An affair made....

In heaven?

Hehe,so i'm doing my project solo now(technical metal with a melodic edge).I fell for my rhythm guitarists wife(and her for me).I kept my feelings reserved,but one night while my former guitarist was being a jackass I was invited into bed with her...there we revealed to each other how we felt.

The day after,he went into a crack/coke/pill frenzy and wound up trashing the place(leaving my equipment untouched luckily)and being commited to a rehab for three days(unrelated to me or his wife).

She has decided she dosn't want to take his crap anymore.Apparently it wasn't the first time hes done all that.So she is leaving him soon hopefully.

My question is....can something good come out of this?I mean,even though the circumstances were not the grandest,can a strong relationship be risen from the ashes of a bad one?

Musically,I get more done by myself so its no loss on that front.I did call him to let him know I couldn't do the project with him anymore because of how I felt.It made me sick to watch him be her husband...

Anyway,thanks for any input.

If not, I'd suggest never letting him find out you bedded her before the breakup.

VERY good advice!

I think it's possible to find a diamond hidden in the rough there, you just have to be patient and take a look at everything from as many angles as you can, and just be careful. A lot of emotions are on the line right now, on all parties. Take your time with things to make sure that these feelings are real, and that the emotions aren't making the decisions. Decisions based on emotions can tend to be clouded, and one sided. Thus, leading one to make a hasty and bad decision. I know this first hand. I almost lost the love of my life because of it. Luckily she didn't want to give up that easy, and I had some friends that helped me step back and take a look at what was really going on. Now, our love is stronger than ever, but had I stuck with that decision that was based on emotions, I would have lost the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Whoops I corrected that "being her husband" thing.

Anyway,no the drug/psycho thing was unrelated to me in anyway.In fact,if I had not left in the morning,the course of his entire day might have been different(like time spent jamming instead of getting junk).

After letting him know that I couldn't do the project with him because of how I felt(about his wife)he did go into a typical "i'll kill him if I see him" deal,but I wasn't exactly expecting him to send me a thankyou card or anything.

I don't ever intend to let him know that she and I physically did anything.That would just send him into a deeper depression(or,if in person,a fistfight).

Ive asked her a number of times if what she feels for me is just a product of mistreatment.She doesn't think so,but only time can tell that.

This is so weird. At work today, out of the blue, I started thinking "It's weird no one on GT has ever really mentioned having an affair in the time I've been a member." Really, I did.

Anyhow, I would suggest going for it, if you like her. Just be careful. Maybe wait until she breaks it off with him. You don't wanna mess with an angry cokehead.

Originally Posted by: earthman buckThis is so weird. At work today, out of the blue, I started thinking "It's weird no one on GT has ever really mentioned having an affair in the time I've been a member." Really, I did.

Anyhow, I would suggest going for it, if you like her. Just be careful. Maybe wait until she breaks it off with him. You don't wanna mess with an angry cokehead.

Nicely put... Couldn"t agree more. If you like the woman and vice versa, go for it... Just be really careful the other guy doesn"t find out bout you two getting into bed while she was still his wife. Good luck, my man. :)