Ninja and the Snow Owl

do a song called "Not All About You". It's a work in progress this is a second effort on a song we wrote in about an hour and a half. It needs work but I think we have a strong starting point. What you guys think?

www.soundclick.com/magicninja

Hey man,

I'm really impressed! That lead guitar tone is fantastic, but somehow it doesn't quite fit. I'm thinking more of a bridge pickup lead tone for this song.
But still, wow. :)

Why thank you Julian, I'll give it a try.

Sweet, singing sustain MN...........beautiful tone.

Thanks Dr.F. Tone seems to be my lucky break, it sure isn't skill.

Some have told me you can't make out the lyrics in this song. :confused: I guess it's because I know what they are, so I can make them out. I'll post'em here for you guys maybe it'll give a new perspective. Somebody reading and listening tell me what you think. It's really important.

V1

You're consumed by your own conviction

Blame it on me, that's your prescription

Chorus

It's not all about you

It's not all about you

You say I'm the selfish one, cuz I'm not thinking of you

But you're the reckless one so don't get confused

V2

Gravity doesn't pull towards you, you're not the light
Stop and realize it's not all about you

Chorus

V3

Stop pointing fingers at me, point 'em at the reflection
Don't get devoured by your gluttony

Chorus

Is there no one?

our songs reviewed by Broadjam members



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Review of Song: Not All About You


General Overview


Do you listen to this genre on a regular basis? Yes
What Genre is most appropriate for this song? Rock
What is an appropriate title for this song? Arpegiated Love Song

Song Analysis


Does this song have market potential? 1/5
Quality of Lyrics 1/5
Originality of Song 1/5
Quality of the Hook 1/5
Quality of Instrumentation 4/5
Quality of Arrangement 4/5
Would you like to hear more from this artist? 1/5

Instrumentation


Quality of Vocal Pitch 3/5

Production


Quality of Recording 4/5
Overall Rating 1/5

Positive Comments

well recorded and performed.

Constructive Comments

While well-intentioned it sound like Ozzy meets Kiss and hooks up with a really ****ty Hollywood producer who recommens that they live together for a couple of weeks and write an EPIC love song... (In 1987 this would've been cutting edge and quite popular. Now it brings up memories of mulletets, camaros, and guitars with three necks.)

I'm really sorry for not reviewing your song sooner, Marcos!! :o :o *SORRY*.
And I mean that, because it's a pretty damn good song. I for one could hear the vocals just fine, and the lyrics are very good. The song has a nice bounce to it, and I like the way that your lead guitar parts glide over the beat. My only bugbear is with the vocalist - he's singing in the right register and hitting the right notes, but he needs to work on his vocal texture a bit, soften some of the edges and give those parts in the verses a smoother feel. He still managed to convey the spirit of the lyrics quite well, though. As for the guitars, nice arpeggiated progression ideas, and there were some really cool lead licks. Perhaps you could use an effect of some kind for the last big solo, to give it even more impact.
Don't know whether that helps at all... once again I apologise for being so late in giving you a review, I'm so sorry.

Originally Posted by: magicninjaWhy thank you Julian, I'll give it a try.

Guitar work =awesome
Vocals = Too much of the same tone whoever is singing this track I know can do a lot better coz I sing too c'mon man you can be brilliant! If you sing at your best level honestly you could match G.n'R so go for it!

I agree with Julian but in that song, just mellow the tone a little & work out a real strong awesome bridge....Study GnR they're like this with most songs....Main theme.chourus.only 1 bridge then chourus fade....I think that works in most cases but M.N I'm busy for a few months but by lets say three months I'd collaberate with you...well we've heard each other & yeah Lisa would sing too...your call....staggy :cool:

We pretty much threw this together in a few hours. I liked it quite a bit. It's my friend Lex singing. I'm sure he could change it up a bit. He had more lyrics that he left out of this version.

Staggy: I wouldn't mind throwing down some lead for anyone who likes my tone and and style.


For those who dislike soundclick.

The leads are great, but I don't really like the vocals. You've got a nice tone like Morello's in "Darkness" by Rage.

to me, it sounds like the basic pattern that comes first is on a different tempo than the main stuff and it just sounds off beat with it. other than that i like everything else.

+1 to the awesome tone.

It truely has great potential, but yeah, theres something up about the vocals. they seem kind of whiny, and the same the entire way through the song. If the chorus sounded different from the rest of the song, that would be awesome

Sweet song dude. Reminds me of a boating song. I don't know why. Sorry for the late reply.

I liked the singing, but I didn't like the music very much. Sorry. :(

I never claimed to be able to actually play the guitar. :) My friend just needs to learn to change up his vocal melodies other than that he can find the right hook for a song.

Originally Posted by: magicninjaI never claimed to be able to actually play the guitar. :)

Oh, don't worry about that, man - you can play guitar! :cool:

Originally Posted by: magicninjaI never claimed to be able to actually play the guitar. :) My friend just needs to learn to change up his vocal melodies other than that he can find the right hook for a song.

I wasn't knocking your guitar playing (or at least I didn't mean to). You're very good, it just wasn't the type of music I'd listen to.

I never claimed to be able to play the guitar the way you like. :)

Originally Posted by: "big wheel of soundclick"

Instant first impression - Gary Moore in the eighties with a Floyd-ish vocal (when Floyd are being upbeat).

I like the guitar sound you have for the lead, a little over-effected, but really sweet, and the performance is immaculate (except at the start - I can't tell if you're just being 'loose' or if it's out of time - it's a fine line I know so if anyone asks me I'll say 'loose' :wink: ).

If this song has any faults it's that the instruments supporting the lead don't lift at all in the solo section at the end. It might perhaps be an idea to add another subtle synth line as soon as the vocal stops just to make the ending more of a climax. That's not really a fault though, just what I felt when I listened to it.

Production wise I'd like to hear a louder warmer bass and less reverb on the lead to push it more in my face. A soft chorus might help the vocal as well, but with a voice like yours there's no real need to put anything on it - the Chilli Peppers do this with their vocals: dry and right at the front of the mix.

You can really play guitar though. Nice one.

Overall: Made me feel a bit nostalgic for the eighties. Like it though, and would love to nick your guitars and put them to something.

Hope I haven't offended.

D

Just so I have all my reviews in one spot. I'd rather it be here.