Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.
Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and
kick him in the stomach. Then buy him some ice cream.

Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day.
Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate
eats eggs, yell at him and call him a cannibal.

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.
When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head,
and moan.

Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names.
Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato
from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your
roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He
just didn't belong."