Originally Posted by: pureoo never saw this one.
the lines aren't the same syllables.
if you were to sing this, you'd have to go real fast on some lines then slow on some. there are some words you can cut off from some lines and maybe add to others and it'll still make sense.
you can also break it into sections.

other than that, its pretty smart. i liked it, but in my opinion the lines need to be about the same length of syllables.

don't throw it away.

thank you wonder boy but it does need to be thrown away <3claire