Hey Hunter --

Here's something to keep in mind...

Back in college I had a band where I decided to play bass and make that the dominant instrument over guitar, and made the guitarist the backup for what I was doing.

1. At some point I learned that bass frequencies don't quite materialize until you are farther away from the amp. I was of course standing right in front of my bass amp, and constantly struggling to get enough low-end. LIttle did I know the bass frequencies were something like 6 feet in front of the amp.

2. Another MAJOR thing with bass tone (and apparent volume of the bass guitar) is that the softer you play your bass, the more low frequency rumble you will get out of it. I was working against that principle by beating the crap out of the strings and STILL wondering why it kept getting less and less low-end / apparent volume. Totally unintuitive.

3. One more major factor in bass guitar volume is the room you're in, and where the amp / cabinet is placed. Bass frequencies are DRASTICALLY different depending on where you stand. So your drummer, for example, might be freaking out that it's going to give him diarrhea if you don't turn down, but you yourself can barely hear it! So "volume settings" on the amp aren't going to tell you any of that. If you're in a corner or smaller room you might get extreme build-ups of low frequencies, or if the walls are made of plaster they will resonate a lot more than brick, etc. All of these things affect the sound in a huge way when you're playing bass!

The truth is you'll all just have to experiment in the room and find something that works for everyone.

One thing I know for sure -- if I ever play in a band again I'll wear my Vic Firth Headphones. I even wear them at loud concerts or any time I'm anywhere near a drummer. Too many years spent in a small room with cymbals...

https://www.amazon.com/Vic-Firth-Stereo-Isolation-Headphones/dp/B0002F519I

They're much easier than putting earplugs in and out when you need to talk to someone or hear the natural sound. Plus, hey, you can plug them into a mixer...

Even after a few minutes of band practice in a garage with no hearing protection, the ability to judge sound volumes and quality is diminished. You'll have temporary (and hopefully not permanent) hearing damage, so any arguments about volume or tone or the mix are going to be difficult.

-Carl.