this is a song i wrote for my band

i wrote this song...it sounds pretty good with the music...i need help coming up with a name for it...i have a show at the end of the month and i don;t want to say "oh hey our song doesn;t have a title...hope u like it" well tell me what u think.


My depression is like cancer, i need pills to help me out.
all the days of therapy, and i am still in doubt.
I've taken my daily dosage, let the world catch up with me.
I've fallen behind again, maybe one day they will see.
but I'm leaving you tomorrow, leaving everything behind.
taking back my memories, taking back what is mine.


Suicidal notes, gonna get put down,
runaway from home, leave this rotten town.
Never coming back, my life here is through,
I've taken all my pills, now I'm leaving you.


As the tears from my guitar, fall without a sound.
I trip into the darkness, on the wetness of the ground.
Rise upon my feet, runaway in fear.
i see the lighted window, the end is getting near.
so stop me if you will, for now is time to die.
with the bullet in my chamber, i say to you goodbye.


Suicidal notes, gonna get put down,
runaway from home, leave this rotten town.
Never coming back, my life here is through,
I've taken all my pills, now I'm leaving you.




i'm thinkin about addin more to it...idk...u tell me

Well it's kinda cliche (meaning hide it from Holly), but I think you did a pretty good job of it.

As for the title.... "Leaving You"?

Your one sick puppy!
You need to get a life.
Life is too precious to throw away.
Start living and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Life is what you make it.

A good title for your song is "Dead, Not Gone".

Originally Posted by: SongmanYour one sick puppy!
You need to get a life.
Life is too precious to throw away.
Start living and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Life is what you make it.

A good title for your song is "Dead, Not Gone".

Uhh, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I doubt that this is autobiographical. You might be a little harsh here. Plus, that sort of commentary does not help anyone in the grips of a depression. (trust me on this!)

As fas as a title, I have no idea why, but when I read it, I thought 'Black flies..." It may not be a good title but that's the image that popped in my head.

If you are feeling down and this song is reflective as to what's going on in your head, talk to somebody and hang in there. :)

Songs are supposed to make people think.....you're not supposed to evaluate the sanity or insanity of the actual song-writer! Feelings cover a wide spectrum....I think that you did an excellent job.

I think it should be titled...."Bitch"

Originally Posted by: rustynutsSongs are supposed to make people think.....you're not supposed to evaluate the sanity or insanity of the actual song-writer! Feelings cover a wide spectrum....I think that you did an excellent job.

Agreed. Songs, like stories, are an expression of an idea not a screaming admission as to what might be going on in your own life or your own head.

Originally Posted by: rustynutsSongs are supposed to make people think.....you're not supposed to evaluate the sanity or insanity of the actual song-writer! Feelings cover a wide spectrum....I think that you did an excellent job.

I agree too however we generally write about what we are familiar with.

As for the song. I think it's pretty good. I have a problem with "with the bullet in my chamber, i say to you goodbye" Perhaps " As darkness falls upon me, it's time to say goodbye" Reason being it speaks of overdosing and then they shoot themself? Maybe I missed something.

To add to it! You might turn this around by adding say something along the lines of. Someone saving this soul. Say you go along the lines of my above suggestion in the next verse you could go with As things are growing blacker my pulse begins to fade the hand of an angel reaches into my grave. and so on. But the idea is a saved soul and a turn in the impending doom. The song can still be hard and dark but not so negative.

Hey I'm an old guy who has experienced depression in my past. I just don't like to give ideas to those in trouble.

Song Titles:
Depression
The Letter
Next Life :(

Nice rhyme scheme.

I wrote a similar one years back when I was feeling sorry for myself over a bitch. Then as I wrote it I realized how stupid I sounded and actally wrote a pretty cool tune in d flat


Twisted. Copyright 1994 Funkn' little groove music


I think it's time, for you to take a stand

Show a little backbone, and prove you are a man

Hold fast to your ideas, be strong in your mind

Is it what you're looking for?

Is it that hard to find?

Twisted!
(it doesn't have to be this way)
Twisted!
(It's right there in your face!)

Twisted!
(If you look then you will find)

Twisted!
(It was right there all the time)

Sighing in the darkness, contemplating death

But is it really bad enough, to take your dying breath?

Lookinn' to your fun'ral, will anyone be there?

Was it really love?

Do you really care?

Rpt chourus

Interlude (d flat/E)

Gtr solo#1(Emin/phrygian))
Modulate up a min 3rd

Gtr solo #2(gmin/phrygian) mods back to eflat

chourus , fade out :D Hugs dude!

Originally Posted by: Bar Chord NickI agree too however we generally write about what we are familiar with.

Right. There's a common thought amongst writers (and apparently songwriters, who knew???) that you can only write about what you are familiar with and success comes to those who write about what they know. I can agree with this to a degree. You don't have had to kill someone to be able to write a murder mystery. Nor do you have to be a politician to write about the political process. What 'what you know' about means write about those things you are familar with either personally or things that you've spent the time researching and reading about. I've never been on heroin but I once wrote a song about heroin addiction for a friend of mine.

I think the point is, it's easier to write about things that have happened to you but if you're willing to do the research, watch, look and listen, you can write about anything.

You're right? Songs are not suppose to describe your feelings. They are poetry that is written from the heart, from your soul, your feelings, and your experiences. Are you writing for yourself or for others to enjoy. Who wants to hear about you being consipated. They want to hear about your love, etc. They want to feel what you are feeling without you actually telling them or at least relate to it.

Originally Posted by: SongmanYou're right? Songs are not suppose to describe your feelings. They are poetry that is written from the heart, from your soul, your feelings, and your experiences. Are you writing for yourself or for others to enjoy. Who wants to hear about you being consipated. They want to hear about your love, etc. They want to feel what you are feeling without you actually telling them or at least relate to it.

What? Poetry does not describe the feelings of the writer? The writer presents himself, opens himself, to a situation, trys to understand it or relate to it and then responds to how he feels or observes the situation. Many writers focus on 'love' songs because it's something that most can relate to in one way or another so it has a broad appeal. Not trying to be a nert here but you've kinda tripped up on your argument. You said that 'songs are not supposed to describe your feelings' and then in the next line you say that 'they are poetry written from the heart, from your soul, your feelings and your experiences'.

Look, I'm no song writer. But I do write both fiction and non-fiction so maybe there's something different at work here. But I just don't think I understand what it is that you're saying. Even though I do not write songs, I know a lot of them and I know what I like. I've been a big fan of singer-songwriters over the years and, I'm guessing, I may be in the minority, but I think that the lyrics are as equally important, and in many cases moreso, as the music behind it. Take Dylan for example. Perhaps the greatest lyricist of this generation. His songs ramble all over the place. They can invoke some tender moments and at other times, tell a hard, character driven tale, some about madness, some screeds crying for change and others a mirror held up to the ugliness of the human condition. All of them heartfelt. All of them based on his feelings about the situations or characters.

And I would have no doubts that Dylan could write a song about being constipated that might actually be worth giving a listen.

Besides, guys like Todd Sndyer, Heywood Banks and Stephen Lynch write some hilarious songs about things that are not in the normal purview of the standard musician catalogue.

Just my two and half cents worth.

Sorry, that was a typo.
It was suppose to read, "Songs are suppose to express the writer's feelings."

As for Bob Dylan, he is definitely a good lryicists, but his singing is terrible!
Though he is good with lryics and music, I wouldn't say he was the best of his generation. Look at those that Dylan seeked out for help. Woody Guthrie for one.

True one can write fiction and non-fiction. A writer doesn't have to comit a murder to write about it, but they do have to do an awful lot of research and talk to a lot of people before they write a compelling story.

You may not have to see a person murdered to write about it, but I think you at least need experience the loss of a love one to be able to write about the suffering and pain. You cannot write a compelling story or song about the emptiness and sorrow and the slow recovery without losing someone anymore than you can tell about love without ever being in love.

Anyway, that's my opinion.

Originally Posted by: SongmanYou're right? Songs are not suppose to describe your feelings. They are poetry that is written from the heart, from your soul, your feelings, and your experiences. Are you writing for yourself or for others to enjoy. Who wants to hear about you being consipated. They want to hear about your love, etc. They want to feel what you are feeling without you actually telling them or at least relate to it.

James Joyce wrote a good three pages about a character having trouble crapping. Many, many people wanted to read about Leopold Bloom being constipated.

I'm gonna agree with Jolly, I'd much rather listen to a song about some one being constipated then to another damned love song. Geeze get over it already. From now on everyone gets to write one, and thats it ok?

as for the original poster. Great song, has a very clear rhythm to it. Flows well, one of the first songs that I was easily able to pick up the rhythm just by reading the lyrics. congrats, I think "Leaving You" was the best title so far. I always like song titles with "ode" in them for some reason.

Originally Posted by: SongmanWho wants to hear about you being consipated.

Frank Zappa.