Originally Posted by: theMolster

I'm having massive problems with my confidence when it comes to playing with other people. As a bit of background, I joined the site a couple of months ago after around 18 months trying to learn myself and I have noticed an improvement in my playing and knowledge of music theory. Oh yeah, I'm 52 years old (just for info).

Hey Molster,

I totally identify with this. Anxiety can be tough! But it's very normal for this to happen. I have a common problem of my mind going blank when under pressure. I especially find that visual input distracts me from thinking, so it helps to close my eyes when I need to stay focused. If I am mixing music I will cover my eyes with my hands. I bring this up because often it's the visual of an AUDIENCE looking at me that completely distracts me from what I was trying to focus on (which is either words or music).

Something that helped me back in the day when playing live with bands was to dress up in strange costumes or wear funny sunglasses. This doesn't work for everyone, of course, especially if you're playing serious music which doesn't call for that -- but it immediately frees you up and takes all the pressure off. I found that once I got that initial "tension breaker" done I felt much more relaxed and could do anything.

I notice a lot of bands, right before going on stage, will do a sort of "psyche up" session. They jump around, act goofy, sing funny things, just to break out of that tension and nerves. Once you get in that mode before getting in front of people, it frees you up from that self-consciousness and anxiety, at least to a degree.

Of course, some people don't seem to get that at all. It's different for everyone.

It also just seems to get better with experience of having an audience (or even just a few people) watching you. Just doing it a bunch of times makes it easier.

The first few times I played in front of an audience as a teenager were a trainwreck. My first show, the first song started and I stepped on my guitar cable, it popped out of the guitar, loud buzzing sounds. I tried to shut my amp off to plug it back in, but accidentally kicked my amp which had a spring reverb in it. "BOOM!" I went behind the curtain and hid for the rest of the song.

The second time, I sang and played guitar with my band and my whole body tensed up and I couldn't even sing a single note in tune no matter what I did. My voice sounded bizarre to me singing through a PA for the first time. I remember just sweating and seeing all those faces staring at me! Hahaha.

Anyway, the point is, it gets better the more you do it! :)

-Carl.