesterday, and it's not like you suck or anything...not even close.

Hang in there dude.

Hi mate,

I'm not going to quote Maveric777's reply, but just to say I think that's pretty much spot on. I've been married 25 years, but just like Hunter I'm in no real position to give relationship advice! :rolleyes: without knowing you guys a lot better.

The only advice is talk round it - your music and playing may not be the thing she resents, but it's the thing she can focus on if she IS feeling you are not in tune or understanding her, so thats what she hits out at.

I wish all the best for you both ( and your album too of course! )

Steve.

Well I'm a lady guitarist, and I couldn't give a damn about the curtains or the jewelery, or even the flowers,...my husband knows what to buy me....another guitar or a piece of equipment etc....What I suggest is that you do exactly the opposite and show your wife how happy you are with the new equipment and by being happy, you'll make her happy. So what if she got mad at you, she'll get over it. All a wife wants is a happy husband. Best of luck, Hani.

"Communication breakdown...it's always the same."
As stated above a few times, I think it's prolly from lack of attention (as she sees it), or your finances really are the issue. Money is the #1 cause of divorce in America, so regardless of the situation of income, you gotta be on the same page with finances, by sharing goals, budgets, and responsibilities.
But as you said you broke even on the exchange of units, I gotta lean towards the attention aspect. If you don't think she understands the depth of your passion for music, try and convey it to her. You might even try inviting her to become more involved in your music, even if just asking of her opinions. If she's not too interested in music anyways, just set aside personal time where she knows she's guaranteed your attention. Certain nights of the week, or certain times of the day would be "hang out" time. Conversely you would have set aside "play" time.
So yeah, it's a 2 way street...you gotta be clear how you feel, and she can't just get mad and not talk to you for days...sorry, but that's just childish.

Hey thanks guys,

You wouldn't believe, yesterday when i picked her up from work, she just changed. She gave me so much attention. :confused: I was puzzled and still am. I guess she finally realised.... :rolleyes:

Anyway, I always have givin her a lot of attention, I got a lot of free time on my hands for my music. Maybe I give her too much attention as she once told me. I thinks its mainly about the money thing you know. We're a bit behind just for this month. But nothing too drastic.

Anyway things seem to be kool now.. Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

Can I change the subject?

How many people here use registered software and not pirated software?

I download k'd versions off usenet first so I can test em out without restrictions for a few weeks.
If I like em, and know I'll be using them regularly I'll buy the full version.
Especially VST synths where you can't tell if they're any good unless you use em in a song first.
Like, ReCycle, Absynth, Pro-52, X-Phrase and Plex etc.. I ended up buying full versions, but Virsin Cube I tossed out cause it always crashed.
I also discovered Cubase 32 used up too much processing power on my older Mac so I went out and bought Cubase 24 instead.

Demo version usually have too many restrictions... like AmpliTube was impossible to test out without the full version. But after using it in a few songs it was worth buying the full version.

Originally Posted by: maestro shazHey thanks guys,

You wouldn't believe, yesterday when i picked her up from work, she just changed. She gave me so much attention. :confused: I was puzzled and still am. I guess she finally realised.... :rolleyes:

Anyway, I always have givin her a lot of attention, I got a lot of free time on my hands for my music. Maybe I give her too much attention as she once told me. I thinks its mainly about the money thing you know. We're a bit behind just for this month. But nothing too drastic.

Anyway things seem to be kool now.. Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

Can I change the subject?

How many people here use registered software and not pirated software?

Registered software?Don"t be ridiculous.That stuff is EXPENSIVE!!!
Hehe.In our country even companies don"t use registered software.Nope.
Hey, "bout the discussion before...sex after the quarell is always so great, have you noticed that? ;)