Guitar Tricks Online Guitar Lessons

Shortest Books Ever Written

stackny
Registered User
Joined: 08/19/05
Posts: 785
stackny
Registered User
Joined: 08/19/05
Posts: 785
03/15/2006 6:28 am
"How to start a thread about my personal life without it springing into a massive religious debate" -By 6strngs2Hmbkrs (the title would be longer than the contents)

"Hunting Expeditions" -By Quickfingers (yes I havent forgot the thread that got you your one month suspenion)

I seem to be drawing a blank right now, but Im sure you guys can come up with some good ones.
Dont shoot yourself in the head.
Permalink
# 1
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
03/15/2006 6:57 am
"How To Make Amusing Comments, Witty Retorts and Side-Splitting Jokes" by jiujitsu_jesus (another title longer than the book)

"How To Avoid Embarrassing Yourself" by jiujitsu_jesus

"The Fundamentals of Common Sense" by jiujitsu_jesus

"Sensitivity for Dummies" by jiujitsu_jesus

"When to Shut Up About Yourself" by jiujitsu_jesus

I think I've got the monopoly on short books (except for "Everyman's Pronunciation Guide" by ericthecableguy ;) )

And the longest book ever written...

"Writing Succinctly" by Ponyone (with a long, articulate, broccoli-themed introduction by Jolly McJollyson)
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
Permalink
# 2
ericthecableguy
Registered User
Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
ericthecableguy
Registered User
Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
03/15/2006 4:14 pm
Originally Posted by: jiujitsu_jesus

I think I've got the monopoly on short books (except for "Everyman's Pronunciation Guide" by ericthecableguy ;) )


Yes. Don't ever let me live that down-it's my legacy.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
Permalink
# 3
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
03/15/2006 4:32 pm
"Ways I am cool" by Earthman Buck
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 4
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
03/15/2006 4:32 pm
"Ways I am cool" by Earthman Buck

Yeah, that would be a damn short book, wouldn't it?
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
Permalink
# 5
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
03/15/2006 4:33 pm
Oh, and also "Beliefs stackny and I share" by Earthman Buck.
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 6
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
03/15/2006 4:34 pm
"My Package" Jolly McJollyson
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
Permalink
# 7
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
03/15/2006 4:36 pm
"Things I can tell you about Jolly's package" by Earthman Buck.
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 8
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
03/15/2006 4:37 pm
"People I don't hate" by...*sigh*...acapella rapeme. Stupid internet names.
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
Permalink
# 9
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
03/15/2006 4:51 pm
"Getting Women" by Cryptic Excretions.
The Gods Made Heavy Metal, And They Saw That It Was Good
They Said To Play It Louder Than Hell, We Promised That We Would

Hulk Smash!!

Whatever you do, don't eat limes. A friend of mine ate a lime once and BAM!! Two years later. Herpes.
Permalink
# 10
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
03/15/2006 5:02 pm
Originally Posted by: Cryptic Excretions"Getting Women" by Cryptic Excretions.

Can I get co-author credit on that one?
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 11
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
03/15/2006 5:15 pm
Originally Posted by: earthman buckCan I get co-author credit on that one?

Sorry, it's my own, patented method. I'm giving away the family secret.
The Gods Made Heavy Metal, And They Saw That It Was Good
They Said To Play It Louder Than Hell, We Promised That We Would

Hulk Smash!!

Whatever you do, don't eat limes. A friend of mine ate a lime once and BAM!! Two years later. Herpes.
Permalink
# 12
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
03/15/2006 5:16 pm
Originally Posted by: Cryptic ExcretionsSorry, it's my own, patented method. I'm giving away the family secret.

Ok then.
"How to swipe Cryptic's patented chick-getting method" by Earthman Buck.
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 13
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
Cryptic Excretions
Attorney at Law
Joined: 01/31/04
Posts: 3,055
03/15/2006 5:17 pm
Originally Posted by: earthman buckOk then.
"How to swipe Cryptic's patented chick-getting method" by Earthman Buck.

Perhaps you missed the PATENTED part. You steal my method and I'll take you to court.
The Gods Made Heavy Metal, And They Saw That It Was Good
They Said To Play It Louder Than Hell, We Promised That We Would

Hulk Smash!!

Whatever you do, don't eat limes. A friend of mine ate a lime once and BAM!! Two years later. Herpes.
Permalink
# 14
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
03/15/2006 7:55 pm
Originally Posted by: Cryptic ExcretionsPerhaps you missed the PATENTED part. You steal my method and I'll take you to court.

That's why the book is so short. It's only two words, "You can't."
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
Permalink
# 15

Please register with a free account to post on the forum.

Register