Defending your equipment from the well intentioned

We've all alteast heard of drinks being poored into boards, speakers being knocked over, and then of course we have the people who want to play your stuff. Hell, my five string and amp currently sport a nice layer of dried out beer slime. Any pointers, horror stories, or thoughts on this subject?

Get a stun gun. One with about 200,000 volts should suffice. After getting shoked by that, no one will even think about coming near your gear again.

actually, I have a friend, we call him "Ug," he usually does a pretty good job. Actually, I should make it a little clearer, I could put a "Violators will be Ugged" sign on my cab...

Only people i let touch my stuff is people with their own gear of equal or greater value that i can take if they break my stuff :)

Also i ususally dont let non-musicians play my guitar cause they usually end up breaking strings, and i hate breaking a set of 27 dollar elixirs :P

Elixers are great strings...

You know what a good method for keeping morons away from gear???? A good old fashioned foot in the face it usually detures most people for the ones that need more of a reason not to touch your stuff you pull a keith richards and hit them on their head with a friggin guitar (preferably a lesser P.O.S guitar one of your "friends" owns)

Most people would probably prefer a more diplomatic approach than a foot in the face.

Some people just won't listen, and that is about what it takes-a foot in the face. Just the other day someone tried to slam my guitar, OOOOOOOOOOOOOh no, that ain't going to happen. You just got to put your foot down.

A good glare always helps. I've found that sometimes you just have to go right up to somebody and say "GET THE HELL OFF OF THE STAGE!" Otherwise, they'll be up on stage doing "guest vocals" or something every time you turn your back.

Originally posted by Fender Man
Just the other day someone tried to slam my guitar . . .

What do you mean? Somebody just grabbed it and was going to smash it over the bar?

Ras I'm telling you foot in the face, FOOT-IN-THE-FACE!!! It always stops them.

yes, but why put the effort into kicking somebody when I can calmly walk to the mic and say "Ug, please report to the stage and kindly remove this... person from my sight." A good "Ugging" is far more severe than any "foot in the face" I could deliver.

yeah, A dude picked it up, and almost slammed it on the ground. Wasn't going to let that happen. Would you?

That's definately foot-in-tha-faceable.

If someone tried to do that to one of my basses... well, I really don't like to think about that sort of thing. I'm not a violent man by nature, but I will make exceptions if I have to.

Nope, I definitely wouldn't let that happen to my beloved guitar. I'd have to seriously bust some heads.

ok, since this is about defending your stuff I've just got to post this. On Monday night I played an acoustic set at a Bar/Grill thing. It was a really good set and the people liked it a lot. Yet..... during my last song I saw this frail little Chinese man eyeing me oddly on the side of the stage. When I finished and said my closing thing, the guy walked onstage and up to me. "Ya mi chi chu" he rambled some chinese. "Excuse me?" I replied. "Ya mi chi chu" "Ok... i said. I have to go" So i stood up and the guy grabbed my guitar and sat on the stool. Then he put out his hand requesting my pick! AH!!!!! It was my brand new Taylor 614ce. He was about to die!!! Luckily, the guy in charge of the mixer kicked him out because he started arguing in chinese.... apparently he didn't even know how to speak english. And even better, my baby was not scratched by his button down shirt or huge beltbuckle. Phew!

-Evan

One time at an open mic a guy wandered onto stage and ripped my mic off of my stand (as in every part of the stand moved from him taking the mic out the wrong way). Luckily, nothing was damaged, even the clippy thing, however I was especially not happy because I had the tube for my talk box carefully arranged (some of you know what I'm talking about). But anyway, I was too far away at the time to do anything but watch in horror with the host drummer (wasn't our turn to be up). The guy who did it was a regular; when I went and put the mic back on the stand I gave him a look which said "it's ok this time, but you know better now, so next time you're a dead man. He hasn't bothered since.

Especially for that kind of people I have a very special extra guitar, look out says a button "I'm electric."
Yeh that's what they want I think. The next moment you get a very special effect, every show a different effect and no extra costs.
I love it....

One time, I let one of my friends play one of my acoustics, and had stupidly let him have a can of coke earlier. Well, being the dumb@$$ that he is, he says, "I wonder what would happen if I poured some soda in this little hole right here." And he pours half of the damn soda into the sound hole. Quickly after this, he got a relatively large can of whoop-ass opened upon him. I haven't really seen him since then....