As you can see from my signature, I have my own music page, under the moniker of Dorkus Maximus. It's all pseudo-abstract trip-rock - I don't do drugs, I just use the psychedelic factor to disguise how bad it is! :D Anyway, I was wondering whether you could give me any constructive criticism on some of the lyrics...

AIR MAIL
The sun - an eye of fire
The surf - a roaring throng
The shore - a stage for this fool
The sky - a curtain for this monster
The seagull - the herald of humanity
Its gift - The redeeming kiss of... humiliation?
(This is a song about getting crapped on by a seagull at the beach :D)

WARRIOR OF THE BULGE
The battler buckles as the buckle battles
The spirit slowly dies
The resolve cracks, the fibre rattles
And downcast are his eyes

As he plods to his lonely end
Silent warrior of the bulge
Ridicule, his only friend
Doth his enemies' laughter indulge.

LINEAR RELATIONSHIPS
Write along this line
Step across this line
Stay behind this line
Walk along this line

Follow this line
Swallow this line
Recite this line
Do not question this line

Fold along this line
Cut along this line
Construct along this line
Destroy along this line


Thanks. You can also check out the finished products in audio by clicking on the link in my signature - although I must warn you that the sound quality is BAD, so turn your speakers up. :o