Jolly writes something readable!


Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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01/23/2007 11:57 pm
Here's the more-or-less first draft of a poem I wrote today:

Trapped,
like a phoenix,
a small boy flares into a small man.

A small man,
sitting in the dark,
cutting scrapbook photo albums
of the small boy.

Birthday cake, baby clothes, baseball caps,
kindergarten, middle school, limo ride on prom night.
Brother home from college, a brace of smiles, newfound open conversation.

Seeing him off
for the return to school.

The phone call.

The funeral.

Twenty years later,
a small man
lets fall a phoenix tear
onto the page

as a decades-gone brother
wonders why he hadn't told him more often
to be strong:
that he loved him.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 1
hunter60
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hunter60
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01/24/2007 12:06 am
Very, very nice! Personally, I have never been a big fan of poetry mainly because I just don't get it but I get this one! :D

"And that cat's in the cradle...hmmm....hmmmm" This poem made me start humming this song even though I haven't heard it in years.
[FONT=Tahoma]"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan [/FONT]
# 2
strat-man
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strat-man
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01/24/2007 9:00 pm
Very nice Jolly, i really like that :)
Strat totin
Six string slingin
Son of a gun

I met my maker, i made him cry, and on my shoulder he asked me why, his people won't fly thru the storm, i said, listen here man they don't even know your born.

strat-man rocks with vox
# 3
guitarfreak141
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guitarfreak141
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01/25/2007 2:49 am
That was really deep and exquisite, I liked it very much.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Rock stars ... is there anything they don't know?
# 4


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01/25/2007 12:05 pm
Nice one Jolly. Very nice.
# 5
Scotttaylor72
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Scotttaylor72
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01/25/2007 12:38 pm
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonYou didn't read very many of my posts.


Hey, I read this one! ANNNNND, I'll have you know I gave it a thumbs up.
# 6
iiholly
hmm
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iiholly
hmm
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Posts: 2,368
01/26/2007 2:01 am
I can't read it... sorry its just that bad. :p

# 7
HDJ
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HDJ
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01/26/2007 7:52 pm
Finally something "readable". Guess we're all too stupid to understand the other stories/poems...
Check out my band:
Havoc Din
# 8
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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01/26/2007 8:03 pm
Originally Posted by: JFRICKFinally something "readable". Guess we're all too stupid to understand the other stories/poems...

That's not what I meant at all!
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 9
HDJ
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HDJ
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01/26/2007 9:59 pm
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonThat's not what I meant at all!


I know, I was just making a joke.... :)
Check out my band:
Havoc Din
# 10
earthman buck
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earthman buck
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01/26/2007 11:05 pm
Originally Posted by: JFRICKI know, I was just making a joke.... :)

Your joke has failed! *slaps you*
# 11
Jolly McJollyson
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Jolly McJollyson
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Posts: 5,457
01/27/2007 2:24 am
Originally Posted by: JFRICKI know, I was just making a joke.... :)

Yeah, I was choosing between the two options of you making and not making a joke. Figured I'd cover my bases so I didn't look totally pretentious, haha!
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
# 12
HDJ
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Joined: 05/10/04
Posts: 1,445
HDJ
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01/29/2007 4:00 pm
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonYeah, I was choosing between the two options of you making and not making a joke. Figured I'd cover my bases so I didn't look totally pretentious, haha!


It's all good. I should have put a smiley or something out beside it to show I was joking around with the comment....
Check out my band:
Havoc Din
# 13
MAVERIC777
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MAVERIC777
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01/30/2007 2:44 pm
Hey man great job.... I realy enjoyed that.
A man isen't measured by how far he has traveld in life, but how he made the jurney. ;)

MySpace
# 14

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