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i usually dont write words so i gotta try..haha

Kutzki
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Joined: 10/29/04
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Kutzki
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Joined: 10/29/04
Posts: 192
12/14/2004 2:51 am
ok here we go first time sorta for writting words so feel free to be brutaly honest with me
k
here it goes:
It was another one of those days
Were nothing new happened on this earth of mine
It was another one of those days
Were even the sun up in its stop did not shine

Maybe it's just one of those years
were all time brings is tears
Maybe it's just one of those years
Were i continued to hide from my fears

WELL
I am gonna make a stand
I will not let time continue to wither BYYYYYYYYY

.........
then i have a solo thats the plan
well tell me whatcha think i know its short but i really dont write songs so just be honest with me :D i can take it :p
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 1
iiholly
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iiholly
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Posts: 2,368
12/14/2004 7:03 pm
Its alright, the chorus would be fine with good vocals and backing. The verse though you should maybe search deeper into what you're trying to say. I'm sure you don't want a song just filled with cliche generalizations.

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# 2
Kutzki
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Kutzki
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12/14/2004 7:39 pm
ya but i wanted it to be the way i wrote it ok
i wanted the cliche generalizations
it gives the song a diffrent vibe then if i was straight
and very specific
its just a song about a waste of a life and this guy just snaps and goes off the deep end thats all
k maybe you didnt understand what i was going for
and i didnt really make anything a chorus or any of that i just wrote it down
hehe :rolleyes:
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 3
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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12/14/2004 10:30 pm
Yeah, not to be mean or anything, but this song is really, really cliche. Umm...and that line about the "sun up in it's stop" doesn't really make sense...
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 4
iamthe_eggman
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iamthe_eggman
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12/15/2004 12:35 am
Originally Posted by: Kutzkiok here we go first time sorta for writting words so feel free to be brutaly honest with me
k

....

well tell me whatcha think i know its short but i really dont write songs so just be honest with me :D i can take it :p[/QUOTE]

Shouldn't have said that with Jolly around! :)

Originally Posted by: KutzkiWere even the sun up in its stop did not shine


Like Jolly said, this doesn't really make sense. Also, "where" and "were" are two different words.

[QUOTE=Kutzki]Maybe it's just one of those years


I like this line.
... and that's all I have to say about that.

[U]ALL[/U] generalizations are [U]WRONG[/U]

[/sarcasm]
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# 5
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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12/15/2004 1:36 am
Originally Posted by: iamthe_eggmanShouldn't have said that with Jolly around!

Psh, like YOU'RE any nicer :rolleyes: .
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 6
Kutzki
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Posts: 192
Kutzki
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12/15/2004 5:39 am
ya the sun in its SPOT my band
haha
and the where is just cus i am stupid
haha
k well cliche or not i think it could be a song with the right music which i am open to someone else writting cus i am working on another songs lyrics haha
and i am bad at it so it needs all my attention
k thanks guys for being honest and seriously whats wrong with cliche :D :cool:
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 7
iiholly
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iiholly
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12/17/2004 4:25 am
you're a dick.. you ask people for opinions and then you totally disregard them and mark them off as "not understanding". I'm not a dumb ass, and I could understand your song. You know why, because a fourth grader could have written that. If you don't know what's wrong with being cliche, you just shouldn't write songs.
Have a nice day!

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# 8
iamthe_eggman
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iamthe_eggman
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12/17/2004 4:29 am
Originally Posted by: iihollyyou're a dick.. you ask people for opinions and then you totally disregard them and mark them off as "not understanding". I'm not a dumb ass, and I could understand your song. You know why, because a fourth grader could have written that. If you don't know what's wrong with being cliche, you just shouldn't write songs.
Have a nice day!


Someone's having a bad day...

You know, if it wasn't you, Holly, your post would have been "sanitized" by a mod by now...
... and that's all I have to say about that.

[U]ALL[/U] generalizations are [U]WRONG[/U]

[/sarcasm]
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# 9
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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12/17/2004 5:39 am
Originally Posted by: iamthe_eggmanSomeone's having a bad day...

You know, if it wasn't you, Holly, your post would have been "sanitized" by a mod by now...

hahaha, you know how true that is? Man, the people who have been here longer really do get a lot more leeway. Probably because the mods know when we're being serious or not.

Right, Eggman?
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 10
iiholly
hmm
Joined: 07/29/02
Posts: 2,368
iiholly
hmm
Joined: 07/29/02
Posts: 2,368
12/17/2004 8:08 am
Yeah well if the dude wasn't so mean, I would have been my usual rosey self.

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# 11
Kutzki
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Kutzki
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12/20/2004 2:58 am
sorry Holy that i am a stupid person
i dono what cliche means ok
i dont write for a reason either
and i didnt mean you dont understand
i mean you dont understand my song is going for cus its not like you heard the music
how could you
i havent really finished writting the music
but since no one likes the song i dont think i am gonna bother writting the music to it
and just stick with writting music
cus after this thread i guess i just ant a english person
sorry if offended anyone
i really didnt mean too
:(
hopefully you can forgive and forget
later
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 12
iamthe_eggman
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iamthe_eggman
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12/20/2004 3:56 am
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonhahaha, you know how true that is? Man, the people who have been here longer really do get a lot more leeway. Probably because the mods know when we're being serious or not.

Right, Eggman? You are my hero.



Thanks man!
... and that's all I have to say about that.

[U]ALL[/U] generalizations are [U]WRONG[/U]

[/sarcasm]
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# 13
frost215
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frost215
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01/07/2005 7:05 am
GDAY DUDE like ya lyrics
hay look i can play guitar very well if u want i can write sum music to it could u send me sum more lyrics as well
any my email is
[email]frost215@tpg.com.au[/email]
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# 14
corndog4000
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corndog4000
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01/08/2005 12:21 am
sun part doesnt make sense. im new to guitar playing but i have been writing since 5th grade
those song werent so great back then though they were more poems that were sung.
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# 15
Hamberg
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Hamberg
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01/19/2005 3:39 am
uhhhhhh

please tell me that someone else realized this...

... that second post by the author of this site are great lyrics and could possiblly make a hit song.....
Bass guitar is the answer to everything
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# 16
Kutzki
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Posts: 192
Kutzki
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Posts: 192
01/27/2005 3:45 am
whatcha sayin hamberg
the frost dude is who?
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 17
Hamberg
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Posts: 343
Hamberg
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Posts: 343
01/27/2005 9:28 pm
Originally Posted by: Kutzkiya but i wanted it to be the way i wrote it ok
i wanted the cliche generalizations
it gives the song a diffrent vibe then if i was straight
and very specific
its just a song about a waste of a life and this guy just snaps and goes off the deep end thats all
k maybe you didnt understand what i was going for
and i didnt really make anything a chorus or any of that i just wrote it down
hehe :rolleyes:


Good lyric
Bass guitar is the answer to everything
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# 18
Kutzki
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Posts: 192
Kutzki
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Posts: 192
01/27/2005 11:26 pm
whatcha mean "good lyric"
good lyric"s" thats what makes good lyrics?
or my other post would be better as lyrics then my original ones?
k whatever its all good
rock on
peace out
When it comes down to it, our guitar's will always be there for us. :rolleyes:
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# 19
Hamberg
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Posts: 343
Hamberg
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Posts: 343
01/28/2005 7:18 am
Originally Posted by: Kutzkiya but i wanted it to be the way i wrote it ok
i wanted the cliche generalizations
it gives the song a diffrent vibe then if i was straight
and very specific
its just a song about a waste of a life and this guy just snaps and goes off the deep end thats all
k maybe you didnt understand what i was going for
and i didnt really make anything a chorus or any of that
i just wrote it down
:rolleyes:


This is a kicksa** for lyrics. I myself don't know how to write lyrics, but I do know whats cool and this is definately it.
Bass guitar is the answer to everything
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# 20

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