It takes 3 chords, 2 fingers and one asshole to play rock'n'roll
Guitar Store Guys.
Is it just me? I refuse to believe I'm the only one, there must be thousands of us out here, whole armies of us who are intimidated by sneering guitar store guys. You know the feeling when you express an interest in that shiny new Les Paul or whatever, they look at you like your dogsh*t, until they see hard cash of course. Why do they insist on waiting until you plug in and start playing then select another guitar and play a piece that Jimmy Page would have trouble playing. They never seem to have a sense of humour, although I suppose one can only hear badly played versions of Stairway To Heaven, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Smoke On The Water or whatever before you face total mental collapse. Why does a single glance from one of these guys turn my fingers into bananas and drive from my memory every thing I've ever learned to play well, admittedly that's a very limited repertoire anyway. I've decided to take my revenge, anytime I go into a store to make a major purchase I will insist on playing the above mentioned songs or whatever else appears to be banned in guitar stores worldwide. Why don't we all do it, if they protest we can make it a condition on which a purchase depends, that is unless you guitar shop guys start being nice to us! Can anyone tell us what are the most frowned upon pieces to play in a guitar store. Maybe a guitar store guy can give us a top 20 plus a list of no, no's. No offence intended guitar store guys, but you do sometimes make us feel like walking right out of your store and going mail order.
# 1
Hey howie!
same problem here...
i have a music shop in my area , where they won't look at you if you dont show them the money...
there is a salesman there, a fat guy without any hair on his head, that can kill you just because you are looking at the guitar.... and every time i'm in this shop i can see him try to show off from his guitar "abilities" ... like once i saw him playing on a sg a piece of gary moore , when there is like 10 kids wathing him with open mouth...
common... give me an exspensive guitar and a bulb amp and i can play better than this fat guy...
same problem here...
i have a music shop in my area , where they won't look at you if you dont show them the money...
there is a salesman there, a fat guy without any hair on his head, that can kill you just because you are looking at the guitar.... and every time i'm in this shop i can see him try to show off from his guitar "abilities" ... like once i saw him playing on a sg a piece of gary moore , when there is like 10 kids wathing him with open mouth...
common... give me an exspensive guitar and a bulb amp and i can play better than this fat guy...
"They think im crazy..
but i know better.
It is not I who am crazy.
It is I who am mad.."
ren hoek
but i know better.
It is not I who am crazy.
It is I who am mad.."
ren hoek
# 2
You have to remember that guitar shop people are often musicians with failing careers. I make a point of finding a shop with cool people and going there. I just stopped going to a shop because one of the salesmen accused me of scratching a bass while I was doing some slapping (some kid probably did it with a pick or something- my fingernails are short and not that hard anyway). I think he was thinking about pressuring me into buying the bass. I left before I said what I was thinking, (or my brother said what he was thinking which would have been FAR more colorful). So when I see one of the other guys who work there around and they ask "why haven't you been back" I'll just say "well, pete accused me of scratching a bass I didn't scratch, and you can tell him he just lost $400 worth of EMG pickups and pre amp I was going to buy there not to mention all the strings I was going to start ordering in bulk."
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 3
I actually get along w/ some of the guys at Guitar Center. Which is pretty strange considering I usually despise guitar salesman. The funniest thing I see when I go in there is all those metal heads in some kind of competition. I'll pick up a guitar and screw around with it and all of a sudden someone has to turn up their amp and try and play as fast as they possibly can. Haha, I just love that. Oh, and I think I've heard the "Enter Sandman" riff and "Crazy Train" more than anything else. But that's just in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. When I lived in PA it was "Hot For Teacher".
Ain't nothin' but a Gear thang, baby!
# 4
The cats at the guitarcenter in my town are pretty cool always helpful and never seemed annoyed even if you ask em a 1000 questions about stuff, and there not about selling the most expensive gear, they'll tell you what's good for what money you've got, but i don't like the little music stores, they act all annoyed if you even ask em a question, to make em get off there stool behind the counter, there's gotta be a heavy sigh or smacking of the lips, I don't even ask to see a guitar at music shops, They eyeball you like your gonna make a break for the door with their guit. In Chicago there are 3 guitarcenters if and i was a small shop and competing with them. i'd certainly treat people like people instead of like animals. If they were smart they would know their attitude is the only reason only one person is in their store at a time.
"Take my hand boss"
# 5
Around here, it's usually the small shops that are the best. You actually get good service, and can (usually) depend on not getting raped when the bill comes in. In fact, it's usually the crappy shops that look at me like a bug on the wall.
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 6
At least here in L.A., CA. Just go into the Sherman Oaks one and try to get help in the first place.
Between the salesman hulking over the Korn-Kids so they don't rip off thier 7-strings(no offense guys!) I just go to this non-chain store in Burbank and just pay a few cents more and have a good time in thier store. The guy at the counter actually is happy you bought stuff there.
But then again, I went to the GC on a weekend day so I should'nt be so pissed?
Between the salesman hulking over the Korn-Kids so they don't rip off thier 7-strings(no offense guys!) I just go to this non-chain store in Burbank and just pay a few cents more and have a good time in thier store. The guy at the counter actually is happy you bought stuff there.
But then again, I went to the GC on a weekend day so I should'nt be so pissed?
# 7
I dont know, I guess you just have to know how to talk to them. Regardless on whether or not you lack certain skills, if you show them that you're very serious and meticulous about choosing your instrument you should have a problem. But thn again, sometimes you just come across these assholes, :eek:. But its true that most small establishments usually tend to give you their personal attention, and sometimes they're are more understanding and down to earth, (but all in all it really depends on where you go.) Ive gotten some really good deals at Marathon Music Center down here in south Florida, everytime I come into this place the guys are very friendly and they always go out of their way to help. Although we think we've found the perfect instrument as the years progress, i think its safe to say that we are never really satisfied, theres always that driving force inside of us.
-Joseph, :).
[Edited by Joseph on 02-01-2001 at 05:14 PM]
-Joseph, :).
[Edited by Joseph on 02-01-2001 at 05:14 PM]
www.ragmagazine.com
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
# 8
I totally despise playing in music stores because of the gunslinger mentality of everyone there. The least impressive thing someone can do while testing gear is play drawn out guitar solos. (a lead or two is sufficient)When I go into stores to try guitars and amps, I play whatever is the strangest, most unique thing i can come up with at the moment to test the feel and response of the equipment.
Also, I find it very rude when music store employees play for me. 9 out of 10 times, i am absolutely taken aback by their lack of talent. The idea of 'hey look at me play' is such a horrible and pathetic thing that i can barely hold my food down as an onlooker in music stores.
PonyOne is very right, and i am so amused by his post earlier. Right on, my friend.
The strangest looks and the most mystery appeal is given to the guy who hauls his Les Paul in to plug into a Mesa, tune up, and strum an E while tweaking quietly for half an hour.
Atomic
Also, I find it very rude when music store employees play for me. 9 out of 10 times, i am absolutely taken aback by their lack of talent. The idea of 'hey look at me play' is such a horrible and pathetic thing that i can barely hold my food down as an onlooker in music stores.
PonyOne is very right, and i am so amused by his post earlier. Right on, my friend.
The strangest looks and the most mystery appeal is given to the guy who hauls his Les Paul in to plug into a Mesa, tune up, and strum an E while tweaking quietly for half an hour.
Atomic
# 9
Originally posted by PonyOne
-guitar part to the very last section of Mr. Bungle's "Goodbye Sober Day"
Whoa, another Bungle fan. They're my biggest influence.
Atomic
# 10
Hmmm.... music to make them leave you alone...
Well, some of my favorite "noodlings" to keep people away or make them think I'm a much better bassist than I reall am:
-Sliding harmonics... on a fretted bass
-"______________" (insert Primus tune here)
-Obnoxious high speed funk bass. Toss in "avove the nut" rakes for best results
-repeatedly bend the piss out of tapped or artificial harmonics
-try and figure out which note is going to make [u]every[/u] acoustic guitar in the place resonate (open "A" is a good place to start)
-the Ozzy/ Primus version of "NIB" is usually good for a "turn it down!"
-Ask to try out the 1,200 watt Sun Head into 2 4x12 cabs then tweak the graphic eq for 45 minutes. Observe to the employees that you only wish you could turn it up to where the tubes start to work their magic.
Just a side note, many guitar shop types are infuriated by the idea of a bassist who's faster/better than they are. Use this to it's full potential my friends.
Well, some of my favorite "noodlings" to keep people away or make them think I'm a much better bassist than I reall am:
-Sliding harmonics... on a fretted bass
-"______________" (insert Primus tune here)
-Obnoxious high speed funk bass. Toss in "avove the nut" rakes for best results
-repeatedly bend the piss out of tapped or artificial harmonics
-try and figure out which note is going to make [u]every[/u] acoustic guitar in the place resonate (open "A" is a good place to start)
-the Ozzy/ Primus version of "NIB" is usually good for a "turn it down!"
-Ask to try out the 1,200 watt Sun Head into 2 4x12 cabs then tweak the graphic eq for 45 minutes. Observe to the employees that you only wish you could turn it up to where the tubes start to work their magic.
Just a side note, many guitar shop types are infuriated by the idea of a bassist who's faster/better than they are. Use this to it's full potential my friends.
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 11
Come on guitar store guys,some of you must read this, you're getting your butts kicked here. Are you going to take this lying down? Are you busy in front of your mirror practising your sneers? Give us a list of the top 20 tunes you hate to hear in your stores, maybe you could tell us the tunes you would prefer to hear. Have you had your ass well and truly fried in a gunlinging kind of way, or has Ponyone been in your store and taken off with your girlfriend, would you have noticed anyway? What's the weirdest request you've had? Any famous guitarist been into your store? Do you think we're being hard on you? Did you really evolve arms and legs and crawl right to the nearest guitar store to commence employment or are you all ex members of Himmlers SS laying low until the heat dies down? I know which option my money is on, I bet when our backs are turned your stores reverberate to the sound of Wagner and marching jackboots.
It takes 3 chords, 2 fingers and one asshole to play rock'n'roll
# 12
Funny you should mention Fender, I just tried out a DeArmonde Pilot Bass at my least favorite guitar shop in the area. I only went there to waste time and in the off chance they'de have control knobs that fit the posts on EMG pots. Anyway, this $250 DeArmonde kicked the snot out of the $900 American Standard Jazz Bass sitting next to it. The action and feel was impecible and the unplugged tone was alot better. To top it off it had a 3 band active EQ compared to passive on the Fender.
I don't agree with you whole heartedly on the Fender thing: I own four of them and I love them all dearly, but it's still funny that their "crap" line is better than their top of the line these days. It just goes to show that in the long run, nobody ever really learned anything from their CBS days.
Now if only the DeArmonde wasn't so freakin' ugly...
PS: How would you feel about somebody playing the guitar parts to "Sweet Chile 'O Mine" or SRV's "Marry Had a Little Lamb" on a four string bass?
I don't agree with you whole heartedly on the Fender thing: I own four of them and I love them all dearly, but it's still funny that their "crap" line is better than their top of the line these days. It just goes to show that in the long run, nobody ever really learned anything from their CBS days.
Now if only the DeArmonde wasn't so freakin' ugly...
PS: How would you feel about somebody playing the guitar parts to "Sweet Chile 'O Mine" or SRV's "Marry Had a Little Lamb" on a four string bass?
Raskolnikov
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Careful what you wish for friend
I've been to Hell and now I'm back again
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 13
Ummm, I guess I know what you are talking about but heaps of music store guys where I go are actually nice. There's one place i go to where if you want to try something out, they automatically hook you up to the PRS custom 24 and about foru amps if you want. Well, maybe not that far, but they never care if you pick up the good **** and play it. Also, while they do sit around playing guitar a lot, they never show off, more they seem to want you to join in most of the time.
Hmm, annoying things to test. I reckon that testing tube amps feedback ability is probably going to piss people off. If you walk in, hook up all these effects, then just put the guitar next to the amp and use the tremolo arm a bit while cranking volume might work. Also, random chromatic runs at slow speed with a heavy emphasis on tremolo, vibrato, changing tone nobs, changing picks. Maybe seeing how well you can play their Gibsons behind your head without a strap....
Hmm, annoying things to test. I reckon that testing tube amps feedback ability is probably going to piss people off. If you walk in, hook up all these effects, then just put the guitar next to the amp and use the tremolo arm a bit while cranking volume might work. Also, random chromatic runs at slow speed with a heavy emphasis on tremolo, vibrato, changing tone nobs, changing picks. Maybe seeing how well you can play their Gibsons behind your head without a strap....
"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not that widely reported".
# 14
Bwahahaha! You shouldn't have said that 'cause now I'm actually gonna go to Guitar Center and try it. Oh my God! I can't stop laughing thinking about how funny this is gonna be when they see me twirling a $4000 guitar in the air like I'm back in the '80s.
Ain't nothin' but a Gear thang, baby!
# 15
# 16
Umm, being a bastard has nothing to do with being a commie. It's like calling them gay, it doesn't affect their personality. In fact, if they were commies, they would give you the guitar "to each according to his needs", and all that. Oh how I wish it worked that way in music stores. Ever notice how the people buying the expensive guitars always look like losers, while I sit there drooling over everything I can't afford?
"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not that widely reported".
# 17
The loosers always get the best somehow..
one day i was at the shop, with my father and his friend, who wanted a guitar for his kid, and there i saw a guy, in his mid 20's probably, with his mother, and she says to the salseman: "he wants a new guitar so show him something..."
and they talk and i just somehow realize through their talking that this will be the 3 guitar that woman buys to her son...
now i live in israel... and here only the pro players or reach people can afford 3 guitars..
i can't believe it! i saw him playing and he doesnt need even one guitar... but he's got his mother who will buy him a guitar anytime he wants it, while i have to work and save for a lot of time to get one
one day i was at the shop, with my father and his friend, who wanted a guitar for his kid, and there i saw a guy, in his mid 20's probably, with his mother, and she says to the salseman: "he wants a new guitar so show him something..."
and they talk and i just somehow realize through their talking that this will be the 3 guitar that woman buys to her son...
now i live in israel... and here only the pro players or reach people can afford 3 guitars..
i can't believe it! i saw him playing and he doesnt need even one guitar... but he's got his mother who will buy him a guitar anytime he wants it, while i have to work and save for a lot of time to get one
"They think im crazy..
but i know better.
It is not I who am crazy.
It is I who am mad.."
ren hoek
but i know better.
It is not I who am crazy.
It is I who am mad.."
ren hoek
# 18
Still no posts from any guitar store guys, I'm disappointed, defend yourselves, surely one of you has learned how to write ! Come on crawl out from under your rocks, show us you are sentient beings.
It takes 3 chords, 2 fingers and one asshole to play rock'n'roll
# 19
Maybe I will write back when I become a guitar store guy. I am looking in a couple of music stores in which to work to suport my university while I attempt to start getting some gigs. Never fear though, I will never become someone who always shows off, as I don't have the talent.
"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not that widely reported".
# 20