Please read this.

I wrote this poem about my grandfather, who, it seems, won't be around much longer.

Papa

I wanted to write a poem about you,
but all that came out
was a page of cliches
about death

and greatness.

I failed as a poet.

Failed to realize
there are some things
which can't be written,

can't be expressed. Some pains
that language doesn't know,

that maybe
haven't been given a name

because we can't understand them, or because

we fear them.

So I stopped writing.

Instead I stood outside
in the cold
and screamed at God
while my fingers got numb.

I thought of you,
mocked by your oxygen tank,
forced to breathe from a little yellow cylinder,

and I screamed again

and again

and again.

Wordless, hopeless screams
dissipated in the air
like the breath-steam leaving my mouth,

like the oxygen leaving your tank,

like the tears leaving the eyes
of everyone who ever loved you,

and I didn't have to wonder
what it's like
when a great man dies.

Its an honest piece.

i concur with eric...

Another step along the path, son...




If you are part of his legacy, he did well.

I disagree when you say that you 'failed as a poet'.

You've written a piece that clearly honors a great man who has befriended, taught and touched you in a way that will always be reflected in everything you do.

This is the most honest and heartfelt writing that I have seen in a long, long time.

You do the man a grand honor, young man. As LATS said "Another step along the path..."

You know how much I hate/don't understand free verse poetry, but this one actually got through to me. You did a good job.

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Originally Posted by: earthman buckYou know how much I hate/don't understand free verse poetry, but this one actually got through to me. You did a good job.

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Well, he's still with us, thank God. But we don't know for exactly how long. He'll die within a year and a half for sure.

Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonWell, he's still with us, thank God. But we don't know for exactly how long. He'll die within a year and a half for sure.

If I may ask, what is it? Does he have some disease, or is he just getting old?

Originally Posted by: earthman buckIf I may ask, what is it? Does he have some disease, or is he just getting old?

I don't know the scientific name, but it's called "shadow on the lung."

Very well written. :)
You've come a hell of a long way since you first started posting at GuitarTricks.

wow, that was one poem I actually understood, but despite that it was still written extremely well.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. :(

That's deeply moving... I'm so sorry about your grandfather. I'll keep him - and you - in my prayers.

Good stuff man, i certainly related to it, and sorry about your grandfather.

I'm deeply sorry for you. We're all here for ya.

:(