wow look here its an awsome thread

ok guys, this is what going on. I need you to help me out w/ these lyrics....give me some ideas for the rest because im not done with them yet. And dont just say its crap, you have to say why its crap..hehe

I think i know you
ive seen you walking down my road
I think ive seen those light brown eyes
The ones to the neighbor I sold
sometimes i realize
how much ive missed
how much ive lied

And thats as far as I got...if there are any tricks to writing songs besides rhyming words...tell me please ...keep in mind i have to make these lyrics for my music program at school...so no satan stuff

im not a lyriscts my self, but I know that one of the tricks to lyrics is NOT to rhyme words. Btw will you listen to my songs and let me know if it sucks please. Its posted in the listener post.

> I think ive seen those light brown eyes The ones to the neighbor I sold

You gouged out her eyes and sold them to the neighbor and now she's taken them back??
Well heck.. can you blame her.

just right how you feel is about a sertain person or just something going
through your head
:confused:

Originally Posted by: Hambergim not a lyriscts my self, but I know that one of the tricks to lyrics is NOT to rhyme words.

really? im worse than I thought.......

do you guys have anything else that might help me because I have seriouse writer's block.

thanks

sometimes not thinking about it helps. let the song sit for a day or two and dont even think about it. than take another look at it after you have cleared your head.

You can rhyme in songs... thats not a trick all the time. Meaning=don't rhyme in EVERY song EVERY time, but its alright.

I like "light brown eyes" never heard that in a song before. I mean what you need to do it get a little more clever and/or deep. Everything else you wrote was a little cliche. Just put a little bit more of the situation in there, specifics.

And how exactly do I "unclicheafy" my song.....hehe

I'm known as a pretty good songwriter in NYS. And I'de have to say that your thinking about it too much. you cant just say I wana write a song and do it. There has to be some emotional inpiration in order to write a great song. When I say great song. I dont mean what other people think, I mean what you think is successful.

here's a few peices of songs the band I am in is doing right now ( I wrote them, and they are copywritten for all the scumbags out there)

" a scar in my heart has, developed and I swear, you could let me go away
please dont shake me, I promise when I say, please dont touch me till I wake"

"I cant feel the pain, so let me go away
I'm ruined from within, dont tell me to say
there's nothing left to lose or gain, I fade away in the sin
my only helper is my Cane,Let the reconstruction begin"

"do you want me to lie, and say I'm someone else?
only you would let me tear myself apart
only you, only you would let me lie"

those are all inspired songs that I wrote. And I think the lyrics are good, abut the music is awsome.

But anyways, Its all about if your feeling it.........

Well, you really just have to try to be clever. Don't say everything just the way it seems... use metaphors, personify objects to simbolize your emotions... I mean there's all kind of things you can do. I mean having one or two cliche lines in a song won't kill it, but if the whole song is cliche... yeah it won't be so great.