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Joined: 07/09/05
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Registered User
Joined: 07/09/05
Posts: 1,929
02/08/2007 3:39 am all seem to like reading stories, so here's one i wrote for writers craft. It's a mock dystopian kind of...but i wrote it because of a new principal who came into our school and "improved it". I had a step up already, cause the teacher of this class, like most of the others, despised him. There was tons more i wanted to include, but i had to keep it short.

Anyways, I got a 90% on it so i thought i'd share. Anything that sounds stupid is just my screwed sense of humour...I added some notes in red. Enjoy...or don't...whatever.

In our galaxy, there is a planet called Earth. On earth, there lays a country named Canada, and in that country is a small tourist town named Fenway CreekThis town is the home of Fenway Creek Secondary School. .My school is fenlon falls secondary . The school stands proud in its glory, and even during the darkest night, a ray of lights beams on it from the apex of the Heavens.
But don’t be deceived by its charm, for inside works an evil, unprecedented by life or literature. It is an evil that would cause even the Spartan army to personally wet themselves. They call themselves the Totalitarian Control and Omnipotence Bureau, or TCOB. Education is number one, and anything else is bollocks. Students must live by the choices of TCOB or, take the chance of paying with their lives. TCOB is really an acronym for Take Care Of Buisness that the vice principle uses...long story

September 2, 2007. 7:50am
One thousand teenagers crowded the school, which for the last two months had sat vacant, awaiting their arrival. Today, the building smelled of antibacterial cleaner. The lockers had received a fresh coating of forest green paint and music could be heard from portable stereos. Reunited lovers openly and nauseatingly displayed affection for each other. Freshmen students scurried, walking in circles and bumping into one another, desperately scoping the halls for their fluorescent green shirt-wearing saviors We have a program where grade 12's with green shirts tell grade 9's where their classes are. Meanwhile, (most reluctant) returning students toured the freshly waxed halls hopelessly, dreading the year of school that was about to unfold. If only they knew.
Suddenly, a siren started blaring, like a wartime air raid siren. Bewildered students looked frantically to locate the source of the shrill and deafening blare. With that, an authoritative voice came over the intercom. “All students report to the gym immediately!”
The two men waiting in the gym watched the students begin to file in. Each donned a suit blacker than the deepest depths of the deepest hole ever. They seemed in a way, untouchable. “It is almost time.” the taller one said. There was an unmistakably chilling and determined look within his eyes.
The other nodded in agreement. “So it is.”
The murmur of the crowd grew into a roar. Without warning, the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling of the gym cut out, leaving the room blacker than the really black suits that the two men were wearing. The commotion of the audience ceased. A solitary spotlight appeared above the taller man. He paced around in front of his captivated audience; basking in the attention the spotlight garnered him. “Cue the theme song,” he said. With that, an epic and haunting melody reminiscent of that of a battle scene in a Hollywood film began to sound quietly, eventually reaching an ominous crescendo. The music carried on quietly as he began to speak. “For years, education has taken second seat to frivolity in this wretched school. Students have been allowed to run free, forgoing vital seconds of education. It ends now. My name is Commander Constantine.The principals real name is Cossarin... This is,” he pointed into the darkness, “Give him a spotlight.” The spotlight shone down on the other man, creating a blinding glare off his cue ball head. He began again, “This is Lieutenant Marsbar.” Vice principles real name is Marsden, just made him dumb in the story for a laugh
Marsbar stepped forward, “For now on, you are at our mercy. We call our administration the Totalitarian Control and Omniscience Bureau, TCOB if I may. That means…um…” he turned to Constantine, who whispered something in his ear. “That means you have to listen to us. Remember, live by choice, not by pants.”
“Chance,” Constantine whispered in his ear.
“Yes, Chance. Live by chance not by pants.”
Constantine shook his head in disgust, and took over the talking. “Things around here will not as you have grown accustomed to. Enjoy this day of freedom; it will be your last. Dismissed.”
The rest September second was carried out as a typical high school day. Maybe this was a tactic of TCOB to increase the effect of the next day’s actions, or maybe they just weren’t prepared. Even though there was freedom at Fenway Creek Secondary School on that day, as Constantine promised, it would be the last.

September 3, 2007. 7:50am
One thousand teenagers again filed into the school; only today they were escorted off the bus and shoed into their classes by camouflage-wearing officers wielding loaded AK-47’s.
The students of Mr. Obusforme’s biology class sat in silence. The small classroom had, had it’s windows boarded up the night before. There was but one light in the classroom. The light illuminated the blackboard—a TCOB tactic to increase focus on learning, and nothing else. No student dared to talk or move. Typically, this would be an educator’s dream environment, but in this particular case, Obusforme was equally anxious. He opened his mouth to begin teaching, when an earsplitting voice invaded the classroom via the intercom. “Stand for the national anthem.”
Sam Wankleknautran bolted down the dim upstairs hallway. He had not yet figured his way around the school. He knew he was in trouble, but not yet how much. When he heard the voice on the announcements order everyone to stand, he began to feel sick. His stomach felt as if the intestines inside of it were being tied into knots. He nearly soiled himself when he saw Constantine come round the corner in the hall ahead of him.
The anthem started. O Canada!
“Stand at attention!” Constantine screamed at Sam.
True Patriot Love,
“What are you doing in the halls?”
“I was…I wa…”
“Shut up!”
The True North strong and free!
Another frightened and lost grade nine came around the corner. “Don’t move!” shrieked Constantine.
God keep our land glorious and free! The teachers really get like's kind of ironic and i wanted to show the contrast
Sam head tilted back, and sneezed. “What do you not understand about showing respect for your country? Do you just wish you defy me?” Constantine’s eyes glared as he kicked Sam with all his might directly in the ribs. Sam screamed fell to his knees, crying. He spit up blood and clutched his broken rib, as Constantine handcuffed him and called for a TCOB officer to drag him to the forbidden room. Sam would never see his family again.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.