Dorkus Maximus lyrics


jiujitsu_jesus
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Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
11/14/2006 7:59 pm
As you can see from my signature, I have my own music page, under the moniker of Dorkus Maximus. It's all pseudo-abstract trip-rock - I don't do drugs, I just use the psychedelic factor to disguise how bad it is! :D Anyway, I was wondering whether you could give me any constructive criticism on some of the lyrics...

AIR MAIL
The sun - an eye of fire
The surf - a roaring throng
The shore - a stage for this fool
The sky - a curtain for this monster
The seagull - the herald of humanity
Its gift - The redeeming kiss of... humiliation?
(This is a song about getting crapped on by a seagull at the beach :D)

WARRIOR OF THE BULGE
The battler buckles as the buckle battles
The spirit slowly dies
The resolve cracks, the fibre rattles
And downcast are his eyes

As he plods to his lonely end
Silent warrior of the bulge
Ridicule, his only friend
Doth his enemies' laughter indulge.

LINEAR RELATIONSHIPS
Write along this line
Step across this line
Stay behind this line
Walk along this line

Follow this line
Swallow this line
Recite this line
Do not question this line

Fold along this line
Cut along this line
Construct along this line
Destroy along this line


Thanks. You can also check out the finished products in audio by clicking on the link in my signature - although I must warn you that the sound quality is BAD, so turn your speakers up. :o
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
# 1
earthman buck
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Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
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Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
11/14/2006 8:55 pm
Hahaha. "Air Mail" is genius. "Warrior of the Bulge" is also pretty darn clever. I like "Linear Relationships" too, I just can't imagine it as a song (I also can't listen to it because myspace music never works for me :o ). However, purely as poetry I think it is good. The way you end each line with the same word reminds me of a song I wrote called "Atonal Din" in which I do the same thing.
# 2
jiujitsu_jesus
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Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
11/14/2006 10:21 pm
Wow, thanks man! Yeah, all the songs are spoken rather than sung, so they sound pretty strange. I guess that's the only reason why Linear Relationships works at all :o Thanks again.
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
# 3
ericthecableguy
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Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
ericthecableguy
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Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
11/15/2006 12:31 am
I really do like the lyrics dude. You gotta sing though :).

The seagull - the herald of humanity

THis line is bloody hilarious. Good stuff man.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

METOOB
# 4

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