Originally Posted by: earthman buckGood call, aschleman. I wouldn't say it isn't genuine, necessarily, because I do mean what I said. However, these were kind of forced lyrics, so maybe that's what gave you the impression it did. Like I said, I wrote everything but the chorus in 15 minutes (which is a new record for me).

Yeah, that probably is it. The lyrics are good... I just think that's probably one of those songs that needs the music to fully convey the feelings or the tonal mood. Now that I read them again... I kind of like how it feels mechanical... Would make a good metal song. Or a mixture.... Start slow with clean tones and/or acoustic guitar... or acoustic with a melodic lead ala "Fade to Black" for this part:

Yeah we're better off alone
we can stand just fine alone
when put to the test, the best
tend to resemble stone

Then slowly build it up each set of lines a bit more with some power chords until you kick the acoustic guitar completly out for the:

Mobilizing every day
synthesizing DNA
you can throw out every week, and speak
without a thing to say

Which is the center of the song pretty much.... Use it as a climax and then slow it back down and play the second "Why don't you kick off...." soft like the first set of lines.... That would be a cool song. That's how I would arrange it but it's your song!!