Well, I have to sit here shame-faced having read your responses. Andrew, I wish there was something that I could say that would make even the tiniest dent in what you and yours are dealing with. But there really isn’t. I don’t want to trivialize your situation by saying that I understand. I can understand a small piece of it but nothing on that magnitude. I lost both of my birth parents by the time I was 4 ½ years old and ended being split from my two sisters and brother. So I can sort of understand the loss of a parent. And it’s a wicked pain. That much I know. There will come a time when it hurts a little less but I can’t say that the pain ever totally goes away. It’s the pain of memory and that’s one of those pains that you will always know and welcome. Because with it comes the flood of memories you have of them. I know that I can’t think of parents, relatives and friends that have gone on without getting a little hitch in the heart. But that hitch always serves to remind me how much I loved them then and how much I love them now.

I agree with the others. Hang in there. I know it’s tough. Believe me, I know it’s tough. If you feel like unloading, you can always email me or send a PM.

As I said at the start of this, I sit here shame-faced and a little misty eyed for whining at the start of this thread. To read what so many of you have dealt with and dealt with admirably has made me realize just how picayune and tiny my own problems really are in the long run. To have an injured combat vet offer to help me through this time of ennui and sadness when he’s got his own things to deal with is, well, numbing. Your kindness is amazing to me. I suspect that there are a number of good things out there, I have just been to jaded and solipsistic to realize it before.

Thank you all for opening my eyes a little bit. You’re never too old to learn a thing or two.

Schmange, your response was also a nice cold-water slap. For whatever reason, I had lost my way. At one time, I had been a man of dreams but the divorce and subsequent choices knocked me off kilter and I have not been able to right myself since. Yours is an inspirational tale and one that I won’t soon forget. Thank you for sharing.

I’ve got a ways to go to get myself back together but thanks to you all, I think I know what I need to do. I have spoken to a therapist in the past and it is helpful. Sadly, my current benefits won’t really cover it for me and quite frankly, I don’t have the cash for it on my own so until I get a new job with better benefits, I’ll be dealing with this on my own. I need to get back to chasing my dreams and a little less time whining and wallowing in the past. That does no good.

Again, thank you for your help and my apologies for whining. I’ll try to ‘suck it up and keep moving forward.’



:o