Originally Posted by: earthman buckTo save a bit of time, the story can be found here.

I think you did alright, Nick. The critics were a bit harsh, but I can sorta see what they were getting at. At first I thought the dialogue was a bit phony-sounding, but as it went on I was actually picturing the characters talking without needing to pause and cringe, so that's definitely a good thing.

I don't know what else to say. I'd like to read more of this, to see where it's going.

Thanks. Some people like the dialogue written in that machine gun fashion and others don't. Matter of personal taste I suppose. I tried to write it the way my friends and I talk. There's usually not much time for rumination in between thoughts.

Thanks again for taking the time to read it. I do appreciate it.