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light487
Forum Administrator
Joined: 07/14/07
Posts: 849
light487
Forum Administrator
Joined: 07/14/07
Posts: 849
01/09/2008 9:01 am
Great song man.. I really enjoyed listening to that.. It has a freshness to it that a lot of songs on the radio and at gigs these days just don't have. I noticed a few faults in the song of course but none that are all that terrible anyway and one of them is just a matter of singing practise or lessons if she isn't already taking lessons. I'm sorry but I had to check out one of the other songs on there.. I know you said not to and now I know why.. but at least by listening to that I can hear how much the singer has improved so this issue will fix itself in its own time.. no rush.. part of the charm of the song is that everyone is so young and fresh.

The song's lyrics are structured and well written for the most part.. I did notice the singer baulk on a couple of words though, which tends to indicate to me that the word she is trying to sing is not quite right. May be the lyricist tried too hard to stay within the structure of the lyrics.. like tried too hard to make something rhyme.. or may be it's simply a matter of syllable count in the line.. if it lacks the same line structure as the previous did at that point in the previous verse, then possibly it is throwing the singer off and out of her groove for a split second. Anyway.. it's obvious enough to notice but didn't heavily detract from the song.

As far as your work in this song, it's a shame that I didn't hear more of you. It's also wonderful to see that you didn't feel the need to force a long guitar solo into the track as many new guitarists do.. I know, I'm one of them.. :) lol.. I would have liked a little solo though.. may be either 8 or 12 measures in length.. just to reinforce the melody through a different medium and also to add a little break from the singing. In the parts that you did play, I really liked it. The parts you played were tight and relevant to the context of the song at that point.

All in all, like I said at the start, I enjoyed the song immensely. :cool:
light487
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