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strat-man
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Joined: 01/14/06
Posts: 375
strat-man
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Joined: 01/14/06
Posts: 375
02/17/2007 8:26 pm
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence 'what are you doing Nancy?' he asked, 'my goldfish died' replied Nancy tearfully 'and i've just buried him' the neighbour laughed and condescendingly said 'thats a big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?' Little Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied 'that's because he's inside your f**king cat!'
Strat totin
Six string slingin
Son of a gun

I met my maker, i made him cry, and on my shoulder he asked me why, his people won't fly thru the storm, i said, listen here man they don't even know your born.

strat-man rocks with vox
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# 1
PRSplaya
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Joined: 09/19/02
Posts: 3,941
PRSplaya
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Joined: 09/19/02
Posts: 3,941
02/18/2007 12:57 am
Originally Posted by: DAMAGED ONEHey you guys and gals ever heard Jay Hickman Comedy? :p

My favorite comedian of all time!!!!!!!!

*said with a mentally challenged lisp*
"wanna go on a boat wide... wit da macho man"
[FONT=Palatino Linotype]Tonja Renee's personal instructor[/FONT]

>HERE'S WHERE I AM NOW<
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# 2
acapella
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Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
acapella
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Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
02/18/2007 6:12 am
Originally Posted by: AkiraYour mom's so fat she walked by the tv and I missed three episodes.


I laughed out loud at that one. Commendable!
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
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# 3
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
02/21/2007 6:36 pm
A blind man walks into a fish store and says well hello ladies
The Mind Is A Terrible Think To Waste.
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# 4
aschleman
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Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
aschleman
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Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
02/21/2007 8:41 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XL4gQohkGL8

Demetri Martin. haha... my fav. comedian
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# 5
strat-man
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Joined: 01/14/06
Posts: 375
strat-man
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Joined: 01/14/06
Posts: 375
02/21/2007 9:51 pm
Originally Posted by: DAMAGED ONEA blind man walks into a fish store and says well hello ladies


:D Man, the old ones are the best :D
Strat totin
Six string slingin
Son of a gun

I met my maker, i made him cry, and on my shoulder he asked me why, his people won't fly thru the storm, i said, listen here man they don't even know your born.

strat-man rocks with vox
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# 6
WrigglerUk
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Joined: 09/20/06
Posts: 159
WrigglerUk
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Joined: 09/20/06
Posts: 159
02/22/2007 12:27 pm
Originally Posted by: DAMAGED ONEA blind man walks into a fish store and says well hello ladies


And it's corollary...

If girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, how come they taste like anchovies?
Can you play "Far Far Away?"

Yes - how far would you like?
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# 7
hunter60
Humble student
Joined: 06/12/05
Posts: 1,579
hunter60
Humble student
Joined: 06/12/05
Posts: 1,579
02/22/2007 12:41 pm
Originally Posted by: WrigglerUkAnd it's corollary...

If girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, how come they taste like anchovies?



That's a Zen koan. Kinda like 'If a southern rock guitarist is playing in a forest and tree falls on him, does it sound like Freebird?' Yes Grasshopper, concentrate on this question and some day you will achieve enlightenment. And a rack of ribs. And a pickup truck. And a hat.

Good Lord, I need a vacation.... :)
[FONT=Tahoma]"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan [/FONT]
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# 8
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
04/23/2007 7:31 pm
Originally Posted by: AkiraGod isn't a woman, how do I know?
His name is Andy, How do I know you ask?? Because of that song about him ( Andy walks with me Andy talks with me)
The Mind Is A Terrible Think To Waste.
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# 9
jeffhx
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Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
jeffhx
Disco Bandit
Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
04/25/2007 2:01 pm
how do you make a hormone?

oooooooooooooooo
[FONT=Impact]grooviest tunes ever [/FONT]
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# 10
DAMAGED ONE
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Posts: 894
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
04/25/2007 2:12 pm
Originally Posted by: jeffhxhow do you make a hormone?

oooooooooooooooo
LOL Now Thats Classic Bro. LMFAO :D
The Mind Is A Terrible Think To Waste.
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# 11
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
05/03/2007 5:30 pm
What do you call those little bumps on a womans breast?
Thats Brail for Suck here.
The Mind Is A Terrible Think To Waste.
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# 12
Scotttaylor72
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Joined: 11/10/05
Posts: 239
Scotttaylor72
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Joined: 11/10/05
Posts: 239
05/03/2007 5:33 pm
Originally Posted by: jeffhxhow do you make a hormone?

oooooooooooooooo


I thought the punchline was "don't pay her"?
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# 13
lyricchic
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Joined: 03/18/06
Posts: 60
lyricchic
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Joined: 03/18/06
Posts: 60
05/03/2007 7:58 pm
I must be slow -- I didn't get the hormone bit until my friend oh so graciously explained it. lmao.

Your mamma's so fat, when she sits on a rainbow skittles pop out.

Your mamma's so fat, her belt size is infinity.
Don't worry. I shred.
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# 14
ericthecableguy
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Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
ericthecableguy
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Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
05/04/2007 2:26 am
Your so dumb, you couldn't find dope on willy nelson.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
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# 15
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
DAMAGED ONE
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Joined: 01/22/06
Posts: 894
05/04/2007 3:04 pm
Originally Posted by: Scotttaylor72I thought the punchline was "don't pay her"?
HaHa Thats when you get your face Pimp. :eek:
The Mind Is A Terrible Think To Waste.
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# 16
blunote47
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Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 11
blunote47
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Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 11
05/05/2007 9:16 pm
Mamas so fat she wakes up in sections.
Mamas so fat her class picture was an arial photo.
Mamas so fat the sun uses her for shade.
Mamas so dumb she tripped over a cordless telephone.

Thank you...and dont forget tipping is not a remote city in
China.
"If music be the food of love; play on."
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# 17
jeffhx
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Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
jeffhx
Disco Bandit
Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
05/06/2007 2:41 am
your mama so ugly that she could make a blind kid cry
[FONT=Impact]grooviest tunes ever [/FONT]
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# 18
earthman buck
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Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
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Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
05/06/2007 6:45 am
Originally Posted by: jeffhxyour mama so ugly that she could make a blind kid cry

Yeah, well, jam a pair of scissors into a blind kid's toe. He won't be laughing. You don't need to be ugly to do that.

...though it does help.
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
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# 19

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