HOW COME MY SONGS USUALLY ARE DEPRESSION

HEY ALL U MUSIC FANS OUT THERE IM A FAN OF METALLICA AND IN MY OWN BAND B.D.E.D BUT I GOT 1 PROBLEM IM ONLY 14 TURNING 15 AND WHEN I USUALLY WRITE MY SONGS DEY HAVE DEPRESSION WORDS IN IT IS IT JUST USUALL OR IS IT JUST ME I HAV BELOW ONE OF MY FIRST SONGS I HAV EVA WRITTEN AND IF ANE 1 OUT DERE DAT CAN HELP ME PLZZ FEEL FREE 2.....

DREAMS OF SILENCE,
MAKE THEM REAL,
MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE,
YOURE ALWAYS THEIR

PEOPLE DYING,
LOVESOME CRYING,
PEOPLE AHEAD WITH,
THEIR ARMS WIDE OPEN

WORLD WAR 2,
A FEWSOME SCORE,
GUNS AND LAUGHTER,
THE PEOPLES DAUGHTER
HELL YEAH!

CHORUS/ RYMTH 2

SLITHEREN TO LOVE,
SLITHEREN TO HATE,
SLITHEREN TO LIFE
THAT CRAWLS THROUGH THE NITE

LOVE THE ONCE,
LOVE THE TWICE,
LOVE TOO MUCH,
YOULL ROLL THE DICE
WOAH,OH WOAH,
WOAH WOAH

2ND VERSE/ RYMTH 3

TEARS IN HEAVEN,
HIGHWAY STAR,
MAKE OUR WAY TO,
OURKAZZA

LONELYSOME,
DISCOURAGE,
ADD UP TO,
OUR MISERY YOL"

SONGS FOR MEMORY,
TOO MANY FOR US,
JUST LIKE THESE PEOPLE,
THEY SMOKE THE GRASS

CHORUS

SLITHEREN TO LOVE,
SLITHEREN TO HATE,
SLITHEREN TO LIFE
THAT CRAWLS THROUGH THE NITE

LOVE THE ONCE,
LOVE THE TWICE,
LOVE TOO MUCH,
YOULL ROLL THE DICE
WOAH,OH WOAH,
WOAH WOAH
YEAH!

You have a gift for expressing your feelings. Thats something worthwhile. I think you're dealing with the emotional turmoil that is the curse of adolescense for anyone your age. It seems like all the ills of the world affect you personally. Hang in there, this is just Nature's way of opening you up to other people's point of view, so you can grow into manhood with some sensitivity to others. It can make things rough for awhile; another lesson to be learned is keeping things in perspective. You can't solve all of the world's problems, but maybe you can help out a bit in your part of it.

its simple. very very simple. its easy thats all and its better then writing about sunshine and daisies.

I've always found minor keys easier to play in. I'm a cellist as well and I play in a quartet, for a while we were doing loads of Mozart in major keys and I said 'Cant we do something minor and depressing?' I always find it easier to let the music speak to me if its minor and emotional.

Plus if you have a nice guitar part in a minor key you can actually feel good about listening to it. The Smashing Pumpkins write some ****ing miserable lyrics but their music always awakens a good feeling inside me. I dont think thats the idea of their work, but everyones music affects people in different ways.

Music is about expressing feelings. Also, you tend to play and write what you listen to. Listening to a lot of dark music and being a little depressed will lead you to sound sad and dark. If you are a happy guy and you listen to barney's songs, you'll sound like some kid's singer in your songs. (that's quite a fast explanation, but it's true a lot of the time)

Originally posted by LoserClint
english class, dude.

i second that emotion

Caps lock too, buddy

hey thanx alot to all use ppl who replied to me my songs do hav sum awesome riffs in it the one im doing at the moment is like a hardcore rock/punk song singing about a guy who cant walk and wants to get around the world but cant sounds awesome wif da music and i hav sum mint lead bits into but still 1 question i need answered is when u hav a rythm and lead how does it work out?

Originally posted by LoserClint
english class, dude.
I missed the motion.. but I missed it. Also, whoever said right about happy stuff is not a good thing... well to me you are wrong. Cause there is a whole lot of depressing ****e out there, so there's nothing wrong with a nice frolocking in the daisies song.

im going to go through and through each verse and tell you exactly why you should take english class over, and read some poetry.

for starters-
DREAMS OF SILENCE,
MAKE THEM REAL,
MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE,
YOURE ALWAYS THEIR
^^^^
now, this one is not your worst one, but it has no meaning to it. your asking them to dream 'nothing' forever. its also uninteresting. next!

PEOPLE DYING,
LOVESOME CRYING,
PEOPLE AHEAD WITH,
THEIR ARMS WIDE OPEN

people dying, lovesome crying? do you know what lovesome means? its like a feeling of affection, if somebody is dying, why are they affectionately crying? affectionately crying is like when somebody says "will you marry me?" not "your son has been killed in a car accident" crying. People up ahead with their arms wide open, well, thats going to make people think "Where is he going here? He mumbled about some dream of nothing and now he's babbling about death". Next!

WORLD WAR 2,
A FEWSOME SCORE,
GUNS AND LAUGHTER,
THE PEOPLES DAUGHTER
HELL YEAH!

for somebody who wasnt alive, and his dad wasnt even alive at this time, i question why you bring up the fragility of world war 2. This war [u]ENDED[/u] 57 years ago, any meaning of relevency to it now is meaningless. its not a current event, thats like making a song about the civil war and trying to be emotional about it. "Fewsome" isnt a word, as far as i know, but maybe you meant "Few Some" as in 2 words, which would interpret into something like "not many" and "score" as in either "Conflicts" as in "settle the score", which is what im guessing you meant when you wrote the gibberish. Guns and laughter? Guns yes, but laughter? c'mon, people werent having the time of their lives during world war 2. The people's daughter? Now this is terrible. I know im gonna get a warning from lal or lord but paaaleaase! By "the people's daughter" im to assume you mean presidents daughter, as "the people" dont have a daughter, but the "people's representative", the pres, does.
puke! Next!

SLITHEREN TO LOVE,
SLITHEREN TO HATE,
SLITHEREN TO LIFE
THAT CRAWLS THROUGH THE NITE

what sick fantasy you have of the Harry Potter Series, i do not know. Slitheren, can you tell me what that means? Its not english.

LOVE THE ONCE,
LOVE THE TWICE,
LOVE TOO MUCH,
YOULL ROLL THE DICE
WOAH,OH WOAH,
WOAH WOAH

change a few words in here and this one is actually a decent heavy metal verse. change it to
"Love me once!
Love me twice!
Love me baby
n'roll the dice!
OOOOWWWWW!"
or something like that, keep that one in your scrap book.

TEARS IN HEAVEN,
HIGHWAY STAR,
MAKE OUR WAY TO,
OURKAZZA

I would not reccommend using "tears in heaven" in your song, its a cheap rip-off. other than that, that one is decent.

LONELYSOME,
DISCOURAGE,
ADD UP TO,
OUR MISERY YOL"

okay now your just making up words.

"SONGS FOR MEMORY,
TOO MANY FOR US,
JUST LIKE THESE PEOPLE,
THEY SMOKE THE GRASS"

this is making me sick.

overall-

Check out the SONGWRITING section in here, and dont make up words like "Lonelysome" lonesome works though. about your other post "how does it work with rhythm and lead going at the same time" or whatever, im guessing you guys are having a fantasy band where you all talk about it because you'd know how it goes if you've ever done it.

now this song [u]makes me sick[/u], i feel like throwing up in the toilet after hearing the words. im sorry if i sound mean, but pleasssssse proofread your songs before you let em out, seemed like you made the lyrics up as you were typing.

That was harsh, but it was mostly constructive criticism I guess. Also, dude check out songwriting stuff on the net, but don't let people's systems or whatever limit you. There is no one way to write song, and people who think that are full of shiot! Down with the system!?!

Originally posted by Incidents Happen
...I know im gonna get a warning from lal or lord but paaaleaase...

LMAO@Incidents Happen!! :D

Aw, not all 14-year-olds are as mature and wise in the ways of the world as our own IH. Sure, Isaac can't spell, (I took that phrase to be "Guns and [u]slaughter[/u]", and "their" should have been "there"), but hey, the lyrics in most of the songs these days aren't any better. Which may explain why I spend so much of my listening time digging through my old vinyl. ;)

My first post was addressing what I took to be the main part of the question, ie."IS IT JUST USUALL OR IS IT JUST ME". As an illustration of the writer's frame of mind, its informative. As a song lyric, I agree with the assessment that it needs a [u]lot[/u] of work.

look im sorry to all da ppl out dere who hav read dat song i read it ova myself and it sounds like **** but look its my first song and is wat started me out so plzz give me a chance i have written my second song which i will put below i hope it is betta i actually worked it all our wif my band and plzzz m8 my band ante no fantasie band it rox i was just asking for ane tips man well here goes my song

FATAL INSTINCTS

spineless from the endless start,
take my life until i part,
in some peoples face i see,
sorrow and their inner grief

saying, take me to the place i wana be....
saying, i dont want to see fatal instincts..
i just want to be happy
and run free around the world
( but i guess i can't)(x2) M im spineless yeah

been crawling from my start to finish
taking my life to the limits,
trying my best to play my part,
then he pulled the trigger
It snapped my spine- back into place,
im gonna be here for some time
yeah yeah fatal instincts (x2)
just ante the way to live......

well i hope dis is betta it has sum mean riffs in it which i am pleased wif and im gonna check out da songwriting thingy 2day i hope it works

Maybe you should consider rewriting you songs. Getting rid of all the useless stuff that doesn't make any sense.

yeah i know, that one wasnt much better.
lol.

only difference was no caps lock made it look more friendly.

[u]useless[/u]

edit:

However, if you PROOFREAD your material, you might end up with a 2 or 3 minute song that some freaks might like.



[Edited by Incidents Happen on 08-06-2002 at 11:57 AM]

FREAK!

lol

yeah, you'd have to be nutty to find an emotional connection with that one.

I feel the connection the song is about SEX! Watch out for flying objects!

hmm
i wont close that thread for now cause its funny as hell
but Incidents happens, please be nice ok?

lol

hey, all i did was point out what he should do so his songs aren't pointless.

But if you want me to fake a smile and say its a great song, i'll do that (because im a nice guy :D).


edit-
okay, here's where im going to give credit where credit is due (to please zeppelin's peace core;))

Now, i know music is nowhere near as good as it used to be, as far as lyrics especially. And i do credit you for giving lyrics a shot. Thats something many guitar players don't even go into.
Here's a thing to think about. Two minds work better than 1, if one of your band members is creative, work with him for some lyrics, he'll tell you what he doesnt like, what sounds cool, and while you cant let him roll you over, a 2nd opinion is always nice (to have), no matter if its nice or not (which is why some would say i was harsh, because i know that you have some ideas in there but you have to express them in a more poet-styled way; someone will say "you can make music however you want" but really if it has no form, no one will listen to it.
Now, i don't apologize for my critisism, well maybe for the 2nd song (which was better...well,still needed some form work, but was getting better), and it is expected for a 1st song to not sound that great at first, but alteration is the key here, if you alter that first song, tweak things here and there until they fit (alot of tweaking, but you have the ideas), i can tell you right now that you just might have something some nu-metal freaks like. Fortunately for the public of America, word has it that Nu-Metal is dying.

But it's like bobby knight, don't listen to him when he says "you suck" listen to him when he tells you [u]why[/u]. That was not directed at you personally, i heard that on "Season on the Brink".

But keep working at it

[Edited by Incidents Happen on 08-06-2002 at 02:51 PM]