Random Quotes


Blues_Man
Registered User
Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 600
Has anyone ever heard any just completely random quotes? Taken out of context or otherwise? I'll start.

This one happened on GT.

pure- "Crotch grabbing is culture"

pure- "Crotch grabbing comes from michael jackson".

sorry pure, but that's just funny stuff! haha
I am Comfortably Numb... :D

Oh yeah...STICK IT TO THE MAN!
# 1
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
A few come to mind, yes.

My mom- "are there puddles of goo on my floor that I don't know about?"
My sister- "are there puddles of goo on your floor that you DO know about?"

My friend Andrew says all kinds of random things, but it's hard to take them out of context, since they don't have one. Example:

"It can't be delightful because it's vegetation"

"I like these trees, but you can't climb down them. Because then you'd be descending."
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
# 2
aschleman
Registered User
Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
When I think of random quotes I think about the Jack Handy quotes on the old Saturday Night Lives... Those things are awesome... I read them almost daily...

An example quote:

"I believe a great story would be one about a clown that makes everyone happy but inside is very sad.... and he also has severe diarhea."

Something along those lines.

On any normal night out on the town with me and my friends say many, many random things. I'll have to make note of a few tonight!
# 3
ren
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Joined: 02/03/05
Posts: 1,985
I'm not sure about random, but for funny... this one happened when my friend lisa crashed her car (parking at the time, but she wrecked it!):

Me: "How the hell did you do that?"
Lisa: "Well, in my defence I wasn't looking at the road"

'nuff said.... :eek:

Check out my music, video, lessons & backing tracks here![br]https://www.renhimself.com

# 4
acapella
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Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
Deep Thoughts
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
# 5
markc2005
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Joined: 08/03/05
Posts: 442
in a yellow house on the highway, we get a lot of traffic throught the living room
humans aren't imortal
but rock and roll will never die
:cool:


my soundclick page nothing very impressive though
# 6
iiholly
hmm
Joined: 07/29/02
Posts: 2,368
I've been doing well since I've given up on hope.

# 7
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
This girl I talk to on MSN but don't really know once said to me "I think the glass is half full. I'm an optimist, f***er."

Needless to say, I consider her a genius.
# 8
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,826
I could sit here all day and quote George Carlin.
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator

"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
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# 9
ericthecableguy
Registered User
Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
^^^^

*They're banning toy guns, AND THEY'RE KEEPING THE F@$#ING REAL ONES!
*Get on the plane? F#$% you, I'm getting in the plane


------------
My sister really said this one when i told her it was spirit day at school...
"Is it spirit day all weeK?"

Some idiot blonde said this about the music on my mp3 playa...
"The music is different...change it"
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

METOOB
# 10
elklandercc
Full Access
Joined: 02/20/05
Posts: 2,714
Originally Posted by: magicninjaI could sit here all day and quote George Carlin.

I hear that.
"During this line, the kid acted like he was pushing buttons on a calculator in the air. The kid played ******* air-calculator!"

Myspace
# 11
R. Shackleferd
Gulf Coaster
Joined: 12/13/04
Posts: 1,338
Oh yeah, I'm a big fan of ole' Jack Handey. Classic.

Back in high school me and my bud would write down nonsensical phrases like that to pass the time in Geography class. "Eat more corn," for example. I dunno why that's funny.
[FONT=Palatino Linotype]"Bust a nut!" - Dimebag
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Einstein
[/FONT]
# 12
pure
Registered User
Joined: 11/02/05
Posts: 1,304
wow thanks blues man. i never thought i'd be quoted for the dumb stuff i say.

theres some funny stuff ive seen on newspapers.

"is there a ring of debris around uranus?"
"Milk drinkers are turning to powder"
"Iraqi head seeks arms"

these are kinda funny cause they're so freakin obvious
stuff like:
"If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while"
"Cold wave linked to temperatures"
"Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say"

and my favorate...

"Man is fatally slain"
Originally Posted by: schmangeugly fat chicks
# 13
hunter60
Humble student
Joined: 06/12/05
Posts: 1,579
Late one morning, I was waking up from a particularly savage drunk. My best friend wandered into the living room where I was half-on, half-off the couch, leaned over me and said in a whisper "There's a Nazi in the kitchen who would like to have a word with you..."

Those first 15 seconds or so were the most confusing of my life. I jumped up, started searching under the cushions for my shirt and glasses, trying to get a grip on sanity before it occurred to me, "Whaaat the hell??? A Nazi? In the ktichen???"

He thought it was hilarious. :)
[FONT=Tahoma]"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan [/FONT]
# 14
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
Not that random, but funny nonetheless...

"How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 kinds of cheese?" - Charles de Gaulle.
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
# 15
PonyOne
pHj33r my v1r1l17y
Joined: 11/29/00
Posts: 3,772
I had an old thread up here, Ponyone's Random Thought Theatre... there's a pretty good amount of stuff in there.
more from the self-proclaimed king of long-winded posts
Fox Magic Jiron - Always with us
now with more long-wind power: http://www.livejournal.com/users/tristan_s/
# 16
magicninja
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Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,826
Originally Posted by: ericthecableguy^^^^

*They're banning toy guns, AND THEY'RE KEEPING THE F@$#ING REAL ONES!
*Get on the plane? F#$% you, I'm getting in the plane



One of my favorites.
"Some things you never see. You never see a really tall, fat, chinese guy with red hair."
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator

"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 17
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
Originally Posted by: hunter60Late one morning, I was waking up from a particularly savage drunk. My best friend wandered into the living room where I was half-on, half-off the couch, leaned over me and said in a whisper "There's a Nazi in the kitchen who would like to have a word with you..."

Those first 15 seconds or so were the most confusing of my life. I jumped up, started searching under the cushions for my shirt and glasses, trying to get a grip on sanity before it occurred to me, "Whaaat the hell??? A Nazi? In the ktichen???"

He thought it was hilarious. :)

That's terrifying! I would probably crap myself if that happened to me.
# 18